I'm Swapmed

Still here, but wanted to explain my lack of blogging.

The company I work for (Score Publishing) produces Colorado Hockey Insider. Well, we also now publish Colorado Football Insider in print and online. And we're also working on putting together several other Web sites to cover other sports that will eventually turn into publications. And I'm trying to staff all of the papers and sites this week.

And it's deadline week.

So, getting a few minutes to come up for air is rare. Yet, here I am.

Otherwise, things are going alright. Hit a new low with a 270.8 yesterday, then ate pizza last night (moron), and was back up to freaking 273 this morning. Still somewhat sick, though I'm feeling better.

Things should get back to normal next week, and then it's on to 260.

Everybody take care!

Still Alive

Not only did I get Beck's cold, but I think I got the flu on top of it. So, I've been barely mobile the last four or five days. My days have consisted of getting up, changing diapers, making breakfast, and laying on the couch until bed time. It's bee awful.

Here's the awful news: When I'm sick, I CRAVE crap. I mean, I CRAVE it. Pizza, burgers, chinese, wings, cookies - I want it all. And this week, I ate it all. Our dinners were pathetic. We ate whatever we wanted. We didn't care.

The good news is that I'm only hungry once per day when I'm sick, so I pretty much only ate dinner all week. I had an occasional bowl of Wheat Chex or a sandwich, but mainly I just ate at dinner time. I didn't eat well, but that is all I ate.

The miracle is this: I only weighed myself twice in the last five days - Wednesday and today. On Wednesday (when I was hoping for something in the 276's), I saw a 274.0 - only .4 up from my average. I weighed myself again this morning, and I was even more shocked. I was hoping to match my 274 from Wednesday, and instead, I got a new low of 271.0.

Pure luck. It's all I can think of. No matter, I'll take it, thank my lucky stars, and press forward. I'm still feeling pretty nasty today, and it's deadline week with the papers (we have two, now), so I may wait until Monday to get back on the bench. I just feel way too weak right now.

So, thanks for the concern from everybody. I'm still here, and I'm closer than ever to my goal of 260. I can still be there by Thanksgiving, I think. Guess we'll see.

No Shame

Well, this is really my first weight-lifting experience since I started my transformation. It certainly felt like it.

First, I'm too damned tall for that bench. So doing my decline bench presses was almost impossible. My head was on the floor, my butt was 1/2-way down the back, and my calves were on the seat. Thanks God for my huge feet holding me on.

Second, dumbbells are tougher than push ups. It's cliche', but I was using muscles I didn't know existed to stabilize those things. I only had 44 pounds on each, but I did three sets of chest presses til I couldn't go any higher, and I followed up with a set of close grip presses, and a set of decline presses. I've NEVER done anything with the close grip, so I was MUCH weaker there than I'd care to admit. But it's a jumping off point.

I then did my curls, my shoulder presses, and my rows, with some decline sit ups mixed in. I have a long way to go with the sit ups. Again, like with weights, haven't done sit ups in MONTHS.

So, this makes me think about some things. I'm really kind of bummed that I'm this far behind everybody else. I wish I would have thought about going out to look for a bench like this sooner. A lot of what feels like wasted time has gone by.

Still, I'm excited to have done a real, weight-driven workout. I'm hurting right now. My arms are rubber, my core hurts, and my chest feels swollen - and those are all amazing feelings.

So, I have a Looooooooong way to go, and I understand that. But this is going to be fun. To be able to feel myself get stronger. To see true differences in my physique. To grow.

I'm going to enjoy the ride.

Editor's Note:

I flexed in the mirror when I was done, because I'm really still 19 inside, and my arms/chest/shoulders looked GREAT. I can get used to always looking that way.

Read the Post Below This One...

But also answer this question:

Does anybody know of a site that will show what exercises will work what muscles? A diagram with each move would be nice, and a dumbbell-specific chart would be ideal.

Thanks!

Also, here's the routine I'm starting today:

Dumbbell Workout - 3 Days Per Week

Chest Press - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Biceps Curl - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Shoulder Press - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Bent Over Row - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Triceps Kickbacks - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Decline Sit Ups - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion

Sprint Intervals - 3 Days Per Week

Sprint 60 yards, perform 25 plyometric hops, walk back to starting point, repeat until passed out.

EDIT

Here's what I was looking for.

Merry Christmas to Me!

Ok, so some quickies, first.

