Quick Update

Down 3 pounds my first week. Can and will do better, as long as Riley's b-day party and Thanksgiving (within 5 days of each other) don't derail me.

Gonna be a challenging week.

Ugh.

This sounds familiar, huh:

"Got lazy. Let myself go. A lot of work to make up."

I'm pushing HARD through the end of the year, and I'm doing with true purpose, this time. Check this page out for more info, and if you can join us, please do. We need all the help we can get!

Getting Fit for the Fight

Checking in on a Sunday Morning

About to walk out the door but wanted to let people know that I'm still here, and fighting. I made some bad choices about 2 weeks ago, and I've been fighting back down since then. I weighed in this morning, and I hit a new low of 283.8.

I am now down 23.4 pounds since May 26, 3.8 pounds from by August weight loss goal, 13.2 pounds from the lowest weight I hit during my initial transformation, and a still-depressing 33.8 pounds from my final goal of 250.0.

Still need to improve in many areas (self-control, making myself work out, focus), but I'm thrilled to be where I am, noting I had temporarily hit 312 in early May.

I'll try to do better keeping up with the blogs, too. Sorry for not commenting like I should. I'll get better.

Have a great day, all.

Quick Update

Nobody blogging anymore? Come on, peeps. Get it together, and let's get out here and keep everybody updated!

As for me, I had a bad week or so. Jumped back up to 294 and change for a couple days, as we had some bad dinners, and followed them with bad snacks.

Long story short, I have worked my way back down to a new low - 285.6. Very much on pace to hit my 8.31 goal, so that's good. I'm also exactly 15 pounds from my lowest point during my first run at this a couple of years ago. Looking forward to getting into those 260's this time.

Have a great weekend, all.

Goal!

Keep it short and sweet today...NAILED my goal for July. KILLED it. It had NO CHANCE.

Today's Weight: 286.4
Yesterday's Weight: 288.2
Change: -1.8
Total Weight Lost: 20.8
Pounds to Goal C: 6.4

> I hit my goal 14 days early
> I crossed the 20-lb lost mark
> I'm now 6.4 pounds from my AUGUST 31 goal

I'd like to lose another 2.4 pounds this month, which I think I should be able to pull off. Going into August four pounds from my goal would be a nice feeling.

Everybody have a great weekend!

Don't Panic, it's Just a Plateau

My last five weigh-ins:

288.2
288.2
289.8
288.0
288.2

My body likes 288. Too bad it doesn't have final say in things.

Yesterday got away form me pretty fast, as I got busy, and never recovered. So, today I'll try again with the walk/exercise thing. Maybe tomorrow will be the 287 day. Here's hoping.

Today's Weight: 288.2
Yesterday's Weight: 288
Change: +0.2
Total Weight Lost: 19
Pounds to Goal B: 1.2

When Will I Hit 287?

Today's Weight: 288.0
Yesterday's Weight: 289.8
Change: -1.8
Total Weight Lost: 19.2
Pounds to Goal B: 1

I am one pound away from hitting my goal, which I hoped to hit by 7.31. I see no reason I can't nail that tomorrow. I'm going to do everything in my power to kill it, actually. Take the kids for a walk, do some push ups, hit the perfect pull up, and hopefully play basketball again tonight.

I've played the last two nights, actually. Nothing major, just some playful stuff with my brother and nieces, and even a little with Beck last night.

If I can do all those things, and make sure my diet is spot-on today, I'll expect to see a 287 - or under - tomorrow morning at 8:30.

And that would rock.

Ka-Pow!

Last night was the worst I've eaten in WEEKS. Bad carbs, junk food...here's the menu:

Two beef hot dogs on white buns
1.5 cups of baked beans
8 Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies

In other words, it's not that bad. There are cookies left, and there are two hot dogs left. I ate what I wanted, then stopped. It's all about moderation.

In exchange for eating wisely, my weight stayed the same, keeping me at my newest low - 288.2. So, I'm still well on pace to hit 287 by Saturday morning, roughly two weeks before my goal date.

Today's Weight: 288.2
Yesterday's Weight: 288.2
Change: 0
Total Weight Lost: 19.0
Pounds to Goal B: 1.2

Sunday Check-In

Accidentally ate way too little yesterday. I think I topped off at around 800 calories. By the time things slowed down and I could eat dinner, it was almost midnight, so I decided to wait for breakfast.

Anyway, here's the numbers:

Today's Weight: 288.2
Yesterday's Weight: 289.6
Change: -1.4
Total Weight Lost: 19.0
Pounds to Goal B: 1.2

So, I have 19 days to lose 1.2 pounds. I think I can handle that. In fact, I think I'm going to unofficially change my goal for 7.31 to 284 pounds. We'll see how that goes.

Stats

See below for more meat than this...

Today's Weight: 289.6
Yesterday's Weight: 289.2
Change: +.4
Total Weight Lost: 17.6
Pounds to Goal B: 2.6

Two days in a row under 290 makes me happy. I want to hit my goal of 287.0 by a week from this morning. That brings me in two weeks early.

Weight Loss Visualized

Today's weigh-in is pending. I'm assuming I'll be right around 290. Just wanted to post this to show the benefit of tracking your weight loss and 5-day average. Even though your body may fluctuate, if you keep doing what needs to be done, it'll all even out.

Have a great weekend!

That's the Way (uh-huh, uh-huh) I Like it.

Today's Weight: 289.2
Yesterday's Weight: 291.0
Change: -1.8
Total Weight Lost: 18
Pounds to Goal B: 2.2

It's the power of diet that makes this happen. I haven't eaten after 9 in weeks. Haven't had a real cheat meal in weeks. Haven't had any real sweets (candy, donuts, cake, etc.) in weeks. I've been eating 98% perfect since early June, and that's why I'm now down 18 pounds.

I'm a little more active, sure. But I haven't really been working out, in the traditional sense of the words. This is a diet-induced weight loss.

I'm now just 2.2 pounds away from my July goal of 287.0. I doubt I'll hit it in the next week, as my body is now due for a move in the wrong direction that will last for a few days. But should my body decide not to fluctuate, it's realistic that I'd hit my goal in a week or less.

The lesson here is to control...maybe even "master" your diet. One bad meal can set you back 3-4 days, no matter how much exercise you're getting. Get that under control, and you can lose the weight you need.

Good way to go into the weekend...

Two Hours From Now...

I could be under 291.

As my body likes to do, it took a big drop after a recent gain. My early-morning weight was 291.2 or 291.4. I couldn't get it to read the same thing twice. Either way, assuming my body continues to adjust at it's average of .8 down in the next two hours, it would put me somewhere in the mid 290 range.

My body frustrates the tar out of me, sometimes. I'll hit a new low, then jump up two pounds. It'll take me two days to drop that, and on the third day, I'll drop another two pounds. So, I end up at the same weight, no matter what. It just takes me an extra 2-3 days to get there.

I kept trying to tell myself that the scale was wrong, since I was upper 293s yesterday. But then I remember that I logged a 292.6 on Monday, so I'm on a pace of two pounds this week.

It all evens out.

Official weigh-in coming at 8:30 MST.

Fingers crossed.

**EDIT**
Today's Weight: 291.0
Yesterday's Weight: 293.8
Change: -2.8
Total Weight Lost: 16.2
Pounds to Goal B: 4.0

Not Gonna Like This

My non-official weight at 7am: 294.8

My weights from 7 to 8:30 haven't been changing much in recent mornings, which means I'm looking at an ugly weigh-in. I know why it's here, but it's still annoying: Carbs and Sodium. Had the turkey brats with a cup-ish of bbq baked beans.

Now, I was under my 2,400 max by a good 400 calories, but with all the sodium and carbs in dinner, it can override any calorie win you have.

So, we'll see what 8:30 brings. I'm guessing 294, which puts me back where I was 3-4 days ago. It'll come off fast, but it doesn't make it enjoyable.

