Ah, Tan Shirt. We Meet Again, After All These Years.

Haven't worn this shirt in a good four years. I tried it on last fall, and I could barely button the dang thing due to "excess belly syndrome", commonly referred to as "I Was A Lard Ass."

Small steps.

Clarification Time

Quickly from yesterday:

I'm very thankful for the time I have with my two girls. I love being here to see them learn things and develop. I love having that extra time. But my issue is that I'm a man, and I don't feel like one most of the time.

My duties (pardon the pun) are to change diapers, make bottles, and pick up the living room. I do this while my wife is out earning our only income. Now, I'm not too old fashined to think that Becky should only be cooking dinner and washing clothes while I go hunt the Mammoth to feed the family. But I do feel that I should be contributing more than I am right now.

Unfortunately for me, this is the only place I fit in - as a stay-at-home-dad. The truth is, even if I found work, it would have to pay me enough to get us a second car, daycare, extra gas and insurance, and leave enough left over for us to start getting ahead.

It's a tough position.

I never said or even implied I have nothing to be thankful for. What I said was, I can't expect to get comments about my weight because I don't see anybody except my two kids pretty much all week. As far as getting weight-loss compliments goes, I'm at a disadvantage.

OK, enough of that.

I went back to my zig-zag yesterday after having three days that were pretty similar - inadvertantly. My reward this morning was a weigh-in that floated between 309.5 and 310. I'm not greedy, so I'll go with 310. Now, because of the stupid 313's that popped up, my 5-day stayed the same today. And even if I'm 310 again tomorrow, it's going to go up a little bit. But, as soon as those 313's drop off, I'll be in pretty good shape for my run to 299.

I've decided I'm going to go see a Dr. about my shoulder after I get paid next. The pain comes and goes, but it's here more than it's not. It's gonna make it hard for me to get to 260 with one arm.

That's about it for today. TGIF, and here's to hoping that the weekend is better than the week. It's been a long one.

That's Better

Just when I was beginning to think that the 310 I had last Sunday was a fluke, I was awarded with a 310.5 on the scale today.

Why the 313's had to hang around go long, I don't know. And I would be surprised if I've seen the last of them. Hopefully I'm wrong.

Now, allow me to indulge myself and complain for just a second.

Back in October, I was in downtown Denver for a meeting. The people I met with are the execs at Mile High Sports Magazine, where I currently work on a contract basis as their "web guy". At the time of this meeting, I weighed at least 347, likely a little more, as I hadn't started my transformation, yet.

Well, going into yesterday's meeting with the same people, I honestly expected to hear some comments about my weight loss. I even wore a shirt with vertical stripes to make me look taller and slimmer.

After the 45-minute meeting was over, I shook hands, said "see ya later", and headed for the door.

Not a word.

I don't know why it's so important to me that somebody notice what I've been doing and comment on it, but it is. I mean, I've lost 34 pounds since Thanksgiving. That's noticeable, right? I've lost almost 50 pounds since this time last year. That's good enough for some people to make it onto a Slim Fast commercial wearing old pants and holding the waistline out to show how "thin" they are now.

I've gone through some major changes in the last four months, and it sometimes feels like nobody outside of my apartment even notices. I've always been somebody who's needed positive reinforcement, and it makes it tough to feel motivated when I don't get it. I guess I just want somebody to recognize the changes, and be impressed with the effort.

Some of you have people from work who log on and comment. Others have family members. A few have both, it seems.

I guess I'm at a disadvantage. I'm in this house with a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old 50+ hours a week. I don't interact with anybody with my job, I have no friends to speak of, and my family - even though I've asked - won't take the time to read about what I'm doing here. I guess it's tough to find people to notice what you're doing when you don't know any people who care.

And here's where Old Kevin would grab some doughnuts and drown his sorrows. I barely contribute to this family financially anymore (and we have major needs right now), I have no personal life, my family is all about doing their own thing and expecting others to follow, I don't have a single friend in Colorado, and these two kids are the only people I talk to from 7am to 6pm every day. It's depressing. My family seems miserable, and there's nothing I can to do help it.

But New Kevin knows that what's going on around him should have no bearing on what he puts into his body. And so far it hasn't - luckily.

Even if I'm still lonely, poor, and half a man in four months, I'll be lonely, poor, and half a man who is in great shape.

No Time

On my way out the door for a meeting that could breathe serious life into my career, so no time to post much.