After my nasty weight jump last week (I deserved it), my weight is steadily coming back down. I was 276 and change four days ago, and I was 273 and change today. Slowly but surely. I hope to eclipse my low of 272.8 very soon.

Anyway, Beck and I were able to do a little early Christmas shopping to get each other a few things we needed. You've all heard about her new shoes, but now it's my turn.

First, I got some jeans - 38's, baby. I think my official size is 39 as these are a little snug, but I'll be fitting into them well soon enough. Also got a 2XL shirt that I hope shrinks a little bit, as it's right on the line of too big. Yes, a 2XL shirt that is slightly too big. Mind-boggling.

Lastly, and most importantly, I got this:


Three positions so I can do just about everything, from benching to rowing to sit-ups. I only have about 120 pounds of weights and two dumbbells, but I'll do what I can with what I have. I'd like to move up to the nice Hex dumbbells, but those things cost more that I realized. For 50-pounders they were $30 per dumbbell.

The best news about this thing? It was at a local thrift store, and it cost a whopping $6.95.

Yes, $7.

Now, I start to build. I've been waiting for this for a long time.

This is gonna be fun.

I'll Be Back...

Eventually.

The 10th sucked, and I didn't feel like blogging. And today was crazy and non-stop. I'm hoping to have some blogging time tomorrow. Though, to be honest, you haven't missed much.

Later, gator.

GREAT News!

Mark Be Back

Words of Thanks

I just wanted to take a second to thank everybody for your comments over the last 48 hours or so. They ranged everywhere from supportive, to congratulatory, to brutally honest. Pretty much everything you'd expect from this group.

No matter what you said, it helped in some way, and I thank you.

This week is tough for me every year, but it seems worse this time around. I'm not sure what it is. My mom has been gone for almost three years, but it hurts almost as much today as it did the first time she wasn't here for her birthday. I've been all over the place emotionally this week. Angry, depressed, hyper, and several times I've just teared up and had to fight off the urge to bawl like a baby. And the whole "not hitting my goal" thing? Didn't help. But that one is on me.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know where I was right now. I hope it gets better next week. Like Stella and her groove, I need to get my focus back.

As for the crash dieting thing from yesterday, let me more fully explain.

In my mind, crash dieting is planning to eat whatever you want to eat one day because you can starve yourself the next, therefore there aren't any consequences. That is by NO MEANS what I'm doing. What I'm doing is more of a 24-hour detox than anything. If I screw up and eat tons of crap one day, I want to make sure I eat nothing but healthy stuff the next. So, if I screw up and have pizza, ice cream, burgers, Chinese, and candy corn on Tuesday, I'll be sure to have apples, oranges, carrots, salads, etc. on Wednesday. It's not a planned thing, and I'm still taking in calories. I'm not actually fasting.

I've done this maybe five times in the 11 months I've been doing this. Most of those times, I've done it in the middle of a clean eating week. I just do it to change things up in my diet. Yesterday, I was going to do it to give my body time to burn off all the other nasty carbs I'd eaten the night before. I'm still eating five times through the day, but instead of having a sandwich, or cereal, or grilled chicken, I'm having a couple of apples, a salad, or a plate of veggies.

I don't see how that's unhealthy for as often as I've done it, plus I know Vegans have pretty healthy lifestyles, and they eat that kind of food every day.

Everybody is entitled to their opinions, and that's cool by me. I just happen to disagree with those who feel I'm being unhealthy. Again, this would have been my fifth or sixth time doing this since last Thanksgiving, and I think the pic on the right speaks volumes about how healthy I'm being as I lose this weight. But I appreciate the concern.

By the way, I ended up getting too freaking hungry yesterday, and I ended up having a normal eating day. So the point ends up being somewhat moot, I suppose.

So, Beck and I are off to family free day at the Denver Zoo! Everybody have a great day.

EDIT

One more pic, then I'll stop. Maybe.

Ignore the goofy expression, and focus on the slimness that is the K-Dog. I'm not holding anything in, I'm just using good posture. It makes me think hitting 260 then focusing on building from there (hat tip, Marcol) could be an option.

F-

First, let me say that I'm ashamed of myself this morning. I let myself down, and I let those who have been rooting for me down, and I'm sorry.

On Saturday I went to run the stairs, but they were being worked on, so it wasn't going to happen. Instead, I went to a soccer field, and I ran 60-yard sprints, did 25 plyometric hops, walked back to the starting point, and repeated. I did eight of those, then ran back to my truck about 1/4-mile away, and up a hill. My legs are STILL sore. It was a great workout.

