BiggerFatterWider

That's my new blog name.

Dude, I've been sucking like a Hoover the last two weeks. Thank GOD I'm only about a pound up from the last time I blogged, though I DID see two days where I saw 280.8 and 280.4.

It's bee a nasty three weeks. I worked out ONCE since I started my 12-week program, and I've put on a pound.

Food? No discipline. Working out? Too many excuses.

It's been ugly.

I'm leaving for Michigan on Tuesday afternoon, and my goal was to be under 270 by then. Well, that ain't gonna happen, people. My new goal is to just get back to the 272.5 I was at several weeks ago.

I find myself disappointed in who I've been these last couple weeks. I'm pissed at myself. Two days of 280's? Really? I mean, I actually feel fatter. My chest feels flabbier. My arms look scrawnier. The mirror has NOT been kind.

How do I let that happen? I have no idea, but it stops today.

By Tuesday morning, I WILL be AT LEAST 272.6 on my scale. I will have counted every calorie for five days. I will have done as many sets of push ups, curls, shoulder presses - whatever - as I can do by then. I'll get back to taking walks, or tossing a football.

I'll do everything I've been doing to get myself from 363 to 272.

And I'll do better about blogging. I just haven't cared enough to put thoughts down on cyber paper. But I'll blog every day between now and vacation.

There's a lot going on with us right now - some kind of stressful situations, and a lot of uncertainty about our future - but to blame my lack of focus on that would be wrong. My lack of focus is solely responsible for my lack of focus. Nothing else. Nobody else.

And so, here I go again with the reset button. It's helped in the past, so we'll see how it does this time around.

Wish me luck.

Not off to a Great Start

Eating has been great. Haven't topped 1,800 calories so far, which is good. But I haven't worked out at all to this point. It's been a mix of lack of time and lack of energy due to a lack of sleep. I did take the girls for a 2-mile walk yesterday to get them out of Beck's hair, but that's been about it.

Of course, my weight was WAY back up today, which makes perfect sense. Eat great, do something active, put on 1.4 pounds.

Stupid.

So, here's what I'm going to try to do over the next few weeks - until the Colorado Blizzard Season makes itself known:

> Sprint/Strength Circuits 3x Per Week
60 yard sprint, 25 plyo hops, 10 push ups, walk to starting point, repeat until death

> Dumbbell Workout 3x Per Week
Bench, row, curl, shoulder press, shoulder extension, straight dead lifts, squats. Use moderate weights and reps, 3 sets of each.

> Add in basic crunches and sit-ups on Weight Days

I'm hoping my dad doesn't know about this blog, but Beck and I are bringing our girls to him for a surprise early Christmas gift. We'll be taking a day off from Grand Rapids to head to Detroit to meet up with the Michigan branch of the Coalition at a Pistons game. My big goal right now, outside of getting to 260, is to be 10 pounds lighter on 12-9 than I was on 11-12, when I started this thing back up. That would mean that I'd need to weigh in at 267.4 - on a foreign scale - on the 9th.

100% doable.

So, I'm going to make a real effort to do my Cardio stuff this afternoon. We have a meeting at 3:30, and Beck and I both need to go do this today, so timing will be tricky. We'll do what we can, though.

Anyway, just wanted to get some thoughts on "paper," so I now return you to your regularly-scheduled blog-reading...

My 350th Post

Let's play everybody's favorite blog game...

Good News / Bad News!

Good News: Weight went down 2.6 pounds from yesterday, placing me back under 275 at 274.0.
Bad News: I STILL need to lose 3.2 pounds to get back to my lowest weight of the transformation.

Good News: No fire alarms last night.
Bad News: I was still up from 2-4, and I have no clue why.

Good News: I don't have any obligations today, so I'll have time for some sort of workout.
Bad News: I'm still feeling wiped out, so it ain't gonna be easy to push through.

Alright, enough of that.