Good thing, too. I'd just end up bitching and moaning about ANOTHER 313 on the scale.

Grrrrr.

Wish me luck.

Fluctuations v3.0

I'm not a happy man this morning.

As I've mentioned numerous times before, my body fluctuates like nobody's business. For the most part, I've come to expect a weigh-in two pounds higher than a nice, low weigh-in back-to-back. But even though I've "prepared" myself for it, it still BLOWS to see it on the scale.

For example, I hit an all-time low (and a four-year low) of 310 on Sunday. I assumed I'd be back as high as 312 yesterday, and, sure enough, I came in at 311.5. Now, my history sughests that today's weigh-in would be right around 311 again. Maybe even back to the 310 range. Instead, I get a freaking 313. So, with two more days of clean eating, I've actually put three pounds back on in two days.

There were a few subtle differences between the last 48 hours and all of last week. For one, no walk yesterday. For two, no zig-zag. My totals were only about 10 calories off for the last two days. Though I don't see how eating 2100 calories a day for 48 hours would contribute to putting on 3 pounds. Also, I had two bowls of cereal yesterday (wheat chex and honey nut cheerios), and I added a tablespoon of sugar to each for taste. Again, I can't see how a combined 50 calories would play that much of a difference in the weigh-in.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not as down as the blog seems. Shoot, I took all of the dates off of my goals yesterday, showing that I don't care WHEN I hit my weights, as long as I DO hit them. But I'd much rather be stuck on 310 for a week than start moving in the opposite direction.

I just worked my tail off last week to see that 310 on the scale, and now I've got to work it off again just to get back down there. I know - it could be water weight. I know- the body's weight can fluctuate as much as four pounds a day. But it doesn't make it any easier to see it.

In Other News

>> My shoulder felt MUCH better last night, and I was set to resume my pushups and situps today. But when I woke up this morning, the discomfort was back. Maybe it'll loosen up as the day goes on, and I can still get a few sets in tonight.

>> Boxing is a no-go for now. After I had my pay cut, we just coudn't justify it. It was pretty much a choice between diapers and formula or boxing lessons. We went with the kids on this one. That said, I'm going into talk to the Execs at the magazine tomorrow about expanding my duties, as well as the web site I currently run. If it works, it would be a huge boost to both my career and my finances.

>> I still adore the Food and Activity log at LA Boxing. It has everything - weekly summaries, personalized carb/fat/protein targets, graphs that show your progress - and lots more. If you're looking for a very cool tool, check it out here.

That's it for now. Have a good one, all.

Being A Motivator

Billy and Rob both have pretty nice posts up concerning people who have recently told them that they have been inspired by following along with their respective weight-loss journeys.

There isn't much more motivating than knowing YOU are motivating somebody else.

I think it's pretty safe that everybody in the FAT Coalition has been a motivator/inspiration to somebody else in the coalition at some point over the last few months. Billy's pics, Rob's fire, Beck's struggles - and victories - I think we've all appreciated seeing what somebody else has done, and used that to fuel our own desire to change.

And we should all be proud of that.

That said, I find myself a little annoyed, and a bit disappointed that I haven't had that happen to me, yet. And it's not just that. Not only has nobdy outside of my wife or the coalition said they've been "inspired" by me, but I haven't even had a non-family comment about my weight-loss. And the family that DID comment was the health-conscious, always been skinny cousin who is 33, but looks 21.

I've always needed that outside recognition to help me keep going. It's like your wife telling you you're the best at something. You appreciate it, but that's what wives are supposed to say. If somebody who isn't SUPPOSED to say nice things about you says something like that, it has a deep effect. Hopefully that made sense.

My point is this: I'm not doing this for anybody else. I'm doing it for me, and for a long life with my family. I shouldn't need anybody else to pat me on the back, but it does help. And the fact that I'm not getting it is just another challenge for me to overcome. Lack of recognition has never been something I've dealt with very well.

But I can take solace is things like this:

Today's Weigh-In: 311.5 (back up, but I expected it)
New 5-Day: 311.9

New Blog Title: The 51.9

I'm 1.9 pounds from being at the halfway point of 50 pounds lost since January of last year.

Rounding Turn Three

Look! Even the Detroit Tigers are happy for me. Thanks, guys.

Just a quick note today so I can share my SWEET news.

Today's Weigh-in: 310!!!
5-Day: 312.6!!!

Next goal? 299.

Doing Things Right

Just a quickie today, as nobody reads this blog on the weekends, anyway.