***EDIT***
Today's Weight: 293.8
Yesterday's Weight: 292.8
Change: +1.0
Total Weight Lost: 13.4
Pounds to Goal B: 6.8

The good news is that my 5-day average still dropped, albeit barely. I just need to go low-carb/high-water today, find something active to do, and see that tomorrow brings.

Sigh.

Quickie

Today's Weight: 292.8
Yesterday's Weight: 292.6
Change: +.2
Total Weight Lost: 14.4
Pounds to Goal B: 5.8

Expected the weight to go up a little, as that's just what my body does. I'll rarely have consecutive new lows. I can handle going .2 in the wrong direction, as long as it doesn't become a trend.

Was informed last night that I could be helping unload 4-5 tons of rocks, and 2 tons of sand this weekend. Fine by me. It was a great workout.

Carry on...

Rock On

Today's Weight: 292.6
Last Recorded Weight: 294.2
Change: -1.6
Total Weight Lost: 14.6
Pounds to Goal B: 5.6

Yesterday might have been my most effective and tiring workout ever. Yes, ever.

My brother is landscaping his back yard. Part of the process includes laying some rock around a sidewalk.

Day one consisted of 2.14 tons of rock, packed nicely in his truck bed. Our job was to manually unload the rocks from the truck to the wheel barrow, then from the wheel barrow to the back yard. It was about 2.5 hours of digging, lifting, twisting, pulling, squatting...you get the picture. I was sore, wasted, fatigued...thrilled.

Possible we'll do this 3-4 more times this summer, maybe even again tonight.

Anyway, I'm only 5.6 pounds from my goal of 287 by 7.31. I want to kill that. I'd love to be 3-4 pounds past that by then, but we'll see. An unofficial goal is to see a 290 by Friday, which seems feasible, but you never know.

Alright, hope everybody had a great 4th!

My Bad

Quickly:

We celebrated an early Friday with some beverages and snacks. Nothing awful, but more than we needed, and we did it after 10pm. Becky made out pretty well, but I put on a pound. Not overly concerned with it, as it was planned, and it's a pound...as long as I can get it back off tomorrow, and be back on my way by Monday morning.

Beck's off today, and she has no side work, so we'll take the kids to the field and play some soccer, or do something else active.

Everybody have a great 4th, and remember why we celebrate it!

Today's Weight: 294.2
Yesterday's Weight: 293.2
Change: +1.0
Total Weight Lost: 13
Pounds to Goal B: 7.2

Not Getting Too Excited

Today's Weight: 293.2
Yesterday's Weight: 295.0
Change: -1.8
Total Weight Lost: 14
Pounds to Goal B: 6.2

Good news: Took 1.8 pounds off from yesterday. Just ate clean, and made sure to stay active around the house.
Bad news: My body likes to screw with me. I'm bracing for a fluctuation or a plateau any day now. Maybe not this time around, but history says it'll happen.

Still, as of right now, I'm only 6.2 pounds from my goal, and I have 28 days to get there. So, that means tomorrow is pizza and ice cream, since I have time to make it up!

Not really. Not taking any chances this time around. I'd like to destroy this goal. That's my...goal.

The Great Eight

Today's Weight: 295.0
Yesterday's Weight: 295.6
Change: -.6
Total Weight Lost: 12.2
Pounds to Goal B: 8

Alright, so it's an even eight. On July 31st, I need to have lost exactly eight pounds from what I weigh on July 1st.

Won't be easy, given my body's love of fluctuations, but I think that eight in 29 days is doable.

Also worth noting that I topped the 12 pounds lost point this morning, and this is my lowest confirmed weight since November of 2008.

More later, if needed.

Back On Track

Got more active the last 48 hours, ate 100% clean yesterday, drank more water, and was nicely rewarded with my second 295.6 - tying my lowest number on v2.0 of this weight loss thing.

So, tomorrow is July 1. Thirty days from tomorrow I need to see a 287.0 on my scale. So, depending on what it reads tomorrow, I need to be down 8.6 pounds in 30 days. My goal is to see at least a 294.8 tomorrow. Knowing that I have less than 8 pounds to lose in a month could be the psychological boost I need to push me through the rough days.

And my eating is going to need to be be 99% spotless, too. I'm down 11+ pounds now, but it's taken me an extra week to get there because of a couple of bad meal choices. One bad day can add 3-4 to your weight-loss journey. Not worth it.

Alright, that's all for today. Fingers crossed for something under 295 tomorrow.

Today's Weight: 295.6
Yesterday's Weight: 297.6
Change: -2.0
Total Weight Lost: 11.6
Pounds to Goal B: 8.6

Bleh.

Today's Weight: 297.6
Last Recorded Weight: 297.6
Change: 0.0
Total Weight Lost: 9.6
Pounds to Goal B: 10.6

Not much to say. Weight went up over the weekend, even though my eating wasn't really out of line. It wasn't GREAT eating, but it was kept in check at all times. I'm thinking my 295.6 from last week was a fluke.

So, time to take it up a notch. Wednesday is July 1, and I want to be in the low 295s by then. That would leave me with roughly 8 pounds to lose in July. Better yet would be being under 295, but I won't push it.

Also, WOW:



Carry on...

Yeah, what the cat said

So, let's recap:

Yesterday's Weight: 295.6
Yesterday's Calories: Roughly 1,800
Yesterday's Water Intake: Average

Today's Weight: 297.6

WTF, is right.

Dinner was carb heavy, and I get that. BBQ chicken sandwiches with maybe a cup of brown rice. I ate a BIG dinner because I'd only had about 500 calories going into dinner. And I wasn't feeling great, so I did pretty much nothing active.

Still, TWO FULL POUNDS UP?

Today, I'll be shocked and confused, but I'll eat clean, try to do something active, and see what happens tomorrow. If it's still an ugly weight, I'll upgrade "shocked" to "angered."

Today's Weight: 297.6
Yesterday's Weight: 295.6
Change: +2.0
Total Weight Lost: 9.6
Pounds to Goal B: 10.6

Update...

Not very talkative today, so just the stats. Getting closer...

Today's Weight: 295.6
Yesterday's Weight: 297.8
Change: -2.2
Total Weight Lost: 11.6
Pounds to Goal B: 8.6

Cut it Out

Today's Weight: 297.8
Yesterday's Weight: 297.2
Change: +.6
Total Weight Lost: 9.4
Pounds to Goal B: 10.8

Simply put, I over-carbed, snuck a couple of cookies, and ate after 9. I brought it on myself.

But I need to get a hold of this NOW so it doesn't turn into a trend. Up 1.2 pounds in two days isn't good.

296s tomorrow.

No Damage Done

Well, I splurged a little for Father's Day weekend. Had a piece of leftover birthday cake, had Chinese for Dad's Day, ate after 9pm one night - animal crackers are awesome - and I got up today to see a weight I can deal with: 297.2. Only .6 pounds up from my lowest of this round of loss.

So, had some fun, enjoyed some food, and came out of it unscathed. Now I focus on the goal of hitting 287 by the end of next month.

I feel good about the chances, but I need to really buckle down and stay on top of it. I missed Goal A by a day, and I want to beat Goal B by a day to make up for it.

Today's Weight: 297.2
Yesterday's Weight: 298.4
Change: -1.2
Total Weight Lost: 10
Pounds to Goal B: 10.2

Quickly

Today's Weight: 296.6
Yesterday's Weight: 297.2
Change: -.6
Total Weight Lost: 10.6
Pounds to Goal B: 9.6

The poop juice didn't work, so I may try something else today. This bloated and crampy feeling has gotsta go. Other than that, another decent drop, and I am well on my way to Goal B.

Also, tried on my old size 38 jeans today (I wear 40). Been a while (January?) since I could get into them. Still a little snug, but they buttoned. I'd guess by 292 they'll be good to go.

Have a great weekend.

Getting There

If you haven't already, please read the 3-4 posts below this one to get an idea of where I am, etc.

Today's Weight: 297.2
Yesterday's Weight: 297.4
Change: -.2
Total Weight Lost: 10
Pounds to Goal B: 10.2

My "first" ten pounds are down, leaving me with 10.2 to go by the end of July. Not a ton to report, otherwise. Very modest loss today, but not every day can bring a 1-pound drop. And anything is better than up, so no complaints here.