Took my measurements Monday to start this 12-week stretch. Here are the comparisons to my last set of measurements on July 28th:

Neck:
18/18, no change

Chest:
49.75/49.5, -.25"

Bicep:
15.5/15.32, -.12"

Waist:
47/45.5, -1.5"

Hips:
43/41.5, -1.5"

Thigh:
24/22.5, -1.5"

That's about it, everybody. Another day in the fight we're all fighting. Just do the best you can today, and don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow. It's cliche', but let's all just take this things one day at a time. It's all we can do.

Day One - Ugh

Calories - 1,790
Workout - Nada

So, yesterday kind of blew. We were all over the place with work-related errands in the morning, then we came home, put the kids down for naps, and we each had some more work we HAD to get done.

Next thing we know, it's 4:30, and we have to walk over to Target, as we promised our oldest we'd so when she woke up. We got back home around 5:30, and I kept the kids busy while Beck made us some 3-bean turkey chili.

We eat at 6:15, finish up around 6:45, and now we're playing with the kids for a little while before work calls again. Now we're both back at work.

Fast-forward to 8:15, and it's sleepy time for the kids. The youngest needs some special attention to get her down (teething), so I keep the oldest busy while Becky deals with the baby.

It's now 9:00 p.m., and I put the oldest in bed. Now Beck and I are available, but we both realize we have some more things to do.

And now it's 11:00 p.m., and I need to unwind. So, I pop a game in the 360. Now, I know that I COULD be lifting right now, but it's been a long day, and I have nothing in the tank. I SHOULD have powered through and done what I needed to do, but I took the easy way out.

So now it's 1:30 a.m., and Beck and I are wiped out. So, we head to bed, and 45 minutes later our fire alarm goes off. It seems one of our downstairs neighbors was trying to knock a door down to beat his wife (all heresay), and she got out and pulled the fire alarm to get the police there.

So, from 2:15 to 2:45 our entire apartment building was filled with a constant, shrieking "BEEEEEEEEP-BEEEEEEEP-BEEEEEEEEP." The fire department finally got things turned off before 3, so we were all back to bed. Well, all except the baby, who decided she was pissed and was not going to go back to sleep anytime soon.

So, Beck tried to rock her out, and I stayed up as moral support. And it was 4:30 a.m. by the time we were finally back to bed.

And I was up at 9. I have NO energy, my eyes are blurry, I feel numb - it's not going to be a good day.

In good news, I did eat 100% clean yesterday, and my calories were right on track at 1,790. I could have had 1/5 of a slice of cheese if I wanted and still been at 1,800! Whee!

Here's to a better day today.

And to the many of us who are still struggling, I hope I can count on you to be here with me. I don't need comments, as I know I've been struggling to find time to comment on your blogs. But I still read, and I'm following along with all of you. I need you to be strong for me, and I'm going to do all I can to be strong for you.

Screw This Noise

It's back on tomorrow, people. Just like Rob, I weighed in before bed last night (Rob, we're MORONS), and I saw 280.0. Now, I dropped four pounds overnight, and I'm 276 this morning, so I've pretty much maintained over these last three weeks. But that 280 sucked the life right out of me, man.

Maintenance is cool, and all, but I can't worry about maintaining until I actually get to my goal weight.

The good news is that I feel the fire creeping back in. I told Beck we need to get the sparring equipment back out. I'm going to be laying out a dumbbell workout for each of us this afternoon. I'm back into my Under Armour addiction phase.

I mean, look at those dudes on the top of the page. The one guy is like, 100 years old. If a dude that's 100 years old can get that lean and strong, I sure don't have any excuses.

The other dude has HIV. One of the deadliest viruses in the universe, and he transforms like that.

Dang.

So, here's the deal. I STILL don't have a gym. I STILL can't afford a trainer or supplements. I STILL can't go to boxing training. It's me, my 100 pounds of dumbbells and my $7 dumbbell bench. Would I prefer to have access to any or all of those things? You bet. But I can't let my lack of extras stop me. I'm down 90 pounds without spending a single day in a gym, and I can drop another 20, if need be.