Then came Sunday.

I woke up, needing to have lost about .7 pounds to stay on pace to hit my 269.8 by Wednesday morning. Instead, after a day where I worked my ass off, and ate 110% clean, I put ON .6 pounds. Not a great start to the day.

About an hour later, I was playing with my daughter (she just turned one, and easily weighs 30 pounds), and I felt my back pop and go into spasms. Same thing I fought off last month, but not until after it had sidelined me for a couple of weeks. So, now I've put ON weight, and I can barely move, so working out is not an option.

So, I go through the day eating clean - again. Nothing but healthy foods all day long. So, I weigh myself in the evening to see how things are looking. I can usually tell how the next day's weigh-in will look based on my evening weigh-in, as my body follows pretty predictable trends.

I was 281.6.

And this was HOURS after I had eaten anything. I mildly freaked out, and waited for a little while. I went back in about 2 hours later, expecting to see a MUCH lower number (again, my body trends certain ways, and it's always a great indicator of where I'm heading), and I was still high - 279.0.

I lost it. I mean, I just lost it. My weight was awful, my back went out again, I ate clean and just packed on weight all day - and I'm not handling the whole missing my mom thing too well this week. It was like The Perfect Storm.

So, if my body was going to piss me off and screw with me, I was going to show it what happened when it did. So, I ate like I hadn't eaten in days. Cereal, PB sandwich, candy, chicken - if it was in my reach, I took it out.

I went to bed ashamed and disappointed in myself, and that's how I woke up. Well, ashamed and sick. But that's what I get.

I am so sorry to everybody counting on me to get to 269.8 this week. I never should have let this happen. I knew what I was doing, and I chose to screw myself over by adding to the problems instead of fighting through them. I'm better than that. Seriously, I owe you all an apology.

So, I'm not even weighing myself today. I can't handle what I'm sure to see. Instead, I'm going on a controlled fast. Nothing but fruits, veggies and water all day. My plan is to stay under 700 calories so my body can work all of that crap out of its system.

My back is still killing me, too. I was tossing and turning all night from the pain, and standing straight up is tough. But I lost 11 pounds in September only working out 4-5 times all month because of this exact problem. So, I can do it, again. I'd prefer to go run and do some push ups, but it'll have to wait.

I will hit 269.8, hopefully this week. I'll fight through this, because I have to. I can be nine pounds from my goal if I just focus and do what I need to do.

And for an early Christmas gift, Beck and I will be going out to look for a simple dumbbell bench and some dumbbells. We have room for a small set in our room. Then, I can work like I want to and starting adding some meat to this frame.

But, one step at a time. I need to get this crap out of my system and get my sorry butt to 269.8.

As Rob Suggested

I had to see...

Thanks to everybody for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

Show Off Saturday

Went to Target.
Checked out the clearance.
Found some size 38 shorts.
They were $4.
Haven't worn 38's since Beck and I were dating.
My wedding pants were 40's.
Pictures follow.
Whee!

Holy crap! I'm wearing 38's for the first time since August of 2001!


And here, it looks like I'm showing off my "you-know-what." But I'm just showing off my size 38's. And my calves. I have nice calves.


And this is me - wearing size 38's - looking like I'm content to be 272. But I'm not. Think how much better I'll look at 260!

And this ends today's edition of Show Off Saturday. Feel free to drop by Beck's blog for more showing off!

Not Much Going On

Hit a new low again today, so I'm still moving forward. I weighed 272.8, which means I have to lose exactly three pounds in four days to have a shot at 269.8 Wednesday morning. Feasible, but not absolutely likely at this point. And I'll only be aiming for a weigh in of 269.8, as my 5-day has no shot at getting to 269 by Wednesday. But I just want to see the number on the scale.

I also crossed the 85-pound lost mark on my 5-day. Pressing toward 90.

I took yesterday off from any cardio/strength work, but I'll double up today. I'm going to go run the stairs while Beck and the girls are chilling out, and I'll do several sets of push ups throughout the day.

As always, I'd prefer to go to my boxing class, hit the gym, get the boys together to play some football, etc. - but do the best with what you have, right?

I did fight off a MAJOR craving last night, which I'm happy about. Beck and I were both drooling at the thought of candy corn (one of our autumn weaknesses), so much so that Beck considered picking a bag up when she ran a quick errand to Wal Mart. But we both know we have goals we want to hit this month, and, for me especially, one slip up could screw me up for good right now.