I've been living the 100% perfect life for the past week, now. While I haven't been able to do the type of excercise I want to do because of my shoulder, I've been staying active - playing more with my kids, cleaning the house hard and fast, taking nightly walks, etc. I've been eating 100% clean for six days. And when I say 100%, I mean 100%. I've been drinking my 64 ounces of water each day, something I hadn't done up until this last week.

What have I seen as my payment for this new focus and effort?

Well, how about one of my best weight-loss weeks to date?

As of right now, I have taken 2.5 pounds off of my 5-day average since Monday, with two more days to go. My weigh-in last Monday was 316.5. Today, I tipped the scales at an amazing 311. I can't honestly tell you when I was this close to 310 last. I'm guessing it's been roughly four years.

Even though I've not been doing my ideal workouts, I haven't felt this good in years. The weight is coming off, I'm more active (I haven't sat in front of the TV before the kids were in bed once this week), I'm eating great, I'm drinking my water...it's perfect. And I'm proud of myself.

I know how my body works. I once lost 60 pounds in a little over four months simply adding a little excercise into my routine of crappy eating. Once my body decides it wants to change, it changes. Quickly. That's what it's doing now.

I have two more days to go to hit 310 on the scale. When I made the goal on Monday, it seemed lofty, at best. But now it looks like I could actually do it - as soon as tomorrow.

Man, this is fun, again. I wish I would have been doing this all along.

Editor's Note:

The writer of this piece ate at Tokyo Joe's last night (don't worry - chicken breast over brown rice), a place where he needs to sit at a table, because the booths are too "snug". Well, last night, Mr. Antcliff sat in a booth. He was comfy. He had room to spare. He's happy about that.

Let's Play "Good News, Bad News"!

Good News: Today's weigh-in was another 313.5.
Bad News: My shoulder is killing me, again.

Good News: A 318 dropped off of my 5-day, bringing my new average to 314.7.
Bad News: It's going to rain tomorrow - my basketball day.

Good News: Yesterday marked 5 straight days of 100% clean eating.
Bad News: Boxing equipmemt is expensive.

Good News: I'm still beyond motivated to take these boxing classes.
Bad News: I still can't afford them.

Good News: My last few posts have been great news or pleas for help with a great cause.
Bad News: It's like pulling teeth to get comments, anymore.

Good News: The founding members of FAT are going strong.
Bad News: Several haven't posted on their blogs in weeks.

This is a call-out to those of you who have seemed to fall off the wagon. Get back on! This is a team, and we're not letting you all quit on us that easy. You know who you are.

Everybody head to the blogs in question, and spam their comments with requests for an update. We gotta get 'em back on track.


Caloric Zig Zag for the last Five Days:

2100, 1800, 2300, 2000, 2900
Aiming for 2200 today.

Weight Lost Over Thse Five Days:

1.4 pounds off of 5-day average
4.5 pound difference in weigh-in

More Proof That Diet is 80% of the Struggle

Thanks to Mr. Achy Shoulder over here on my left, I haven't been able to do anything more than taking some walks for the last few days. The pain is pretty intense at times, and my movement is somewhat limited (though it feels about 20% better this morning). So, I've been sure to watch my food intake like a hawk.

Over the last four days, I've eaten 100% clean. Well, 99.999% clean. I did have a few of my daughter's frosted animal crackers. Maybe 200 calories worth over that time. Anyway, I've been snacking on apples and grapes, I've been eating only brown rice and whole wheat bread, I've cut my milk intake down by a good 8-16 ounces a day, and it's been only the leanest of meets going in the mouth.

Point being, I weighed in at 313.5 today, the lowest I've weighed in so far. The weight brings my 5-day average to 315.6, also a new low by one tenth. And that's with a 318 that comes off tomorrow. If I can keep this pace up, I should easily be able to hit my goal of weighing in at 310 at least once by Monday.

Man, I can't even tell you how it would feel to know that I'd only be 10 pounds away from getting out of the 300's for good. And as great of a motivator as that is, it's nothing compared to getting to 299. And I already know that hitting 299 would allow me to feel like I was in the home stretch. I'm pretty stoked just thinking about it.

And a tool that I'd like to use to get me there is L.A. Boxing. I was trolling around their site yesterday, and I read the description of the boxing classes they teach.