So, here's how it's going to work-

Dumbbell weight workout 3 days per week
HIIT Cardio (sprints? stairs? hiit sparring?) 3x per week.
Saturdays off

Goals-

Drop my final 16 pounds (more if needed)
Achieve noticeable toning improvements
Increase strength
Increase cardio endurance (mine still blows)
Achieve 90% or higher success over the next 84 days*

*I'm only shooting for 90% because of our schedule. When deadline week comes, things get NUTS. If I can stay at 90% those weeks, I'll kill this thing.

Misc.-

I will be counting calories - not portion sizes
I'll aim for 1,800 calories per day
No Myoplex or EAS supplements
I will be buying Kashi Go Lean Fiber/Protein rolls**
Saturdays off

**I'm choosing these because they're gross, so I won't be tempted to eat the whole box in one sitting, which I have been known to do before.

I started the process last night. I went to Wal Mart at 9pm last night to go get some snacks. Did I get SNICKER'S? Reese's? Ice Cream? Candy Corn?

YEP!

Just kidding. I bought us each a couple of Kashi bars. Lower calories than 2 candy bars, and lots of fiber and protein. The journey of 100 pounds begins with a single good decision. I think that was a pretty good one.

Also, idle note-

We took our kids trick or treating this year, and I saw something truly sad - kids walking, mom - HUGE mom - riding along side them in her car. Now, do I have all the facts? No. Is it possible she CAN'T walk? Sure. But, on the surface, it made me a little sad. Assuming she was driving out of laziness, I wonder if she's made the connection that that may be WHY she's so out of shape? I don't know, but I know I'll never be that way with my kids. Never.

That's it for today, kids. And a quick word of advice? DON'T WEIGH IN AT 11PM!

Later.

Go, Lions.

Weighing my Options

As usual, not a ton of time. But, I wanted to toss this out there and get some feedback.

I yanked out my old copy of Body for Life tonight and read a few pieces of it. While I don't agree with everything Bill Phillips preaches in that book, I do have to admit that a lot what he says rings true with me, and his training and eating focuses sound pretty reasonable.

I've tried BFL in the past, but I always quit after a week or so. Never saw it through. I'm wondering if, now that I've lost 90 pounds over the last year, if I'd be more apt to finish it this time.

Some of the positives:
BFL lays out a pretty good workout, of which, I could do about 80% of the exercises with my dumbbells.

I'm already down to 15 pounds to go to hit my goal weight, and spending 12 weeks focusing less on weight and more on working out and eating right could help get me focused.

The food that BFL suggests are now foods I'll eat. That wasn't the case the last time I tried this.

I'm just not sure. I can't afford the myoplex crap they want you to take, but maybe some Kashi protein and fiber bars for midday and evening snacks to replace them?

I'm not sure what I'm going to do next. I feel stuck in mud right now. No motivation, no energy, no desire or drive - it's bad, man. This is by FAR the worst funk I've been in since I started this thing.

Guess we'll see what happens, huh?

Anybody have any thoughts on the BFL program as it would relate to me at this stage? Or any general comments on it?

Still Plugging Away

It's been a crazy few days - a lot going on in the professional and personal words.

Quickly, I'm down three pounds in two days as my eating has finally leveled off. I'm hoping to get back on the weight bench tonight.

From here on out, it's just business. I have a job to do, and I'm going to do it. 259.9 by Christmas morning.

I gotta admit, it's gonna feel good to go from 6-8, 365 to 6-8, 259. I'm looking forward to it.

Motivation

This helps get me fired back up.

Damn.

To put it simply...

I've sucked.

Not a ton of time, but here's the basics:

Ate too much, didn't work out, put weight on, need to fix it.

I'm back up to 276.4. Two weeks ago I saw a 270.8 on the scale. The truth is, this could be MUCH worse. I tried to do well for about 2/3 of each day, but it was that last 1/3 that killed me.

So, here are my "back on the horse" goals:

By Thanksgiving Morning - See a 268.8 or lower on the scale
By 12-04 - See a 266 on the scale
By Christmas Morning - See a 259.8 on the scale

How will I do it?

Count calories again
Drink more water
Hit the weights again
Hit the sprinting again
Take walks with the family again
And keep my calories under 1,800

So, I'm back, I'm mad, and I'm determined. I'm hoping that produces some serious results.