Well, ONE complaint. I'll be drinking a bottle of magnesium citrate tonight. I won't get into what that does, but feel free to google it if you're curious. We'll just say that it's been five days, and it's getting a little frustrating/annoying/painful. Curious to see how it impacts my weight, assuming it works.

OK, that's all. Chime in and say hey if anybody's out there. It's good to be back!

Something else I'm working on...

Please read the post below this...

Just wanted to share something else I'm working on:

The Sharon Antcliff Foundation

Nice...

*EDIT*
Today's Weight: 297.4
Yesterday's Weight: 299.2
Change: -1.8
Total Weight Lost: 9.8
Pounds to Goal B: 10.4

My early-morning weigh-in was 297.8. I'll do it again at 8:30 and see where I sit. But even if it doesn't budge, I'll be thrilled. Why is that?

Well, yesterday was my birthday. Dinner was pizza, dessert was cake. The pizza was covered in six kinds of meat. The cake was covered in peanut butter, chocolate frosting, and mini peanut butter cups.

What a great way to derail a diet...

Unless you're ready for it.

I ate clean all day, and made sure I left some room, calorie-wise. I had two pieces of pizza (well below my average), and one piece of cake. I never even went near the leftovers.

So, there's your proof that you can have your cake, eat it, too...and still lose weight. It's all about self-control. If you have it, you can do this.

I have it.

**EDIT V2.0**

Starting Weight: 366
Lowest Weight: 270.2
Highest Bounce-Back Weight: 315.6
Current Weight: 297.4

Need to stay on top of it this time.

Missed it by THAT Much

Today's Weight: 299.2
Yesterday's Weight: 303.0
Change: -3.8 (carbs and water weight, but I'll take it)
Total Weight Lost: 8.0
Pounds to Goal B: 12.2

Hoping for a Moral Victory

Weigh in is still about an hour away, so I don't know how close or far I am from my goal of 297.2 this morning. My gut says I'll probably be around 300.0.

While I've just kind of assumed I won't be anywhere near the goal weight, I am still hoping that I can somehow come in under 300. If I can do that, I'll consider it a small win...and then I'll go after Goal B: 287.0 by July 31.

I'll be back at 8:30 or so with the update...

Not Much to Say

Today's Weight: 303.0
Last Recor0ded Weight: 303.8
Change: -0.8
Total Weight Lost: 4.2
Pounds to Goal A: 5.8

So, unless I can lose 5.8 pounds tomorrow, my goal is way screwed. Which REALLY pisses me off, noting that I was 299.8 a week ago.

Not happy.

I Have Underestimated the Power of the Dark Side

And by "Dark Side," I mean dieting while on vacation.

Here's the Cliff's Notes version:

First two days at the lake were rainy and cold, so we spent 90% of our time huddling in our tents to stay warm. Food was pretty normal: sandwiches, chicken breasts, zone bars. But our activity level was non-existent. I did get up those first two mornings and took the dog for a short walk, and then did a couple sets of push ups. "A" for effort.

Last two days were MUCH nicer. Hot and sunny. Got out on the boat, took the jet ski for some rides, sat out in the sun to get tan. Sounds great until you realize that, essentially, I was still just sitting around and eating. Quality of food worsened as the week went on, too. First two days was turkey burgers and grilled chicken. Last two were chili, burritos, Fritos, and candy bars. And maybe some beverages of the adult nature that increased my desire to eat more of the above-listed foods.

Still, through it all, I don't think I can look back and see a point where I took the proverbial truck and drove it off of a cliff. Wasn't perfect, but I feel I did enough to warrant a decent weigh-in this morning. Even when my foods weren't great, I was keeping things in check...I thought.

Yeah...not so much. At 6:30, I weighed 304.6. That's 4.8 pounds up from Tuesday morning. My normal weigh in time is 8:30, so I'm still about an hour away from that. Maybe something crazy happens where my body adjusts back down, but I highly doubt it.

What this means is that, in reality, hitting my goal of 297.2 by Wednesday morning is going to be nearly impossible. As of right now, I'd need to drop 7.4 pounds in 48 hours. That's really depressing, noting that I was at 299.8 less than a week ago.

So, we'll see what 8:30 brings, and we'll go from there. I'm sure a lot of this is water weight and carb weight, so I'll be eating VERY clean the next two days, and seeing if that makes a difference.

Needless to say, I'm not real happy right now.

EDIT:
Today's Weight: 303.8
Last Recor0ded Weight: 299.8
Change: +4.0
Total Weight Lost: 3.4
Pounds to Goal A: 6.6

Yeah, so I need to lose 6.6 pounds in 48 hours to hit my goal. Riiiiiiight.

Heck-to-the-Yeah

My official goal is 297.2 by a week from tomorrow, meaning I have 8 days to lose 2.6 pounds. Not too worried about that. In fact, I plan on coming back from camping at that weight or under. We'll see on Monday.

My un-official goal was to be 300 or under by the time we left tomorrow morning, and I am. Feeling pretty good about the situation right now, but I still have a LONG way to go. As a reminder to myself, and to those still reading, I started out at 366, made my way to 270, and was recently back as high as 312.

This time, the train don't stop til she gets to 250.

Today's Weight: 299.8
Yesterday's Weight: 300.6
Change: -0.8
Total Weight Lost: 7.4
Pounds to Goal A: 2.6

Missed it by THAT Much

Today's Weight: 300.6
Yesterday's Weight: 302.0
Change: -1.4
Total Weight Lost: 6.6
Pounds to Goal A: 3.4

So what am I doing? How have I dropped almost 7 pounds in less than two weeks? Pretty simple, really. I've just clamped down on my diet, and made myself get more active, in general. My diet has been just about spotless since I started this (save for a few cupcakes), and I've done SOMETHING active just about every day.

What qualifies as active? Taking a walk with my daughters, cleaning the house, dancing (with my daughters, not in public), doing laundry...nothing major. I'm just forcing myself to do things I don't always do, and I'm getting my heart rate up in the process.

But the diet is the key, here. I haven't been counting, but I know enough about what I eat to easily guesstimate that I haven't topped 2,200 - 2,400 in the last 8 days or so. And they've been clean calories. The worst thing I've eaten in the last 13 days was some potato salad.

It's small steps. You can't drop to your ideal weight in 10 days...unless you only want to lose 5 pounds, I guess. Little changes combine to yield big results.

Target In Sight

Today's Weight: 302.0
Yesterday's Weight: 303.0
Change: -1.0
Total Weight Lost: 5.2
Pounds to Goal A: 4.8

Looking GREAT to hit 297.2 by the 17th. In fact, I'd like to KILL that number. With going camping this week (lots of water sports, walks, heat), I think it's possible.

Anyway, I gotta say that it is great to be back. This, sadly, is the lightest I've been in months, and I'm enjoying it.

Still moving...

Today's Weight: 303.0
Yesterday's Weight: 303.6
Change: -0.6
Total Weight Lost: 4.2
Pounds to Goal A: 5.8

Not sure if I can do 300.0 by Wednesday morning when we go camping, but I'm going to stay extra active and eat extra clean for the next 72 hours to see. When we go camping it's hikes, jet skiing, sweating in the sun...so I think I'll come back in a good position to go after 297 by the 17th.

But we shall see...

Peace out.

Breakthrough!

Today's Weigh In: 303.6

Today's Weight: 303.6
Yesterday's Weight: 305.8
Change: -2.2
Total Weight Lost: 3.6
Pounds to Goal A: 6.4

So, I have to lose 6 pounds in 12 days? That ain't gonna be easy. I just need to be as active as I can, and eat CLEAN, then we'll see what happens. The back pain going away would help, too.

Short and sweet today...