You'll get a workout that doesn't miss a spot: a 1,000-calorie-an-hour cardio bomb and a superb all-body tuner that builds shoulders and forearms and works legs, hips, abs, upper back, triceps, biceps and lats. (Want to blast your delts? Try holding 16-ounce gloves at chin level for two rounds.)

This boxing class will teach you boxing skills and technique, increase your muscular and cardio endurance, take your core strength to a new level, and burn off more than just calories. A cardio boxing, bag work and core strengthening segment will always be done.

I'm a Rocky freak, so anything that gets me to box is fine by me. (By the way, Rocky Balboa is out on DVD, so go pick it up.)

Needless to say, I inquired about pricing, and memberships range anywhere from $40 to $100 per month. As somebody who just had his pay cut in half, I don't know if I can justify the monthly bill right now. That said, I plan on trying to find the extra money somehow. I know how my body works, and if I could take two of those classes a week, and keep up with my walks, basketball, and pushups/situps on my other days, I'd lose weight as fast as it could possibly come off.

We'll see if I can make it work.

The web site also has another version of Fitday/Calorie-Count. It's the best I've seen so far, with the one exception being that they don't have quite as many foods in their database. But what they miss with foods, they make up for with personalized protien, fat, fiber, and carb suggestions, a meal planner, graphs to show your progress, links to ask the LA Boxing Dietician a question, and a host of other extras. The link is http://www.laboxing.purewellness.com.

Have a good one, everybody.

Ow.

OK, this isn't good.

My left shoulder is killing me. When I lift it to the front or my side, it feels like it catches on something, and pops. It's not the arthritis-type pain I had last week. No, that would be better, actually.

It doesn't feel like something that was a direct result of the pushups, especially since I've done way more pushups in a week than I did last week, and never had an issue with it. Granted, all my pushups were real last week, adding on a good bit of weight.

Point being, I'm not able to use the left arm to do much more than pick my daughter up out of her crib, and even that hurt.

So, what do I do?

I'll tell you.

I'll KILL with my diet. I've eaten 100% clean for three days now (though protien bars may not qualify as clean to some), and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Especially since I can't do much besides walking - which we're doing every night. I'm talking fish, chicken, turkey, apples, carrots, whole grains, lowfat milk - I'm doing well.

And I'm seeing the diet-related weight loss on the scale. I had somehow gotten back to the 316-318 range on my daily weigh-ins, and I'm now back down to the 314-315 range for the last two days.

So, until the shoulder feels better, I'll keep zig-zagging (my last three days: 2,100, 1800, 2300), and only putting the best of the best in my body. I'll also keep going on the nightly walks with the wife and kids.

And if the shoulder doesn't feel better soon, I'm off to see the doc. I'm not playing around with it. I have goals to hit, and no time to waste.

Please Pass This Along

Tons I could talk about with my transformation today, but it's not about me right now.

As some of you know, my mom was taken from me at the age of 57, after a 4-year battle with Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. They were the worst few years of my life. What that evil disease did to my mom is almost unspeakable. Once a bright, witty, funny English teacher, she was reduced to a 57-year-old woman with, essentially, the brain of an infant. It tore her brain apart until it could no longer tell her body how to stay alive. She passed away on December 7, 2004.

The disease is a killer, and it needs to be stopped. It takes your loved one from you twice - first mentally, then physically. The pain that disease caused my mom, and my family...

I could go on for hours about how much I hate this disease, and how it's destroyed me on so many levels, but instead, I'm going to ask you all for your help in beating it.

On September 15, 2007, Beck and I will be running in the Alzheimer's Association 5k Memory Run. I have started a running team, Team SKA (my mom's initials), and I'm hoping to get 9 more people with us to run. As a team, I want to raise $2,500 for Alzheimer's research. Now, I know that most of you who read this live somewhere besides Denver, but I'll extend the invitation, anyway.

If you'd like to join Team SKA, click here. From this link, you can join the team, and register to run with us in September. If you don't live in Denver, but you know somebody (besides me) who does, please send them the link to this blog.

If any of you would like to donate to my cause, click here. I'm trying to raise $200 on my own, that will be rolled into the team total.

If you can't donate, that's fine. But at least forward this to anybody who you think might want to get involved. I need all the help I can get. Mass email it, post it on your blog page, print it out and put in on a cork board at work - anything.

This disease is a muderer. It killed my mom, and it kills hundreds of thousands of other innocent people each year. Help me bring it to justice by finding a cure.