I'm Swapmed

Still here, but wanted to explain my lack of blogging.

The company I work for (Score Publishing) produces Colorado Hockey Insider. Well, we also now publish Colorado Football Insider in print and online. And we're also working on putting together several other Web sites to cover other sports that will eventually turn into publications. And I'm trying to staff all of the papers and sites this week.

And it's deadline week.

So, getting a few minutes to come up for air is rare. Yet, here I am.

Otherwise, things are going alright. Hit a new low with a 270.8 yesterday, then ate pizza last night (moron), and was back up to freaking 273 this morning. Still somewhat sick, though I'm feeling better.

Things should get back to normal next week, and then it's on to 260.

Everybody take care!

Still Alive

Not only did I get Beck's cold, but I think I got the flu on top of it. So, I've been barely mobile the last four or five days. My days have consisted of getting up, changing diapers, making breakfast, and laying on the couch until bed time. It's bee awful.

Here's the awful news: When I'm sick, I CRAVE crap. I mean, I CRAVE it. Pizza, burgers, chinese, wings, cookies - I want it all. And this week, I ate it all. Our dinners were pathetic. We ate whatever we wanted. We didn't care.

The good news is that I'm only hungry once per day when I'm sick, so I pretty much only ate dinner all week. I had an occasional bowl of Wheat Chex or a sandwich, but mainly I just ate at dinner time. I didn't eat well, but that is all I ate.

The miracle is this: I only weighed myself twice in the last five days - Wednesday and today. On Wednesday (when I was hoping for something in the 276's), I saw a 274.0 - only .4 up from my average. I weighed myself again this morning, and I was even more shocked. I was hoping to match my 274 from Wednesday, and instead, I got a new low of 271.0.

Pure luck. It's all I can think of. No matter, I'll take it, thank my lucky stars, and press forward. I'm still feeling pretty nasty today, and it's deadline week with the papers (we have two, now), so I may wait until Monday to get back on the bench. I just feel way too weak right now.

So, thanks for the concern from everybody. I'm still here, and I'm closer than ever to my goal of 260. I can still be there by Thanksgiving, I think. Guess we'll see.

No Shame

Well, this is really my first weight-lifting experience since I started my transformation. It certainly felt like it.

First, I'm too damned tall for that bench. So doing my decline bench presses was almost impossible. My head was on the floor, my butt was 1/2-way down the back, and my calves were on the seat. Thanks God for my huge feet holding me on.

Second, dumbbells are tougher than push ups. It's cliche', but I was using muscles I didn't know existed to stabilize those things. I only had 44 pounds on each, but I did three sets of chest presses til I couldn't go any higher, and I followed up with a set of close grip presses, and a set of decline presses. I've NEVER done anything with the close grip, so I was MUCH weaker there than I'd care to admit. But it's a jumping off point.

I then did my curls, my shoulder presses, and my rows, with some decline sit ups mixed in. I have a long way to go with the sit ups. Again, like with weights, haven't done sit ups in MONTHS.

So, this makes me think about some things. I'm really kind of bummed that I'm this far behind everybody else. I wish I would have thought about going out to look for a bench like this sooner. A lot of what feels like wasted time has gone by.

Still, I'm excited to have done a real, weight-driven workout. I'm hurting right now. My arms are rubber, my core hurts, and my chest feels swollen - and those are all amazing feelings.

So, I have a Looooooooong way to go, and I understand that. But this is going to be fun. To be able to feel myself get stronger. To see true differences in my physique. To grow.

I'm going to enjoy the ride.

Editor's Note:

I flexed in the mirror when I was done, because I'm really still 19 inside, and my arms/chest/shoulders looked GREAT. I can get used to always looking that way.

Read the Post Below This One...

But also answer this question:

Does anybody know of a site that will show what exercises will work what muscles? A diagram with each move would be nice, and a dumbbell-specific chart would be ideal.

Thanks!

Also, here's the routine I'm starting today:

Dumbbell Workout - 3 Days Per Week

Chest Press - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Biceps Curl - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Shoulder Press - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Bent Over Row - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Triceps Kickbacks - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Decline Sit Ups - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion

Sprint Intervals - 3 Days Per Week

Sprint 60 yards, perform 25 plyometric hops, walk back to starting point, repeat until passed out.

