I need to step away from all of this for a while. I have some intense personal stress right now, and that may be contributing to this, but I also can't stand to keep seeing this scale go up for no reason. I'm up another 1.2 pounds today.
Not going to say I ate perfectly yesterday, but I didn't go much above my calories, and most of what I ate was salad. Nothing in my diet yesterday should have resulted in bouncing that high.
I'm beginning to think that I just can't lose this weight this time. I dropped 96 before, and it was almost easy, but I was four years younger. Now, I've spent the last two years not being able to break back into the 200's for more than a couple days - especially in the last 12 months. I get to about 302, and that's as far as I go - my body just stops losing, no matter what.
But I have too much going on right now to be able to handle seeing that scale go up every morning. For anybody wondering why I weigh every morning: http://jeremy.zawodny.com/blog/archives/006851.html
I really don't know what's next. I have zero motivation to keep working only to see no results, but I also hate being who I am right now. If I could afford a trainer, or some Muay Thai lessons to whip myself into shape, I'd be all over it. But it's just me, my diet, and my basement, and that's not enough, it seems.
I just don't know...
7.15.2010
Up, Up, and Away
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3 comments:
Truth be told your expecting too much too fast... You know how the game is played and won. When you want it bad enough you will make it happen. Get your head strait and the scale will follow. Nothing in life comes easy my man, you know this.
I disagree. I'm not expecting miracles, I'm just expecting not to see weight gain for 4-straight days with clean eating and exercise.
There's nothing on paper that explains putting on the 2.2 pounds I have over the last four days. If I had cheated, ate too much, or stopped caring, I'd put it on me.
But I've been eating clean, working out, and still adding weight. That's what's frustrating.
Well you have to look at the fact that you dropped 8-10 pounds in a few weeks. That initial weight loss is going to be a high % of water weight. Over the last few posts you have talked about your diet not being perfect, how you have missed a workout here and there, and that your majorly stressed. All these things can lead to putting back on water weight / water retention. Of course I am no expert nor do I know what exactly your doing and eating, I can only go off what you write about. This post seemed like you were throwing in the towel and I didn't want to see that. You saying "I'm beginning to think that I just can't lose this weight this time" is you mentally giving up. Truthfully is that even an option? I will be fighting the weight battle for the rest of my life and I know there will be fluctuation (currently up about 15lbs for me). So I will stick with saying if you want it bad enough you will make it happen. Take Care man and believe me when I say I just want to see you do well and be healthy.... that's all my comments have ever been about.
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