That's what I am right now. I find myself almost not caring about the weight loss in the midst of everything else I have going on. To be honest, getting to 240 is pretty insignificant in comparison to most of the issues I and my family are facing right now, both personal and professional.
But I also know that my personal health being unimportant to me is how I ended up at 360+.
I'm just not sure what to do. I'm taking the easy way out, and that's not going to get me anywhere. I have five GREAT days, and when I put weight on, I lose control, and I'm back to the beginning. It's one step forward, two steps back right now, and I'm not sure how to break the pattern.
I just can't deal with personal perfection being rewarded by weight gain. I'm not there mentally right now. I don't have the fuel in the tank to push me over that hill. Instead, I stall out, and coast back to the bottom.
I'll go back to playing basketball tonight, and I'll feel great when it's done. I always do. I'll probably have a much-improved weigh-in tomorrow morning, too. And that may carry me over until Friday. But what happens Friday will be up to me. Momentum will only carry me so far.
Right now, I'm breaking my own momentum, and it's going to be my undoing.
I'm concerned with my lack of focus and heart. I'm worried about my lack of determination. I don't like failing, but that's what I'm doing right now.
And I'm not happy about it.
4.22.2008
Weak
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3 comments:
It's got to do with our living patterns. I'm guessing you do well on structured days and on the other days - not so well.
I've been feeling that "blah" feeling too - after we hoop it up on Tuesdays I feel like I can take on the world, but then Thursday.. Friday.. it diminishes.
Hopefully basketball on the weekends will help you get to the next Tuesday. Find the motivation somewhere, and then draw a map and tell me where it's hiding.
I hope things are looking up for you and your family Kevin. Youre in my thoughts!
C'mon Kev, those peaks and valleys are all part of the journey. Keep moving forward and you'll be seeing the next peak in no time.
Get that Will Smith body, dude. You can do it.
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