So, we said no, ate 100% clean, and replaced candy corn with a big glass of ice water.

I ended up at 1,596 calories yesterday, which I'm pretty happy with. I'm going to have to hang pretty close to that through Tuesday to get me to that magic number. I'm considering one controlled fast day - maybe Monday. Not sure, though. Some days they work, others, they just make me really hungry. Guess it'll depend on my weigh in that day. If I'm at 271.4 or something Monday morning, I may give it a shot.

I'm getting excited about getting under 270. That will put me less than 10 pounds from my original goal weight. That's good and all, but it's becoming more and more obvious to me that 260 isn't going to get me where I need to be. Not by a long shot. I'm pretty sure I'm looking at another 30 pounds - which is shocking to me. At 239, I looked anorexic. I really did. It was pathetic. I'm sure I have more lean muscle mass on me these days, so maybe it won't be so bad. But I'm a little scared of getting that low. I've been told by my old DR. that my ideal weight is between 250 and 260 based on my body composition, bone density, etc. But there's no way 255 is my fit weight.

But I guess I'll figure all of that out in November. I still have about 12 pounds to go before I start reassessing.

Have a great weekend, all.

Here are my updated stats:

Weigh-In: 272.8 (New Low!)
5-Day: 274.04 (New Low!)
Lost since 9-1-07: 12.36
Lost per Day since 9-1-07: .36 pounds
Pounds to 269.8: 4.24

In Reach - I Think

Weigh-In: 273.2 (New Low!)
5-Day: 275.08 (New Low!)
Lost since 9-1-07: 11.32
Lost per Day since 9-1-07: .37 pounds
Pounds to 269.8: 5.28

I'm starting to think I have a shot at hitting my 269.8 by the 10th.

Beck and I too the football to the big soccer field by our place yesterday, and I made her work me pretty hard.

No, not like that.
Pervs.

I was running crossing routes, and she was leading me a little extra far so I'd have to kick it in to get to the ball. And when we were done playing catch, I ran the hill by the field several times. It's maybe a 40-foot hill on a 45-degree incline. Nothing major, but it made me work, and I'm a little sore today.

I also ate 100% clean yesterday, and drank a good deal of water.

I was rewarded with a new low on the scale, a 273.2. That's down 1.4 pounds from yesterday, though it only took .12 pounds off of my average.

Still, seeing a 273.2 means I'm within 3.4 pounds (going by weigh in) of getting where I need to be. I don't think the average will make it under 270 by next Wednesday, but it could get close.

Sorry if I come across a little "me-focused" on these last few blogs. It's just that there is nothing more important to me (weight-loss-wise) than hitting this goal. It's something I HAVE to do.

And now, I think I might be able to do it.

And Iran

I just had to share. I love that thing. Samberg is SAVING SNL.

Anyway, I hit the stairs yesterday. It's a flight of 92 steps, with about 4 10-15' breaks in between them on the way up. I ran them down, up, down, and up, then took a break. I ran them down again, then I jogged to the far side of the soccer field, sprinted back, then went up the stairs one more time.

So, a total of 552 steps, 100 yard sprint, and a 1/4-mile jog.

Not TOO bad, I guess. I was hoping to sweat my tail off, but Denver is just too nice. It was 60 with a cool breeze out of the mountains. Perfect.

Though I do wish I would have taken water. I was hurting.

As for my weight, it was down 1.2 pounds from yesterday, so I'll take it. Though I still have a long way to go to hit my 269.8 by next week.

My updated stats:

Weigh-In: 274.6
5-Day: 275.2
Lost since 9-1-07: 11.2
Lost per Day since 9-1-07: .34 pounds
Pounds to 269.8: 5.4

The Importance of 10-10

So, a couple of months ago when I laid out my "Better, Faster, Stronger" motto and goals, I put down that I wanted to be at 269.8 by Oct. 10. It wasn't on purpose that I chose that date, it just happened to be where the numbers landed.

Usually when I set a goal, it's important to me, no matter what. Do I always hit them? Nope. But I always strive to hit them. Well, this one is extra important to me, and if I don't hit it, I'm not sure how I'll react.

Oct. 10 would have been my mom's 60th birthday.

There are a few things that go into this being so important.