Not Cool, Man

My weight only dropped .2 pounds since last Monday, thanks in part to a freaky 318 that showed up on my scale last week.

Figure this out for me. I get sick and can't workout for almost four weeks, and I lose 8 pounds. Then, I start working out, and I lose .2 pounds in a week.

Makes zero sense to me, but I won't dwell on it for too long.

Check this site out: www.realage.com. I took this quiz back in November, and it said I was actually 39 years old based on my diet and excercise habits. I re-took it a few weeks ago, and I had added 4 years to my life, and lowered my risk of getting nailed by several diseases in just three months. I'll re-take it again in another month to see if I've made any extra progress. Go take the quiz putting in your before information, and your current information, and see what kind of impact you've made.

As for this week, it's not going to be easy. I've had arthritis-like pain off and on in my shoulders since I was 18, and after a week of pushing myself with pushups, the pain is back. I'm treating it with ibuprofin, but it's not doing much as of right now. I can barely lift my arms over my head, much less support my body weight with them. I'll figure something out.

Calorie-wise, I'm jumping on the bandwagon, and I'll be varying by intake every day to see what it does for me. I'll be floating between 1,800 and 2,900 per day over the next week to see if it has any real impact.

Some goals for the week:

Eat Clean 90% of the time or better
Do my pushups/situps at least 4 times in the next 7 days
Play basketball for at least 3 hours this week
Weigh in at 310 at least once in the next 7 days

Not gonna be an easy week. Keep on me.

Entering the Big Time

So, let's go over some things this morning.

First, I feel good enough to start working out again, finally. The cough is still nagging, but I've just decided to push through it and work out, anyway. If the cough hangs on, I'll consider seeing the Doc.

Second, I'm over 31 pounds lost since Thanksgiving of 2006. And even with a weigh-in of 316.5 again today, my average dropped another tenth to 315.7.

Third, I'm expecting to start seeing some major changes in the next several weeks. When you have 100 pounds of fat that need to come off, it's going to be a while until you see any major changes besides a shrinking belly (see pics below). But when you get into the 50-60 pound range, there's less of the nasty stuff to cover the new muscles you're building, so the improvements become easier to see.

Billy started out having to lose 70 pounds, and his physical improvements have been very noticeable since his third or fourth week. For the rest of us, we're just starting to come into that range where the changes move from "Hey, looking better" to "wow, that's amazing!"

So I now have roughly 55 pounds to go to get to my goal weight of 260. Even then, I'll still need to take a few vanity pounds off to get the body I really want. And while I'm not trying to be a 3% body fat Men's Health cover boy, I do want to be a strong, fit, imposing figure.

I want to be a guy who people look at and think "damn, wouldn't wanna meet him in a dark alley." I want to be the guy who people think of when they want a force down low on their team when playing basketball. I want to be the guy who people look at and say "dude, show me how you got that chest." I want to be a 6' 8", 260-pound tower of power.

I expect to see that guy taking shape over the next 8 weeks.




No, not THAT big

Check the Pics Below This Post

Just wanted to get my weigh-in documented.

314, kiddies.

My new average is now under 316, at 315.8.

Both are new lows for me.

Smile! You're On Half-Naked Camera!

Yikes.

I still can't believe I'm posting these.

These are my before (360-ish), and my durings (316). I'm pleased to announce that you can really see the difference from December of '05 to now.

Still, I've got a VERY long way to go, but I think it's pretty obvious that I'm on the right track.

I started by pushup/situp routine today, and I actually did two more pushups than I've ever done before, at least thus far in my transformation. And while 12 is hardly an impressive number, I'm enjoying the fact that my max went up by two, even though I haven't worked out for nearly four weeks. My situps? Well, they weren't so impressive. I'll be starting off at a whopping 10.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing these pics again in 12 weeks. I'm expecting some MAJOR changes.

Fluctuations v2.0

My body is screwed up.

I weigh in 315, and I follow it with a 317. Then I hit another 315, and follow that up with a 316.5. Then a 318, followed by a 315 and another 316.5. It's all over the place. I even had a 320 in there, but I proceeded to use the restroom, and a 316.5 made itself known, instead.

Even with all of the up and down, my average dropped to 316.0 today, a new low. It's confusing, but I'll take it. I will need to get my weights back down under 316 starting tomorrow, or the weight average will start creeping back up. Don't want that.