Full Hover Mode

My last five weigh-ins:

305.6
305.2
305.2
306.2
305.8

Now, I haven't been as active as I'd like. Schedule, kids, work efforts, etc. I know...all excuses, and I need to just deal with them. Also, food hasn't been awesome. It's been above average, but there was a birthday mixed in there, and some cupcakes and potato salad were eaten. For two days.

And now I'm dealing with some of that back pain you all got to read so much about in the olden days of the blog.

But the difference is, this time, I wish I could be doing more and better. In the last few months, I didn't care - at all.

So today I'll take the kids for a walk, and depending on how things go tonight when Becky gets home, and if my back is alright, I may try to drop and do some pushups and situps.

Though it doesn't look good now, I'd still like to see 297 in the next 13 days. I suppose it's still possible.

Oops.

People, check your nutritional info before you eat something.

Long story short, we normally eat turkey sausages as hot dogs, and I have that caloric info memorized. But, I didn't realize we got a different type of sausage this time, and I took out three without blinking. They were double the calories and sodium, and it screwed me up big time.

So, I took out 1,200 calories JUST for dinner. Needless to say, that put me WAY over for the day. I had a bowl of cereal for desert because I thought I had the extra calories, but I actually didn't. Instead of 2,400 calories, I was closer to 3,500.

Which brings us to this bit of ugliness:

Today's Weight: 308.2
Yesterday's Weight: 305.2
Change: +3.0
Total Weight Lost: -1
Pounds to Goal A: 11

So now I've GAINED a pound on my quest to lose 10 by 6-17. I'm clean today, getting some movement and activity in, and drinking lots of water, so I'm sure most of that wull come back off quickly, but getting to 297 in 19 days? Might be tough, now.

Checking In

Today's Weight: 305.8
Yesterday's Weight: 306.2
Change: -0.4
Total Weight Lost: 1.4
Pounds to Goal A: 8.6

Ate most of a P'Zone yesterday, which was bad. Luckily, it didn't kill me calorie-wise. I was down .4, which is better that up any day.

Not much else to report...just another day.

Just a Quick Post

Today's Weight: 306.2
Yesterday's Weight: 307.2
Change: -1.0
Total Weight Lost: 1.0
Pounds to Goal A: 9

Nice day yesterday. Very solid eating - 100% clean. Nice breakdown of P/F/C. Worked out...push ups, sit ups, band curls, knee raises.

Not bad for Day One.

Screw This

You know, I could spend the time coming up with all sorts of excuses as to where I've been, why I switched blogs, why I'm still over 300...but all that matters is that I gotsta stop it all.

Long story short, I need to get back to what I know works, and there's no magic formula for it. Eat better, eat less, get active - lose weight. I've done it before. A few times.

So, I'm back at Square One, in more ways than one.

No fancy visualizations, no photoshops, no crazy goals and dreams...just losing weight.

Here's my return to accountability. My 33rd birthday is in 22 days, and I have some things I need to do by then. For one, I need to get out of the 300s for good. It's gotta stop, and it stops here.

Today's Weight: 307.2
Yesterday's Weight: NA
Change: NA
Pounds to Goal A: 10

Fighting on a Monday

Had a PB sandwich on wheat last night at 10, and decided it would be my last food until breakfast on Tuesday morning. So, it's a roughly 36-hour fast (I'm allowed 1 cup of milk, and 1 cup of juice), and I'm doing it for two reasons.

1. To prove to myself that I'M in control, not my hunger/urges. I've been giving in to my body's wants (from a food standpoint) too much over the last few weeks. Time it realized who's in charge.

2. Just to clean things out. I don't think 36 hours is going to hurt, and by the time I flush all of the left-over crap outta me (lots of water today, too), I should feel much better, and work up some momentum.

Also, it's 36 degrees outside, with a light mist, and a little bit of wind. We're going to get dressed and go toss the football while the girls sleep. No excuses this time around. Active every day.

Have a good one, guys.

A New Post Coming...

Either later today or early tomorrow. Think about what you'd do if you had 100 days to do it. What goals would you want to hit? How determined could you be? How dedicated would you be?

More later...

YES!!!!!

Whew. For a second there, I thought my weight might change, but thankfully, it's still right where it's been the last 2 days - 285.8.

Now, here's what bugs me to no end about the weight loss process: I'm 99% perfect in all areas for three days, and I can't lose an ounce. But you and I both know that if I had a Wendy's Classic Double with fries, I'd jump up 2-3 pounds instantly.

Whatever.

Today I'm keeping my carbs WAY low. I'm eating as few as possible in hopes that my body just has some excess carbs in there that it needs to burn off. Not sure what else to do besides generally continuing to move forward the best I can.

Sometimes life gets in the way, and your body might not always cooperate, but you make the choice to keep going - not your body. Eventually, it will have no choice but to cooperate. But you can't let it keep you from moving forward.

Always move forward.

Well, THAT sucked

Back at freaking 285.8 this morning, which BLOWS, and ANGERS ME.

But what am I going to do?

Did I have the perfect week? Not really, no. My eating was solid, but not great. My activity level was very good, but again, not great. I did well, but I could have done better.

So, Beck and I are starting an actual football training regimen today. It will work on our quickness, agility, and stamina, not to mention our football skills. We'll do it an hour a day, four days per week. It'll consist of some items like this:



Now, as for not coming anywhere close to my goal of 282.X this week? I'm not thrilled about it, but I'm not done. So, here's my new goal...

281.8 by next Friday morning.

I need to ensure that I eat 95% clean, and stick to our workout schedule this week.

Doable.

Right?

Even More Frustration

Yesterday consisted of about 2,000 calories, an hour in the backyard throwing (and chasing down) the frisbee, and no food after dinner at 5:30pm.

This morning has consisted of a weigh-in of 285.8, a FULL POUND UP FROM YESTERDAY.

Now, here's where I keep telling myself that this can't last forever, and that I need to just keep doing what I know I'm supposed to do.

But what I WANT to do is yell, scream, and say bad words.

My goal of hitting 282.X tomorrow is pretty much shot, and I'm up 1.2 pounds from this time last week.

Kinda peeved today.

A LITTLE Frustration

Purposely had a LOW calorie day yesterday - roughly 1,000.
Had a good football-based workout.
Drank more water.
Had no snacks.

Lost .2 pounds - 284.8.

The 282.X by Friday isn't looking good at this point. All I can do is try.

Checking In

Yesterday was one of those "good but not great" days. Didn't eat 100% clean, but didn't do anything crazy calorie-wise. Just could have done better.

Also, thanks to Beck's crazy schedule, we couldn't get out to play football, but we're going to make time to get out there for an hour or so today to get a sweat worked up.

My weigh-in today was 285.0 on the nose, which I'm pretty OK with after being 286.6 yesterday and not having a great day. I'd guess I'm pretty on track for my 282.X by Friday morning.

All-in-all, I'm pretty happy with my direction right now. I'm planning on being out of the 280s sometime in the next three weeks, and I think that's going to serve as a nice fuel to keep me going. The last time I know I was anything under 280 was January. Too long ago.

That's it for now. Catch ya later.

Grrr

Alright, nobody bit, but the "all-you-can-eat" place in the last post was a salad bar.

Long story short, I jumped up 3.2 pounds after our cheat meal, and spent the weekend being good (not great, but really good) just to take 1.4 pounds back off. I was 288.0 Friday morning, and I'm 286.6 today.

Now, my goal with the cheat meal, and it was a risk, was to eat something I wanted, pay the price, and get back to my original goal weight of 286 by this morning - which I failed to do. We tossed the football a lot this weekend, and we were going to do it again yesterday, but our kids and neighbors kind of tossed a wrench in the idea. So, I missed my real workout yesterday, which didn't help my cause much.

That said, we'll get back to it today, and my goal this week will be to see 282.X by Friday morning.

Also, for those of you in Michigan - male and female - let's play some flag football. 3-on-3, 40-yard field, 30-minute running clock, co-ed...

Seriously, let's do this.

Ugh

One of those days. Kids going nuts. Work busy for me. Work busier for Beck. No time to cook.

