So, a couple of months ago when I laid out my "Better, Faster, Stronger" motto and goals, I put down that I wanted to be at 269.8 by Oct. 10. It wasn't on purpose that I chose that date, it just happened to be where the numbers landed.
Usually when I set a goal, it's important to me, no matter what. Do I always hit them? Nope. But I always strive to hit them. Well, this one is extra important to me, and if I don't hit it, I'm not sure how I'll react.
Oct. 10 would have been my mom's 60th birthday.
There are a few things that go into this being so important.
For one, most of the weight I gained was put on within a year of my mom passing away. I was roughly 280 when Beck and I got married. When our oldest was born two years later, I was 323. My mom passed away three weeks after Riley was born. By the end of that year, I was 365. So it took me two years to put on my first 40 pounds, and it took me less than 10 months to put on my next 40. Gee, think I may have turned to food after my mom died?
So, hitting a weight loss goal on the day we would have been celebrating her birthday makes it that much more important to me.
Second, and this one sounds odd, it's like I don't want to let that date down. 10-10 has been an important day for me since I was old enough to know what a birthday was. If I fail to hit a goal on a day that means so much to me, it's like I'm insulting the date, or, like I said, letting it down. I don't want to do that. I know. That sounds weird.
And of course, it's my mom's birthday, so I obviously want to do something "in her memory," or "for her." I know she's gone, but I also know she'd want me to be healthy and happy. So I think of it kind of like it would have been a nice gift for her.
I don't know. I feel like I'm rambling, and this blog is actually tough to write. Anytime I'm open about losing my mom, it's tough. She was stolen from us for NO good reason. No good came from watching her suffer for all those years. No good came from her having early onset Alzheimer's. Nothing. When I think about it, I get equal parts sad and angry. What happened to her, and in turn, to our family, wasn't right. It wasn't fair.
But it's over now, and I need to move on the best I can.
Anyway, so I want to hit 269.8 on the scale at least once in the next eight days. I don't feel too good about it, as my weight has leveled off in the lower 276's and upper 275's the last few days. But I'm going to give it all I can. I'll drive over to the steps today. I'll eat 100% clean today - and for the next 8 days.
If I'm not at 269.8 next week, the blame won't be able to fall on my effort.
So, let's see what I can do, shall we?
10.02.2007
The Importance of 10-10
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6 comments:
Only one way to get there, man. That's just to suck it up, do 110% of what you can, and just rock it out.
And if you fall short, that's OK too. But as you said, let it be anything BUT a lack of effort. That'll sit on you for sure.
Your mom would be proud of what you're doing and what you've accomplished regardless of whether you hit that date or not.
Give it all you got cause thats all you can do. I am sure you mom would be honored and proud of you and the man you are.
I can now see the importance of 10-10 for you. Like everyone else has said, do what you can - give it all out 100% effort and that will make you proud and your mom. Nice way to honor her memory man.
I lost my father almost ten years ago, and I know how that felt. You're not totally right when you say nothing good came from it though. If you can rock it out these next eight days, you can get something good out of it. Granted it won't be enough, but take what you can get and use it. I don't think she would mind.
I definitely think your mom would be proud of you, and in 100% support of your goals. We'll be rooting you on!
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