This cough is STILL hanging on. I do ANYTHING that gets my heart rate up, and the hacking starts up again. Thing is, it's JUST the cough. I'm not sneezing, my eyes don't burn, I'm not achy. When I'm not coughing, it's all good. I just really need to shake this thing, and soon.

As for my workouts, I'm thinking of trying something a little crazy when I feel better. I'm considering doing a workout consisting only of pushups and situps for four weeks. I'll also toss some basketball and maybe some running in during the week. The plan would be to do two sets of as many pushups and situps as I can do twice a day, adding on 2-3 of each every week. So, if I can do 10 pushups and 15 situps this week, my goal would be to do 12 and 17 next week. Then 15 and 19, and 17 and 21. This would be in effort to get into "Academy Shape" by 6/10. I know it won't be a great total body workout, but the pushup works so many muscle groups, and my lower body would be getting lots of work with hoops amd running, I feel like I could pull it off. I already know that pushups do big things for me.

That's about it for now. I think Beck and I will be posting our new pics tonight, so drop back by and check it out - if you dare. Beck should also post one of her flexing her upper body. It's pretty impressive.

Have a good day, all.

An Active Family is a Healthy Family

Just a quickie this morning.

First, the name of the blog has changed again, this time dropping .9 pounds. Not an impressive number, but it's still going in the right direction.

Second, my new measurements are listed in the right sidebar. With my cough keeping me from working out, by bicep dropped .25", but everything else looks great. I'm gonna try to get back at it today, but this cough is STILL making life miserable for me right now.

Third, I am now 16.4 pounds from hitting the 299.9 mark. My goals on the sidebar are all jacked up, and there's no way I'll hit that number as I planned to on the 23rd of this month. Still, I think I can weigh in at 299.9 or lower by April 11th, if I'm a good boy. So, that's my new goal. Let the countdown begin.

Lastly, Beck and I are making the conscious decision to make our family more active. We started this weekend. Normally, we relax and veg out a little on Saturday's and Sunday's. And we still had time for a little of that. But, before we vegged, we worked. On Saturday, Beck and I played basketball for an hour. As I said in my last post, it wasn't a vigorous workout, but it got our heart rates up, and we broke a sweat. Then yesterday, we headed to the big mall near Boulder, got the stroller out, and walked around for a while. Then, after we were done in there, we went looking for some nearby trails. We couldn't find them, but we did see a Wal Mart about a 1/2 mile down the road. So, we hiked over a bridge, headed to Wal Mart, bought some water, and headed back. All-in-all, we probably turned the day into a good 2+ mile walk.

Again, nothing to write home about, but a nice, subtle lifestyle change that will pay off later.

Alright, I guess that's it for now. Everybody have a great Monday.

It's going to be 72 here today. Just thought I'd mention that.

Back On The Court

Gonna keep this one short today.

First, weighed in at 315 again, taking my average to 316.5 - a new low for me.

Second, Beck and I got rid of the kids last night, and headed to the Pepsi Center to watch the Pistons beat up on the Nuggets. Good times. (Side note: I'll be buying a #84 Webber jersey soon.)

Third, I played basketball today for the first time in over two years. It's sad that it's been that long, but it felt great to be back. And while I was a little rusty, I could tell I still had some game in these bones somewhere.

Becky was my only competition, and since this was her fifth time playing basketball - ever - I handled her easily. Even so, she is a quick learner, and should be able to master the up-fake and jab-step in no time. She's a born spot shooter.

Calorie Count says one hour of shooting baskets burns 1,152 calories, but I don't believe that for a second. Even so, it got my heart pumping, I worked up a sweat, and it got me out from in front of the TV.

Still, this damn cough won't leave me alone. I didn't cough while playing, but I haven't stopped since. It's killing me. I'm starting to think I'm just going to have to work out through the cough, and see if I can sweat it out. As irritating as that may be, it might be the only way to get rid of this thing.

That's all for now. Folks, I'm only a hair over 16 pounds from getting out of the 300's for good. That's enough to motivate a guy.

30 Pounds Of Camera Equipment

That's what the ad said when I hit Google to find things that weigh 30 pounds. So, I have it on good authority that the picture you see represents the amount of weight out of my bod.

In summary? Today I crossed the 30-pound barrier. 30 pounds is almost 1/3 of my initial 100 pounds, and it's more like 35% of the 87 pounds I needed to lose as of Thanksgiving of '06.