Next thing you know, we're sitting in an all-you-can-eat restaurant, and I'm filling up two plates and a bowl with food, then coming home to eat a bowl of cereal. We did try to get out tonight and toss the football, but by the time we started it was already getting dark.

So now we're going to try to unwind, watch a movie, and hit tomorrow running.

Bulk Smash!!

As you may notice to the right, my goal of hitting 286.0 by tomorrow morning has been smashed by me, The Incredible Bulk.

Not only did I meet it, I destroyed it.

Today's weigh-in?

284.6

I really don't know how I dropped so much so quickly, and I don't care, to be honest. All I know is that my calories have been perfect since last Wednesday when I started this back up. And we've worked up a sweat in some capacity every day since last Wednesday, as well. Lots of throwing footballs and frisbees, going for walks, working out...something every day.

So, I find myself feeling pretty thrilled today.

Now, we're planning a controlled cheat meal tomorrow night. We're going to a Chinese Buffet, where we will only make two trips to the bar, and fried foods will be kept to an absolute minimum. We'll also be eating fewer calories through the day, keeping our number small as we sit down to eat.

Nothing wrong with cheating once in a while, as long as you're smart about it.

So, 286 is killed, and now my sights are set on 276.4. I have over two months to drop eight pounds, so I feel pretty good about getting there early, and giving me a big jump on 240.

I'm back, baby.

Unstoppable

Well, I thought I screwed up last night. Around 10:15 PM, I just got HUNGRY. Like, actually HUNGRY. I was trying to resist, but I caved. I had 1/2 a PB sandwich on whole wheat, and followed that up with a cup of dry Captain Crunch cereal. And then I had ANOTHER cup of dry Captain Crunch cereal.

I got weak, and I gave in. My calories were still in range, but it was more THAT I ate, and not WHAT I ate. Still, I was anticipating a bad number on the scale today.

What I got was a 286.4. Down almost a pound from yesterday, and only .4 pounds from my goal weight of 286.0, and with two days left to hit it.

This morning I realized that Beck and I have been active every day over the last week. Running, going for family walks, tossing a football, throwing a frisbee - every day since last Wednesday.

Even an avalanche starts with just a little snow. I think the avalanche is coming.

EDIT

I know sit at 8 pounds lost in 7 days. I'll take that.

Holding Pattern

I'm waiting for a more "official" weigh in that will take place roughly 45 minutes from now, and I'm hoping the numbers are a little better than my unofficial weight from a few minutes ago. If the weight holds, it will appear that my body has moved into a bit of a holding pattern, at 287.4. My last three weights were 287.2, 287.8, and today's 287.4.

If the number doesn't change, it's going to bring my first mental challenge of this reboot. Three days of no loss is just enough of a speed bump to get into my head. I expect to lose at least a little weight every day, with an occasional "nice" drop of a pound or more. And as unrealistic as it is, when I don't get it for a few days, I start doubting.

But I'm also realistic. I know it's insane to expect weight loss every day. Hope for it? Sure. Get pissed if you don't get it? No. Plus, for those of you who were around since Day One, you recall that my body like to screw with me - drop .4, drop .6, drop .2, gain 1.0, drop .4, gain 1.6, drop .2, drop .2, drop 3.8, etc.

So, this is where I need to focus. No matter what my scale says 40 minutes from now, it won't change my day - eat right, stay active.

And heeeeere we go...

EDIT

Official weight: 287.2

The Coalition Seems Quiet...

Here's hoping all is well.

Another good day for Beck and I. I'm getting close to calling it a streak, but I've had five good days before, so I'll hold off until Thursday. That'll but me at seven perfect days.

That's it. Hope everybody had a good day.

Update

287.8 this morning, so I'm up .6 pounds. I'm not too bothered by that, as I did go a little carb-happy last night with homemade potato salad (red potatoes, low-fat/low-cal dressing).

We've also decided that we like tossing frisbees. We found a little crappy one in our back yard last week, and it's kind of addictive. So, we're going to go try to find a cheap - but better - one at Target or something today.

More later...

Quickly

287.2 this morning, so I'm down another 2.6 pounds even after my first "slip up" (one scoop of ice cream with my daughter). Active day ahead, so I'm counting on that number dropping even more tomorrow.

I'm down 7.2 pounds since Thursday morning., and only 11 pounds from my Nov. 5 goal.

Built-In Motivation

Read the post below this one, but also check out these old posts that are serving to keep me going.

Me fat.
Me very fat.
Me at my thinnest.
My cheesy grin.

I want junk food

But I have already decided that I'm not allowing myself to deviate even an inch on my food intake until Thursday of this week. I just have to fight through these desires. So I will.

Haven't had my official weigh-in this morning, but my unofficial weight was the same as yesterday. I didn't work out last night, as I became progressively more sore throughout the day. And dinner was heavy on the carbs. But we'll see what the scale says in a few minutes here.

I will be doing my workout tonight, sore or not. I need to get at least three days a week in, and I'm planning on four.

Alright, that's about it. I'm sure I'll blog more later.

Have a good one.

*****EDIT*****

Weight was 290, so down another full pound. I hate that I had to start so high, but I'm glad that I'm down 4.4 pounds since Thursday morning.

Just got back from a 2-mile family walk, and followed that up with 20 or 30 minutes of tossing the football in the back yard. Not a bad start to the weekend.

My new short-term goal is to see 286 on the scale by Friday morning.

Has Anybody Seen...

This?



I've heard it's cheesy, and pretty much a poorly updated Karate Kid, but that it was a fun movie - lots of action, etc. As I look for motivation anywhere I can find it, I can't help but think that an MMA-based movie might not hurt.

Not looking for movie of the year, just looking for a cool 2 hours. Anybody have any input?

Progress

More later, but wanted to check in.

Couple of PERFECT days in the books. Eating has been pristine, I'm staying active, and I just plain feel better. I'm trying to figure out where the jump in weight came from last week, as I went from 288 to 294.4 in two days on average eating. But, I'm back to 291.0 today, so I'm down 3.4 pounds in two days.

Back to my Band workout tonight, and then we're hoping for an active, football-tossing-filled weekend. A lot going on personally, but it's more exciting than anything.

All-in-all, I feel good these days. My sleep is better. My attitude is better. My focus is better. And I haven't so much as thought about junk food in three days, which is something I've fought with through all of my past reboots.

Beck and I were talking last night, and she really feel like we're back where we need to be with this.

Only time will tell, but I think she's right.

Dinner Choices

Going into dinner, I sit at roughly 890 calories. I'm aiming for no more than 2,000 for a the next week or two. But we have nothing in the house, so we had to go to the store to pick up something quick and easy.

Sometimes, when you have kids to feed, you've been at work all day, and you don't have the time to go grocery shopping, you have no choice but to run into the store and grab something quick.

So we did.

We got iceberg lettuce, romaine lettuce, carrots slices, low-fat shredded cheddar, and light Italian dressing, and we're going to grill up some chicken.

I'm going to have a MASSIVE salad that will come in at roughly 350 calories, leaving me room for a bowl of wheat Chex later tonight.

Heck yeah, baby.

Holy $#!&!!!!

Alright, just got done with THIS, and let me tell you, it's the real deal. It might be one of the most complete workouts I've done in a long time. For those of you who may be struggling to find time, I HIGHLY recommend investing the $20 in some resistance bands (I have two pair, as some of these are just too easy with only one), and 25 minutes of your time 4 days per week.

My legs are sore, and my arms are tight and bulging. I was sucking wind by the end, and I've got a good sweat going right now.

Seriously, it's worth a look. Even if you're doing well, this might be a nice change of pace for you. And you can do it in your bedroom or your basement.

Alright, have a good night all. Here's one of many PERFECT days in the books...

Good Day So Far

Just got in from running some routes with Beck and tossing the football - about 40 minute's worth. Got a sweat worked up, and got the heart going, so it's a win. Will start my Anywhere Workout tonight. MH had a nice piece about the benefits of resistance band training, and it makes me feel better about using them for a few months.