EDIT

Here's what I was looking for.

Merry Christmas to Me!

Ok, so some quickies, first.

After my nasty weight jump last week (I deserved it), my weight is steadily coming back down. I was 276 and change four days ago, and I was 273 and change today. Slowly but surely. I hope to eclipse my low of 272.8 very soon.

Anyway, Beck and I were able to do a little early Christmas shopping to get each other a few things we needed. You've all heard about her new shoes, but now it's my turn.

First, I got some jeans - 38's, baby. I think my official size is 39 as these are a little snug, but I'll be fitting into them well soon enough. Also got a 2XL shirt that I hope shrinks a little bit, as it's right on the line of too big. Yes, a 2XL shirt that is slightly too big. Mind-boggling.

Lastly, and most importantly, I got this:


Three positions so I can do just about everything, from benching to rowing to sit-ups. I only have about 120 pounds of weights and two dumbbells, but I'll do what I can with what I have. I'd like to move up to the nice Hex dumbbells, but those things cost more that I realized. For 50-pounders they were $30 per dumbbell.

The best news about this thing? It was at a local thrift store, and it cost a whopping $6.95.

Yes, $7.

Now, I start to build. I've been waiting for this for a long time.

This is gonna be fun.

I'll Be Back...

Eventually.

The 10th sucked, and I didn't feel like blogging. And today was crazy and non-stop. I'm hoping to have some blogging time tomorrow. Though, to be honest, you haven't missed much.

Later, gator.

GREAT News!

Mark Be Back

Words of Thanks

I just wanted to take a second to thank everybody for your comments over the last 48 hours or so. They ranged everywhere from supportive, to congratulatory, to brutally honest. Pretty much everything you'd expect from this group.

No matter what you said, it helped in some way, and I thank you.

This week is tough for me every year, but it seems worse this time around. I'm not sure what it is. My mom has been gone for almost three years, but it hurts almost as much today as it did the first time she wasn't here for her birthday. I've been all over the place emotionally this week. Angry, depressed, hyper, and several times I've just teared up and had to fight off the urge to bawl like a baby. And the whole "not hitting my goal" thing? Didn't help. But that one is on me.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know where I was right now. I hope it gets better next week. Like Stella and her groove, I need to get my focus back.

As for the crash dieting thing from yesterday, let me more fully explain.

In my mind, crash dieting is planning to eat whatever you want to eat one day because you can starve yourself the next, therefore there aren't any consequences. That is by NO MEANS what I'm doing. What I'm doing is more of a 24-hour detox than anything. If I screw up and eat tons of crap one day, I want to make sure I eat nothing but healthy stuff the next. So, if I screw up and have pizza, ice cream, burgers, Chinese, and candy corn on Tuesday, I'll be sure to have apples, oranges, carrots, salads, etc. on Wednesday. It's not a planned thing, and I'm still taking in calories. I'm not actually fasting.

I've done this maybe five times in the 11 months I've been doing this. Most of those times, I've done it in the middle of a clean eating week. I just do it to change things up in my diet. Yesterday, I was going to do it to give my body time to burn off all the other nasty carbs I'd eaten the night before. I'm still eating five times through the day, but instead of having a sandwich, or cereal, or grilled chicken, I'm having a couple of apples, a salad, or a plate of veggies.

I don't see how that's unhealthy for as often as I've done it, plus I know Vegans have pretty healthy lifestyles, and they eat that kind of food every day.

Everybody is entitled to their opinions, and that's cool by me. I just happen to disagree with those who feel I'm being unhealthy. Again, this would have been my fifth or sixth time doing this since last Thanksgiving, and I think the pic on the right speaks volumes about how healthy I'm being as I lose this weight. But I appreciate the concern.

By the way, I ended up getting too freaking hungry yesterday, and I ended up having a normal eating day. So the point ends up being somewhat moot, I suppose.

So, Beck and I are off to family free day at the Denver Zoo! Everybody have a great day.