Some thoughts on a milestone-ish day:

>> I miss working out.
I feel fine, except for when this cough gets me. I walk up stairs, I wrestle with my daughter, I run a few steps to sneak up on my other daughter...and the cough nails me. Following the cough is a headache, a chestache, and some serious anger that I can't shake this thing. I want to do pushups. I want to go play basketball tomorrow. I've been luck that my diet has been kept in check during this sickness, or else there's no telling what might have happened.

>> Depression?
I don't think I have it, as I truly believe people can control their reactions to circumstances, even if they can't control said circumstances. That said, I've been very down lately. I had my pay cut in half at my current job, I can't catch a break when interviewing for other jobs, I miss being a publisher, but I don't have the money to do it again, I have no friends outside of this house, I change diapers and make bottles 10 hours a day with no real outlet...It's been a tough stretch. I spent about 5 hours working on some behind-the-scenes things with my fictional magazine, and it helped a ton. Just proof that if I could get back to doing something I love, it could make a major difference in my life.

>> Preception
So, last week, I hadn't eaten anything all day, as I was rushing around to get some things done. I found myself very hungry while driving around, so I did something AWFUL and stopped at McDonald's. Before you panic, I had a couple of those grilled chicken snack wraps - so it was better than I could have done. But I realized something as I was eating - I didn't want people to look in my window and see me eating McD's and think "Yeah, THAT'S why he's so fat!" In reality, I was cheating by eating grilled chicken on a white tortilla. It was not my normal routine, and I didn't want anybody to think that all I ate was fast food, and I deserved to be fat. It's odd how you worry about how people view you when you're trying to make a big change.

That's it for today. Everybody keep trucking.

Not Much To Say

>> Still fighting with the cough. I'm OK until I try to exert myself in any way, thenI hack myself into a migraine.

>> Weighed in at 315.0 today, so I hit a goal - three weeks late.

>> A lot of crap in my head that I'm struggling with. Might be quiet around the blog for a few days.

Feed Me, Seymore

Today's Weigh-In: 315.5
5-Day: 317.2 (new low)

57.2 to go, people. I'm .2 pounds away from hitting the 30-pound lost mark, too.

In other news, I'm going to echo Becky's post from yesterday, and say that I'm going to add some calories to my daily intake. I figured out my BMR long ago, and figured out that I could lay on the couch motionless and burn 3,500 calories each day. I went with that number, and tried to go no higher than 2,500 calories.

For a while, I was even going under the 2,000 mark. Big mistake.

Well, I looked back into the BMR formula yesterday, and I realized I've been leaving out some important information this entire time - my activity level. Even adding in "light activity" of light exercise 2-4 days each week takes my number of calories burned each day to 4,200. Which means, to lose 2 pounds each week, I should be eating no less than 3,200 calories per day.

So, I need to add in roughly 700 calories per day to my intake, which is not going to be easy, as I normally have to add something in to get closer to 2,500.

Also, this would explain why I lost my last 3-4 pounds. Even though it seemed by diet was failing, as I was eating closer to 3,500 calories, I might have just been getting the intake up to where it needed to be to keep my metabolism going, and burning fat. Again, I never went over 3,500 calories whenI was off the wagon.

No matter, I'll be trying to count calories again to make sure I'm in the correct range. I'll be adding in some extra fruits and veggies to my normal meals, and maybe adding a PB on Wheat sandwich in the evening as my regular desert. We'll see how it goes.

Also, if it isn't already there, I'll be adding the goal of being in "Academy Shape" by 6/10 to my sidebar. Like Cindy said in my comments, even if I don't apply, I can still strive to be in shape for it.

OK, folks. Let's rock.

EDIT:

I'm still sick. This cough is killing me. My head is constantly pounding. I feel OK when I'm not hacking, but if I exert myself at all, it's over. The cough knocks me on my can. If it's not better in a couple of days, I'm going to see a Dr.

Also, my 5-month-old is sick, making for late nights, early morning, and stressful days. None of which are good for a transformation.

Call Me Crazy

I might be adding a new goal to my list of goals soon.

First, some background.

I have a legal/law enforcement/security background. I spent the better part of eight years working for major retailers like Target, Kmart, Wal Mart and Sears handling internal theft investigations, check and credit fraud investigations, and external theft caes (I tackled shoplifters). I enjoyed the work a great deal, and a few times I was offered assistance with getting onto the police force of the city or county in which I was working at the time.

More than once, I came close to saying yes.

But, as much as I think I would have enjoyed the work, I wanted to be a writer. I still do. But, as I go on, I realize the writing thing is going to be tougher to make happen.