Food-wise, had a small bowl of Cheerio's for breakfast, a turkey wrap for lunch, and was still hungry. So, I went into the kitchen for a second sandwich, and decided to do carrots with low fat ranch, instead.

So, several little victories so far today. But they start adding up after a while. Now I just need to keep them coming.

Gotta Do It

So, I just got done reading Billy's latest blog, and the comments that accompanied it. You know what I felt? Total jealousy. Not pride on Billy's behalf. Not inspiration. Nothing but jealousy. Where Billy has succeeded, I've failed. Where he kept going, I stopped. Where he moved forward, I regressed.

I look back at my old blogs, and I see that I could have EASILY been at my end goal of 240 by now. I could have my 10% body fat. I could mow my lawn with my shirt off. But somewhere along the way, I decided that I'd rather have crappy foods and nights on the couch than an impressive and healthy physique. So, my push ups have been replaced by Twizzlers. And my 5-mile walks have been bumped for Chinese buffets.

I can say stress played a part, but I could have been stronger than my stress, had I chosen to. I could say that fatigue played a part, as doing this for over a year did weigh on me. But with so many others still going, what's my excuse for stopping?

The truth is, I saw that pic of me at 272, and I liked what I saw. I figured I earned some time off. And that time off turned into laziness. And that laziness became a habit. Gone were the days of MAKING myself do something - anything - to work up a sweat. They were replaced by movie nights, cheat meals, and video games.

But Billy's blog smacked me right in the face. That could be me trying to decide if I want ripped abs, or if my flat stomach is good enough. Instead, I've spent the last two months hovering at 290 - 18 pounds heavier that I was a year ago, and 50 pounds from where I really want to be.

I've made so many excuses and justifications for my failures that I've started to believe them. But I don't, anymore.

My name is Kevin Antcliff, and I'm still fat. I need to lose 50 pounds. And I need to start again today.

Maybe that jealousy I felt was actually inspiration after all.

Check back through the day, as I'll be adding some specific plans and goals to get me back on track.

---EDIT---

On 11-5-07, I weighed 276.4. By 11-5-08, I need to be there again. Plenty of time. It gives me roughly 10 weeks to drop around 14 pounds.

I'll be using the Men's Health Anywhere Workout, which I couldn't find to link to. Gym's aren't in the plan for us right now, so I'll be using this exercise band workout 3-4 times per week, with cardio 2-3 times per week. This is a total body workout that claims you'll notice results in 8 days, blah, blah, blah. We shall see.

Alright, people. Let's rock and roll.

Inspiring Commercial

Between Nike and Under Armor... They have the market cornered on inspirational commercials. Here's the latest from Nike.

Quick Update

Been sick with flu/strep all week, and my eating is notoriously awful when I'm sick. That said, I was able to hold steady this week - weighing exactly today what I weighed on 7-25.

Not exactly parade-worthy, but I was afraid the weight was back up this morning, so I'll take it.

I'm still not feeling great, but I'm hoping to get out this weekend and take some walks, play catch - something. I'm kind of anxious to get active again after a week of feeling like microwaved poo.

Yes, I felt THAT bad.

Rollin'

1. Down another 2.2 from yesterday, planting me firmly back in the 280's. A LONG way to go, but it feels good to be back.

2. Two buckets of candy remain 12 feet from me. I had none yesterday, and I'll have none today.

3. We wanted pizza last night. We didn't have any.

4. There's still a cookie in the house. It's been there for 48 hours.

5. I have a cold, so I'm feeling crappy. Still, I made myself get up and do three sets of push ups last night.

fin

Update

I won't get into the back-and-forth that would be sure to follow concerning the whole "all food is either good or bad, letting your kids eat a cookie makes you a bad parent" thing. We'll just say that without self-control and moderation, there's no point in free will. My kids will be raised with the ability to make their own choices. It's my job to educate them so they make the right ones. Having cookies in the house isn't bad. Not being able to control yourself around cookies is. There's a big difference. Unfortunately, I'm still working on that "control" part of it. And until I am back to where I can eat in moderation, and resist the urges, I don't want any more cookies in the house.

Anyway, I had a perfect day yesterday. Calories were immaculate. Lots of water. And some of those aforementioned cookies were in the house when I got home last night, and I didn't even touch one.

Dropped 2.8 pounds from yesterday, which now puts me a little over a pound down from where I was on Monday morning. Tuesday's slip-up really screwed me over, but I've corrected that damage, and am moving forward.

Hoping to get a long family walk and some push ups in tonight, while keeping my eating at 100% again today.

That is all. We'll talk later, I'm sure.

EDIT

It should be noted that I'm sitting no more that 12 feet from three HUGE bowls of candy that somebody in the office brought it. My challenge for the day? Don't touch a single piece.

EDIT V2.0

I know nobody said I was a bad parent. Just tossed it out there as a basic, blanket statement.

It's Easier to Slip Up than it is to Get Up

One night. One craving. That's all it takes.

Yesterday was perfect until just after dinner. There were cookies in the house (curse you, wife of mine!), and I had a long day, but with low calories. So, I figured it would be alright to have a quick one. Then two. And three. And five. Later, reasoning that I already screwed up, I had a protein bar. And a bowl of Cheerios.

The only good news from this is that I'm PISSED this morning. Downright LIVID, actually. I truly want this again, but I'm coming to the realization that all the work I've done - internally and mentally - over the last 20 months is either buried under my new fat, or it's gone. It's like I have to start from the beginning, even in the mental game. I shouldn't HAVE to, as I know all of this. I know what I need to do. I know how to eat. I know how to pass on temptations. I know how to replace bad foods with good. But it's like I have to train my body to do all those things all over again.

It was a bump. It got my attention. It was like falling asleep at the wheel, and having something shock you into complete alertness.

Not doing this again.

So, I'm back on my feet after a disgusting night and morning. My calories WILL be spot-on today. I WILL do some more push ups tonight. I WILL do what needs to be done.

I can't let this derail me. I know you need 7 good days for every 1 bad day to be effective. Well, last night was my bad day. So, I'm at 2 good, 1 bad right now. I need five more days of good.

Not a problem.

Let's keep moving...

Making it Happen

Woke up at 6:30, and decided to get up and shower so I could chill before I went to work.

While in the bathroom, I looked at my gut and decided I could lounge after work.

I only had 30 minutes to work with after I got dressed, so I did the best I could with what I had - which used to be my motto as I was losing 94 pounds. So, I grabbed Spike, and we went for a quick, brisk mile walk. Would have been further, but the dog had to use the grass a lot. But we went exactly a mile in 20 minutes, and I made sure it was fast enough of a pace to make me pant and sweat a little.

When we got back, I dropped down and did 3 sets of pushups, then I finished the morning off with a Kashi bar and bottled water.

Not the most amazing workout ever, and I wish I could have done more, but from a mental standpoint, it was a pretty big win for me, so I'll take it.

So, a good start to the day after a perfect day yesterday (I had 104 ounces of water!). And I'll likely do something else active tonight - maybe more pushups, maybe a family walk, I dunno.

Have a good Tuesday, all.

Well...

I should be wearing 40's today. These 38's just aren't letting the blood flow. But I refuse. I said I'd never wear size 40's again, and I meant it.

Talked to Rob over the weekend. He and I will be checking in with each other throughout the day via email to make sure we're both doing alright.

I'll be drinking 80 oz of water a day. I'll be counting every calorie. I'll be making sure these 38's fit great again.

Shoot, I might just get crazy and what 36's have to offer me.

Let's rock, FAT. No more excuses. No more days off. No more spinning our wheels.

I've been the master of all of those recently. But not anymore.

And here...we...go...

Good News!

I looked back over old blog posts, and I haven't gained a pound in the last year! That's right, I weigh the same thing today as I did this time last year. That's great!!

Oh...

But I had also lost another 20 pounds by the middle of the fall. So, in reality, I've put 20 pounds back on.

Idiot.

I swear I'm trying. I just have to force my way through this mental block I've got going on. I'll figure it out. I just need to do it soon.

A Few Things...

