Just when I was beginning to think that the 310 I had last Sunday was a fluke, I was awarded with a 310.5 on the scale today.
Why the 313's had to hang around go long, I don't know. And I would be surprised if I've seen the last of them. Hopefully I'm wrong.
Now, allow me to indulge myself and complain for just a second.
Back in October, I was in downtown Denver for a meeting. The people I met with are the execs at Mile High Sports Magazine, where I currently work on a contract basis as their "web guy". At the time of this meeting, I weighed at least 347, likely a little more, as I hadn't started my transformation, yet.
Well, going into yesterday's meeting with the same people, I honestly expected to hear some comments about my weight loss. I even wore a shirt with vertical stripes to make me look taller and slimmer.
After the 45-minute meeting was over, I shook hands, said "see ya later", and headed for the door.
Not a word.
I don't know why it's so important to me that somebody notice what I've been doing and comment on it, but it is. I mean, I've lost 34 pounds since Thanksgiving. That's noticeable, right? I've lost almost 50 pounds since this time last year. That's good enough for some people to make it onto a Slim Fast commercial wearing old pants and holding the waistline out to show how "thin" they are now.
I've gone through some major changes in the last four months, and it sometimes feels like nobody outside of my apartment even notices. I've always been somebody who's needed positive reinforcement, and it makes it tough to feel motivated when I don't get it. I guess I just want somebody to recognize the changes, and be impressed with the effort.
Some of you have people from work who log on and comment. Others have family members. A few have both, it seems.
I guess I'm at a disadvantage. I'm in this house with a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old 50+ hours a week. I don't interact with anybody with my job, I have no friends to speak of, and my family - even though I've asked - won't take the time to read about what I'm doing here. I guess it's tough to find people to notice what you're doing when you don't know any people who care.
And here's where Old Kevin would grab some doughnuts and drown his sorrows. I barely contribute to this family financially anymore (and we have major needs right now), I have no personal life, my family is all about doing their own thing and expecting others to follow, I don't have a single friend in Colorado, and these two kids are the only people I talk to from 7am to 6pm every day. It's depressing. My family seems miserable, and there's nothing I can to do help it.
But New Kevin knows that what's going on around him should have no bearing on what he puts into his body. And so far it hasn't - luckily.
Even if I'm still lonely, poor, and half a man in four months, I'll be lonely, poor, and half a man who is in great shape.
3.29.2007
That's Better
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11 comments:
Well, first things first:
1. I really think what I said before applies. People who don't know you very well don't usually say anything about weight loss, even when they notice. And from the sounds of it, you had only met these guys once before, so they may just not really remember.
2. I also think a lot of people noticing has to do with how much you've lost from your face. Everyone loses from different places (my pants size has hardly gone down!) Becky and I seem to have had luck with the "face fat", I'm not sure to what extent you have.
3. People respond differently to different things. It seems like each of us has our own "Blog Persona", and people relate to all of them differently.
Rob is clearly the favorite, from what I can tell. Why? I dunno, maybe it's because he's always got a positive, motivational attitude that people like. Who knows?
4. You're selling yourself short. Sure, maybe you don't have a lot of money, and you've managed, so that's great. You also have a great wife and daughter who love and support you. I may have money for a gym and healthy food, but I don't have that. Which do you think is more important? Think about it.
Bottom line: Stop playing the victim and start taking responsibility for how you feel about yourself. Despite what you may think, you have everything going for you.
Sorry if that sounded harsh, but I guess that's just my style. You know what I'm talking about.
One more thing about your blog:
Try putting up a picture of yourself like the one that Rob and I have on the top right of the blog.
I really think it helps people relate to you as a person rather than just a bunch of anonymous words. That could have something to do with it as well.
Or it could scare people the heck away!
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin...
I think I said this before, but, you have a wife who is doing this transformation with you. That is amazing. At least your wife notices the changes in you.
Not a single person (including my wife) has noticed a difference in me. In fact, I told you about my cousin last month who said that my body will never change, I will always look like this.
Good thing is that I don't really care. I have this feeling that if I keep this up, eventually it will be like .. BOOM, my body changed :)
hahahahaha!
Not THAT picture! Something that makes you look human!
I think billy is right about people who know you not saying anything cause they dont know why you are loosing weight. Mabey you are unhappy with yourself and they dont want to draw attention to it. Others worry you may put it back on and dont want to comment. I heard of one guy who was in a situation like yours, he was loosing weight but nobody was saying anything. it was because one of his friends had started asking the others 'does he have cancer? he is loosing weight so fast'.
What you really want is for someone in the future who you know to not recognize you because the change was so significant.
And if you are reluctant to put up pics you can go decapitated like me :)
Carl
The guys at the magazine have known me for over two years - back when I was a "slim" 335. Then they saw me at 360, and yesterday at 311.
I just would have assumed I'd get some sort of comment.
Guess not.
New pic up.
Kevin,
I read your blog every day, and even though I am a long way away I can tell from the pics you are doing a great job. I am proud of you and I really hope you keep it up.
Dude, you have a lot going for you. You are a very talented writer, I just think you need to find some different outlets. Sportswriting is ok, but if you are the least bit creative it does get kind of dull and stifling. If you have a book idea, sit down and write it. I know it is hard when you don't have the time, but you have to approach writing the same way you approach weight loss. When it is somehting you care about you have to make time and you have to make it happen. Wake up at 5 in the morning if you have to. Collaborate with someone if that motivates you better. (I would love to work on a project together by the way) I know this is a weight loss blog, but I think I'm reading between the lines a little bit.
Don't give up. You are doing a excellent job and persistence is the key to making anything happen.
tj
T-
GREAT to hear from you, man. You guys should move out to Denver. Make me a very happy man.
Thanks for the comment.
If you want to work on something, I'd love to jump in!
Reading your post made me realise something. We all have things that we should be grateful for. You say you have no friends or social support nearby, and that you feel lonely at times. That's understandable. But on the other hand you have 2 kids. Some people would give their right arm for that privelage. OK they don't give you feedback and compliments on your fitness goals, but you will grow to see those children grow up into adults. Some people would give anything to have that.
At times when it's tough we need to look at what we HAVE got, not what we haven't.
I just got to this blog, but as I was reading it, everything Billy said was right.
You are selling yourself WAY short.
First off, if you work with a bunch of guys - you should know this. Guys don't notice anything. And if we do, we don't say it. The few people who say something to me at work are ALL women. They're much, much more perceptive - it's just how it works.
As for you feeling lonely, you have to be real careful about what you value in your life. It's already been said - but you've got an amazing wife who supports the hell out of you, and two kids that are amazing.
I'm with Billy. I've got a gym, and even a trainer. And you know something.. I'd trade it for two kids that love me in a heartbeat.
As much as you seem like you're 'jealous'.. you've got nothing to be jealous about. Look around you - you are SO blessed with what you have. Who cares if you don't have the 'money', or the 'gym'?
You're doing it. You're almost HALFWAY to a goal that 99.99% of people will NEVER achieve.
You're doing way too damn well to feel sorry for yourself. Embrace it.
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