EDIT

One more pic, then I'll stop. Maybe.

Ignore the goofy expression, and focus on the slimness that is the K-Dog. I'm not holding anything in, I'm just using good posture. It makes me think hitting 260 then focusing on building from there (hat tip, Marcol) could be an option.

F-

First, let me say that I'm ashamed of myself this morning. I let myself down, and I let those who have been rooting for me down, and I'm sorry.

On Saturday I went to run the stairs, but they were being worked on, so it wasn't going to happen. Instead, I went to a soccer field, and I ran 60-yard sprints, did 25 plyometric hops, walked back to the starting point, and repeated. I did eight of those, then ran back to my truck about 1/4-mile away, and up a hill. My legs are STILL sore. It was a great workout.

Then came Sunday.

I woke up, needing to have lost about .7 pounds to stay on pace to hit my 269.8 by Wednesday morning. Instead, after a day where I worked my ass off, and ate 110% clean, I put ON .6 pounds. Not a great start to the day.

About an hour later, I was playing with my daughter (she just turned one, and easily weighs 30 pounds), and I felt my back pop and go into spasms. Same thing I fought off last month, but not until after it had sidelined me for a couple of weeks. So, now I've put ON weight, and I can barely move, so working out is not an option.

So, I go through the day eating clean - again. Nothing but healthy foods all day long. So, I weigh myself in the evening to see how things are looking. I can usually tell how the next day's weigh-in will look based on my evening weigh-in, as my body follows pretty predictable trends.

I was 281.6.

And this was HOURS after I had eaten anything. I mildly freaked out, and waited for a little while. I went back in about 2 hours later, expecting to see a MUCH lower number (again, my body trends certain ways, and it's always a great indicator of where I'm heading), and I was still high - 279.0.

I lost it. I mean, I just lost it. My weight was awful, my back went out again, I ate clean and just packed on weight all day - and I'm not handling the whole missing my mom thing too well this week. It was like The Perfect Storm.

So, if my body was going to piss me off and screw with me, I was going to show it what happened when it did. So, I ate like I hadn't eaten in days. Cereal, PB sandwich, candy, chicken - if it was in my reach, I took it out.

I went to bed ashamed and disappointed in myself, and that's how I woke up. Well, ashamed and sick. But that's what I get.

I am so sorry to everybody counting on me to get to 269.8 this week. I never should have let this happen. I knew what I was doing, and I chose to screw myself over by adding to the problems instead of fighting through them. I'm better than that. Seriously, I owe you all an apology.

So, I'm not even weighing myself today. I can't handle what I'm sure to see. Instead, I'm going on a controlled fast. Nothing but fruits, veggies and water all day. My plan is to stay under 700 calories so my body can work all of that crap out of its system.

My back is still killing me, too. I was tossing and turning all night from the pain, and standing straight up is tough. But I lost 11 pounds in September only working out 4-5 times all month because of this exact problem. So, I can do it, again. I'd prefer to go run and do some push ups, but it'll have to wait.

I will hit 269.8, hopefully this week. I'll fight through this, because I have to. I can be nine pounds from my goal if I just focus and do what I need to do.

And for an early Christmas gift, Beck and I will be going out to look for a simple dumbbell bench and some dumbbells. We have room for a small set in our room. Then, I can work like I want to and starting adding some meat to this frame.

But, one step at a time. I need to get this crap out of my system and get my sorry butt to 269.8.

As Rob Suggested

I had to see...

Thanks to everybody for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

Show Off Saturday

Went to Target.
Checked out the clearance.
Found some size 38 shorts.
They were $4.
Haven't worn 38's since Beck and I were dating.
My wedding pants were 40's.
Pictures follow.
Whee!

Holy crap! I'm wearing 38's for the first time since August of 2001!


And here, it looks like I'm showing off my "you-know-what." But I'm just showing off my size 38's. And my calves. I have nice calves.


And this is me - wearing size 38's - looking like I'm content to be 272. But I'm not. Think how much better I'll look at 260!

And this ends today's edition of Show Off Saturday. Feel free to drop by Beck's blog for more showing off!