Weighed in for the first time in what seems like forever today - 290.4.

Yeah, it's bad, but I was actually afraid that I was nearing three bills, again. So, I'm kind of relieved. Plus, it's not a fully accurate weight, as my stomach is having issues, and I'm thinking there's an extra pound or two in there. Gross.

Tonight, it's a mandatory 45-minute family walk, and before Beck and I relax tonight, I have to do 4 sets of 10 pushups.

I'm pressing through this the best I can, but I feel good. I think I'm gonna be alright.

Also, check this link out from FOX NEWS. Scary stuff. I don't ever want to be back there again.

Also from FOX NEWS, another good reason to get my butt moving. My mom was diagnosed at 53, one of the youngest with it in Michigan at the time. Because she had Early-Onset, I, my brother, and my daughters are twice as likely to have it as the average person reading this blog. It got my mom, and I'm not gonna let it get us.

Lastly, an interesting take on the fad diet phenomena over the last 10 years. At least two of these sound like something I'd be willing to try, though the first might have more risk then reward.

Later, all.

Forcing My Hand

I just cannot get control of the cravings and laziness right now - not of my own free will. So, I'm making myself do it. I brought to work no lunch, no money - just carrots and water. I may call this 24-hour period (beginning at 10 last night) a 24-hour detox. Nothing but veggies, juice, and water.

I need to MAKE myself string 3-4 days together. If I do that, it my create the momentum I need to get the train rolling, again.

Another Reason the World Needs Shift...

I purchased a Men's Health tonight in an attempt to get myself focused and fired up. As I flipped through the pages, I realized I've read just about all of this a dozen times before.

This magazine, and it's 200-ish pages, nearly never have anything truly new inside it.

Seriously, it's the same stuff over and over and over. And over. The market needs a 96-page, focused, health & fitness magazine that branches out into areas besides workouts and sex advice.

There can be something better...

...and with an investor, I can make it happen.

Making it Happen

Man, I am so far off track it isn't even funny.

I'll spare everybody further "poor me" crap, as going over that really isn't going to help anybody at this point.

Here's the deal: Beck and I realized that we are both 90% back into the mindsets that got us to the point where we needed to lose weight in the first place. Bad day? Eat! Great day? Eat! Workout or DVD? DVD! It's so screwed up, people.

So, without the need to expound, and without using my pretty words, I'm just going to say this: I have to decide what I want. Do I want to look like that dude over there -------------->

Or do I want to look like me?

So, I have to get back to what I KNOW works. I have to count calories, and keep it at 2400 or under NO MATTER WHAT. I have to drink more water. I have to look at a Kashi bar as a treat, not a bag of after dinner mints. I have to get back to having a cheat meal once every 10 days or so, not having a good meal every 10 days or so. I have to get my butt moving again. I have to sweat.

I've been here a dozen times in the last few months. I have to put a stop to it.

So today, like so many days before it, is Day One.

Chaos

Over the last 3-4 weeks, my life, and the lives of my family, have been totally tossed upside-down. I won't bore you all with the details, plus I think Beck laid out the basics pretty well last week. We'll just say that I'm scared right now. It would not be an exaggeration to say that a miracle is the only thing that can save us at this point.

So, over this time, I've felt an overwhelming sense of confusion. I literally feel like there are no answers, and if there are answers, I have no idea how to find them. I don't know what to do next. I don't know what to look into. I don't know where to turn. It's hard to explain, and I know I sound somewhat melodramatic, but I just feel like everything is cloudy and foggy, and I can't see what's in front of me - or around me, for that matter.

I don't know what to do, and this is sapping every bit of energy I have right out of me.

No energy to be strong for my family.
No energy to be patient with my kids.
No energy to do what I feel is required of me as a husband and father.

And no energy to take care of myself.

I haven't weighed myself in over a week, so I have no idea how bad it's gotten. I do know that my belt is tight. Some clothes that fit a month ago don't quite fit now. I look and feel week. And I have allowed myself NO control over what I eat. If it's edible, I've scarfed it.

I don't recall the last time I felt this out of control. I'm guessing around the time my mom died. After she passed, I gained over 40 pounds in about 9 months. I can't let that happen again.

So this morning, I got up 15 minutes early, and I went to my basement. There, I made use of what was available to me, and I ripped through 2 quick and restless circuits of band work (underhand rows, butterflies, and the one where you lift the weight to your chin), push ups, crunches, and knee raises. It was only 15 minutes, but I got myself sweaty, I didn't stop, and I wasn't in bed feeling sorry for myself.

As of right now, I cannot control my situation. I'm trying to find work. I'm trying to pay rent. I'm trying to protect my kids from knowing how bad it really is. But I CAN control what I eat, and I CAN control what I do. I might not like it, but I can make the decisions that I KNOW I need to make.

It's not going to be easy, but it has to be done. I have to take control of my life back.

How I Feel Some Days...

Michigan FATters

If I were to start a Saturday get-together thing where we'd play some (competitive) football or basketball, grill some chicken and veggies, and hang out, who would come? We'd meet somewhere central - a park, somebody's house with a big yard, whatever works.

I'm talking every Saturday, from roughly 2-5, or something like that.

Fingers Crossed

Alright, the finishing touches are happening as I type this, but Shift is back.

Check out the new site HERE.

This is not going to be easy. In fact, unless I find an investor to come in and write me a check to make it happen, it might be close to impossible. A LOT of things would have to fall into place, but I think there's room for Shift in today's market.

We shall see.

Help me out?

Have 5 minutes to spare?

My Scale is Being a Butt Head This Morning

He said some very mean things to me, the worst of which?

"You weigh 288.0 pounds. Ha!"

I don't get that one bit. Up 1.6 pounds out of nowhere. We had turkey dogs. Maybe there was a lot of sodium. I had a small bowl of cereal for desert. Maybe I...I dunno. I was way under on calories.

A weaker man would get ticked off and eat himself out of it. But I keep focusing on tomorrow, when I hope this will drop back off nicely, and on Nov. 20, when I hope to hit 240.

Can't let one day slow the entire machine that is the K-Dog.

Later.

Quick Update

286.4 this morning. I'm now down 5.8 pounds this week, with two days left. My goal is an even 8 pounds this week. We shall see.

More later, I hope.

Reviving an Old Friend

So, a lot going on with us from a work point-of-view. Long story short, it's looking like I'm out of the sports magazine business, at least for a while.

So, my options are pretty wide open right now.

As I tooled around the internet today, I found THIS.

Seeing that made me think of THIS.

So, I've decided I'd like to revive the idea I had several months ago, now - Shift Magazine. The market truly does need a more general health and fitness magazine, and having one that spends equal time and space focusing on the mental, physical, and life angles of transformations and maintaining healthy lifestyles is a nice bonus.

So, if any of you know of an investor, if you are a writer or photographer, if you can sell our ad space, if you want to represent us legally - pretty much everything is open. The more help we have, the better.

Shift, should it ever launch, will be the flagship publication of 3-One Publishing.

Printing a magazine isn't cheap, but Beck and I know how to do it. I've spent the last several years starting and running magazines, and Beck has been my designer every step of the way.

Drop me an email if you want to get involved in any way.

Shift.
Your mind.
Your body.
Your life.

We're baaaaaaack.

Went the Way...

of the cheat meal last night. It was scheduled, for the most part, and it leaves us with two more between now and July 18.

It seemed wrong to me to cheat so soon in the process, but I'm trying to focus on 7-18, not this morning. As it was, I was up 1.2 pounds, which will likely easily drop off today.

I've been drinking a lot of water, eating about 95% clean, and, at the very least, trying to do something active in my open time. With my job situation changing for the next four weeks, there's going to be a lot of adjustment, but I'll figure it out.

So, I aim for 7-18. By then, I hope to set or match a new low - 272.2. If I do that, I'll consider this month a HUGE success. Keep in mind, I was exactly 20 pounds over that on Saturday morning.

It's not going to be easy, I know that. And it's hard to explain, but I just kind of feel like I'm going to hit it. Not sure why, but I just sense that I'll make this goal.