Then, as I make that realization, I find a job listing for the Aurora, CO. Police Department. Most departments in the US require college degrees, and/or a candidate that has already gone through a police academy (insert Hightower or Tackleberry jokes here). But Aurora has it's own academy, and no education requirements past a high school diploma.

And the wheels started churning.

My initial concern was my health and fitness level. To get through an academy, you have to be in pretty good shape. Though I've lost some weight, I know I could not make it through an academy right now. Well, it ends up the academy starts in November, and you can apply up until June 15th.

So, here's the potential new goal: Be in Police Academy shape by June 10th.

Now, academy shape isn't perfect shape. They have certain requirements. All they had listed on their site were these:

Sit Ups: Must do 29 basic sit-ups in one minute
Push Ups: Must do 21 push ups in one minute
Running: Must run 1.5 miles in 15:16

I may be able to handle the sit ups in my current shape, but the other two would force me out.

So, now I'm weighing everything.

Plusses:
Good money and great benefits.
I'd make a difference.
Amazing motivator to get in shape.

Negatives:
Not a great area.
Could get killed.
Would have to work nights.
Could get killed.
Stressful job.
Could get killed.

I'm open to feedback.

Fluctuations

Wondering if anybody else has this issue:

When I have a low weigh in (such as yesterday's 315.5), I pretty much always follow it up with a weigh in anywhere from 1-4 pounds higher the next morning (such as today's 318). It doesn't matter if my diet is great, if I workout, if I have liposuction - it's higher 90% of the time.

While I've become used to it, it's still pretty frustrating to take even the smallest of steps backwards.

For a brief second, I thought I might have had a chance at hitting the 315 benchmark, but I'm back up 2.5 pounds on the scale. Now, the average did manage to drop one-tenth of a pound, so I can't be too bothered. And, chances are, I'll be back to a 316-317 weigh-in tomorrow, assuming I'm a good boy today.

Moral of the story with this post is that my body is odd. These fluctuations bug me to no end. When we were showing off our spreadsheet graphs a few weeks ago, mine was the only one with lots of varying numbers. I'd prefer to just see steady progress everyday.

I know, I know. It's only data collection, and my 5-day still dropped, so I need to stop whining.

But this is MY blog, and I'll whine all I want!

>> Sickness Update
I still am.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

First, a quick job update.

The interview went pretty well. They were impressed with my work history, to the point that they implied this position was beneath me. But, as I explained, while it may be a step back from some of the jobs I've had, it's a step forward from where I am now.

They'll interview until early next week, and let me know.

It's not my ideal job, but it's work that I can handle, and could possibly enjoy. So, we'll see.

Now, on to a few other things.

>> In my interview, I felt somehow different. Usually, I feel like this big fat guy that nobody else in the room could possibly respect. But yesterday, I wore a shirt that was big on me now, and that I could barely button a matter of five months ago. I, besides being sick, felt like the strong, intimidating 6' 8" figure I want to be. I felt good. It was nice, because it's a feeling I haven't had in some time.

>> Following Rob's lead, allow me to go back over some numbers. I had a 2-week plateau from the end of January to the middle of February. For those weeks, my average barely moved from the 324-325 area. Still, as I look back over the three months I've really been fighting this, I've lost an average of 9.3 pounds per month. What that tells me is this: Even though I'm not being perfect in this transformation, I've made enough major changes in my life to see some amazing results. I was so bad before, that even a few diet and activity improvements have begun to change my life. I know I'll have to pick this up a notch, soon. But until then, I feel good.

>> My next goal was to hit 315 on the scale. My diet has been great the last several days, and today, I came close to hitting it - albeit two weeks late. I weighed in at 315.5 this morning. That's some major motivation to be good and try to be a little more active today. Tomorrow would be a good day to hit a goal.

>> I'm still sick, and it's starting to piss me off. This cold will not let go of me, and I'm starting to worry about the cough. If I'm not better by early next week, I'll go see a doctor. I can't afford to take any more time off. Just in case, the diet gets extra attention.

>> Lastly, if I can keep on my diet and lose .7 more pounds, it'll put me over the 30 pound mark since November 23rd. That will place me at 30% of my total weight loss goal, and 34% of my modified goal, set when I weighed 347. Come a long way, but got a long way to go.

Also, Denver will be sunny and in the 60's this weekend, which means I'll be trying to get outside and play some basketball.