For one, most of the weight I gained was put on within a year of my mom passing away. I was roughly 280 when Beck and I got married. When our oldest was born two years later, I was 323. My mom passed away three weeks after Riley was born. By the end of that year, I was 365. So it took me two years to put on my first 40 pounds, and it took me less than 10 months to put on my next 40. Gee, think I may have turned to food after my mom died?

So, hitting a weight loss goal on the day we would have been celebrating her birthday makes it that much more important to me.

Second, and this one sounds odd, it's like I don't want to let that date down. 10-10 has been an important day for me since I was old enough to know what a birthday was. If I fail to hit a goal on a day that means so much to me, it's like I'm insulting the date, or, like I said, letting it down. I don't want to do that. I know. That sounds weird.

And of course, it's my mom's birthday, so I obviously want to do something "in her memory," or "for her." I know she's gone, but I also know she'd want me to be healthy and happy. So I think of it kind of like it would have been a nice gift for her.

I don't know. I feel like I'm rambling, and this blog is actually tough to write. Anytime I'm open about losing my mom, it's tough. She was stolen from us for NO good reason. No good came from watching her suffer for all those years. No good came from her having early onset Alzheimer's. Nothing. When I think about it, I get equal parts sad and angry. What happened to her, and in turn, to our family, wasn't right. It wasn't fair.

But it's over now, and I need to move on the best I can.

Anyway, so I want to hit 269.8 on the scale at least once in the next eight days. I don't feel too good about it, as my weight has leveled off in the lower 276's and upper 275's the last few days. But I'm going to give it all I can. I'll drive over to the steps today. I'll eat 100% clean today - and for the next 8 days.

If I'm not at 269.8 next week, the blame won't be able to fall on my effort.

So, let's see what I can do, shall we?

Purchasing an Accomplishment & It's the Terrorists Fault

No weigh-in, yet. Hoping there's still some bathroom activity to come. You're welcome for the mental image.

So, Beck and I took the kids out to run a few errands yesterday, and we ended up at the local Dick's Sporting Goods. I have a serious Under Armor fascination, so I always make sure to go look at what I hope to someday be able to fit into.

I came across a shirt very similar to the one pictured above, and it was an XXL. I picked it up and looked at it, and I could tell it was still too body-hugging for a fella of my size. Still, I decided to try it on standing there on the sales floor. I kept my undershirt on while I had the UA shirt on, so it felt a little lumpy, but damn if the thing didn't fit! Not only did it fit, but the look on Beck's face told me that it looked pretty good. So, I made my way to the closest mirror and took a look.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't claim to look like Vernon Davis under that shirt, but what I saw DID surprise me. I looked good. I don't think I look good in ANYTHING that tight. But yesterday? I loved what I saw in that mirror. It hugged my chest and shoulders so well that it made me look like I HAD a chest. And while it was a little snug around my midsection, that shirt showed me that my midsection ain't what it used to be.

See, when I started this last year, one of my unspoken goals was to be able to wear some UnderArmor clothing, and have it look like I deserved to wear it. So, in a way, I accomplished a goal yesterday. I can't tell you how good I felt.

I didn't buy the shirt, as I could not justify spending $35 on a shirt I couldn't really wear anyplace besides a workout, but I REALLY wanted to. I don't think I've ever spent that much on a shirt before. It's possible I never will. But that was as close as I'd ever come before. Like the title of the blog says, it would have been like purchasing an accomplishment.

In other news...

I've decided that running stairs is going to be huge for me. It'll be somewhat low-impact on my surgery foot, great cardio work, and it will improve my fast-twitch fibers in my lower body. Plus, it'll give me a nice booty. Well, nice-ER. So, I got up yesterday, got dressed, and headed to our local high school football stadium. I was visualizing myself running the stairs, working up a sweat, stopping between runs to do some push ups - I was getting pumped.

So, I pull in and find the stadium parking lot gated shut. So I parked and walked over to the stadium - which was also freaking locked.

Not to be so easily defeated, I got in the Durango and headed to the other local high school, about 10 miles down the road.

Guess what?

Locked up.

When I was 19, I lived in Ann Arbor - about 10 minutes from Michigan Stadium. Back then, I used to go up there twice a week to run the steps. Michigan Stadium. And now I can't get into Thornton High?

It's very possible that the Big House is no longer open to runners, I suppose. But there used to be 15-20 of us in there running at the same time. Players would be on the field working out, media members were sitting in the stands eating lunch...Michigan Stadium.

But I can't find any stairs to run because everything is locked up.

I blame terrorists.