I guess we'll see, huh?

Have a good one, all.

Don't Think I'm For Real?

I just went to the vending machines. Pop tarts, cookies, chips, candy bars...
I got a bag of peanuts.

An Unofficial New FAT Member

Check out THIS SITE. It belong to a very old friend of mine who I recently came back in contact with. Ends up he's fighting a similar battle to the rest of us, and he's off to a great start.

Good luck, Aron!

Still Doing Well

Down a total of 4.6 pounds in the last three days, so I'll take it. Not much time to blog, but wanted people to know I'm STILL doing alright.

Hoping to be out of the 280's for good by this time next week.

Quickie...

Morning weigh-in is pending, as I have yet to use the big boy potty, but my pre-bathroom weigh-in was down 2.4 from yesterday (which was AWFUL), so if I can drop a little more weight (eww), I should look pretty good.

Anyway, I'm going to go back to my old-school push up routine today to see how that works. And I'll do some high-rep upright rows with the resistance bands tonight. And, as is my new thing, I'm going to stay as active as I can otherwise through the day.

I also have a new visualization this morning. No offense to Big Will, but this dude seems more like where I'll end up in my mind. His name is Alistair Overeem, and he's an MMA fighter. He's 6-4, 225. I'll plan on being 6-8, 240. We'll see if there's any similarities.

Alright, I'll post my updated weight later. Have a great Sunday.

Also...

Great tool for the guys...

Most realistic ideal body weight calculator I've found. Most say I should end up around 205, which is INSANE. This on gives me roughly 235 to 259. Worth checking out.

So Far Today...

It's a kick-start day. No calories until dinner, then something healthy. In the mean time, just got back from a 3 mile-plus walk with the family, been out shoveling and raking for a while, and have worked up a nice sweat.

Today I aim for a massive calories deficit, then I go back to normal tomorrow.

A large portion of the family stress has eased for now, which is allowing me to focus on normal life a little more than I have. I've bought myself about 4 weeks of peace. We'll see if I can stretch it out and do some damage at the same time.

Have a good rest of the weekend...

Because Not Much Has Changed...

This should sound familiar, as I originally blogged it last week. But things on the stress front are finally starting to turn around. For the next little while, at least, my family will be taken care of, which is all that matters.

It's been a bad, bad 10 days. Ten of the worst I've experienced since my mom died. But we're slowly digging out.

So, I proclaim the following, yet again:

I've had enough.

The stress has been KILLING us lately. So many things are a mess right now, I wouldn't know where to begin in explaining it all. I do know that my family is in turmoil, and we're doing all we can to keep our heads above water. It's a bad situation.

Unfortunately, it's nothing we haven't been through several times in our six years of marriage. And while it sucks beyond description, we always seem to make it through.

But we've been letting this control us, and we can't do that. The one thing we can control right now is our health. In all honesty, it seems like everything else in our lives is dependent on someone or something else. But we decide what we eat. We decide how much we eat.

And we've been making awful decisions.

I weighed myself for the first time in a week today. What I saw made me sick to my stomach. Did I jump back over 290? Not quite. But it was about as close I could come, and as close as I ever want to be again.

289.0.

If you're anything like me, you just threw up in your mouth a little.

So now I'm backed against a wall. There are only two options: Get pushed right through that wall, or push back. Getting pushed through that wall will result in a 290, maybe a 300. That's a place I can never go back to.

So, today I push. I'm not going to make any bold declarations. I'm not going to promise to be X pounds by X date. I'm just going to do better. I am going to stop with the late junk runs. I'm going to stop with the "extra" turkey burger. I'm going to stop with the excuses.

I've been in the 280's since late January. Think about that for a second. For the last five months, I haven't lost a single pound. In fact, in December, I was holding in the mid-270's. So, I've actually put anywhere from 8-14 pounds back on, depending on the day.

I lost 94 pounds at my lowest. Hooray for me, right? Yeah, it's a nice accomplishment, and it means exactly nothing right now. I quit on myself, and now I'm headed back in the wrong direction. 94 is nice, but 126 was my goal. Today, I sit back at 77 pounds lost. That means I still have 49 to go.

So here I go...

...again.

Forward

Doing alright. Staying active, eating clean, down three pounds.

I'll take it.

Coming Soon...

http://kevinantcliff.com/

Lots 'O Thoughts

- Resistance is NOT Futile
Did a quick 20-minute resistance band workout last night to see if they were worth the time. I had to use two bands to make it "tougher," and I only did standing "barbell" rows, flies, and curl/row combos with some crunches and knee lifts mixed in, but I gotta tell ya, it wasn't bad. Not my toughest workout ever, but I do feel it in my shoulders today, and I worked up a sweat.

- Considering October
Last year, I set a personal goal for 10-10, which would have been my mom's 60th birthday. I fell short, and didn't like it. Now I find myself in a tough spot. I'd love to aim to hit 240 by 10-10 of this year, but that's gonna be tough to pull off. I'd have to lose 2.7 pounds per week between now and 10-10 in order to hit 240. I'd like to just say "screw it" and go make it happen, but if I miss this goal, I don't know how I'd handle it.

- Clean
We ate at a Chinese buffet yesterday. I aced the test. I'll be honest, I wanted to go in there, face so many of my weaknesses there on the hot serving trays, and eat nothing but good food. I wanted to prove I could do it, and I did. Chicken and broccoli, grilled pork, watermelon. I'm kind of proud of that one. Tonight? Turkey burgers.

Everybody have a great rest of the weekend!

Resuming and After

If I'm going to start over, might as well take Day One pics, huh? Also, please read the post below this one...

It Stops Here

I've had enough.

The stress has been KILLING us lately. So many things are a mess right now, I wouldn't know where to begin in explaining it all. I do know that my family is in turmoil, and we're doing all we can to keep our heads above water. It's a bad situation.

Unfortunately, it's nothing we haven't been through several times in our six years of marriage. And while it sucks beyond description, we always seem to make it through.

But we've been letting this control us, and we can't do that. The one thing we can control right now is our health. In all honesty, it seems like everything else in our lives is dependent on someone or something else. But we decide what we eat. We decide how much we eat.

And we've been making awful decisions.

I weighed myself for the first time in a week today. What I saw made me sick to my stomach. Did I jump back over 290? Not quite. But it was about as close I could come, and as close as I ever want to be again.

289.0.

If you're anything like me, you just threw up in your mouth a little.

So now I'm backed against a wall. There are only two options: Get pushed right through that wall, or push back. Getting pushed through that wall will result in a 290, maybe a 300. That's a place I can never go back to.

So, today I push. I'm not going to make any bold declarations. I'm not going to promise to be X pounds by X date. I'm just going to do better. I am going to stop with the late junk runs. I'm going to stop with the "extra" turkey burger. I'm going to stop with the excuses.

I've been in the 280's since late January. Think about that for a second. For the last five months, I haven't lost a single pound. In fact, in December, I was holding in the mid-270's. So, I've actually put anywhere from 8-14 pounds back on, depending on the day.

I lost 94 pounds at my lowest. Hooray for me, right? Yeah, it's a nice accomplishment, and it means exactly nothing right now. I quit on myself, and now I'm headed back in the wrong direction. 94 is nice, but 126 was my goal. Today, I sit back at 77 pounds lost. That means I still have 49 to go.

So here I go...

Yeah...Still Here...

Quickly:

STILL in the freaking low-to-mid 280's, and every time I get close to finally getting out, I screw myself over. This food thing is killing me, man. I have GOT to get it under control.

I ate myself into a stomach ache last night, and I wasn't even hungry. I just ate to eat.

Stupid.

I know I can do it. I've done it before. I know what needs to be done, and I do it for about three days, then I drive the weight loss truck right of the cliff.

In my search for small wins, I can point to the fact that I'm at least aware enough of what's going on to avoid putting any MORE weight on. I've been sitting here for two months. Again, a small victory, but not a real WIN.

I need to see the 270's this week. Absolutely HAVE to.