30 Pounds Of Camera Equipment

That's what the ad said when I hit Google to find things that weigh 30 pounds. So, I have it on good authority that the picture you see represents the amount of weight out of my bod.

In summary? Today I crossed the 30-pound barrier. 30 pounds is almost 1/3 of my initial 100 pounds, and it's more like 35% of the 87 pounds I needed to lose as of Thanksgiving of '06.

Some thoughts on a milestone-ish day:

>> I miss working out.
I feel fine, except for when this cough gets me. I walk up stairs, I wrestle with my daughter, I run a few steps to sneak up on my other daughter...and the cough nails me. Following the cough is a headache, a chestache, and some serious anger that I can't shake this thing. I want to do pushups. I want to go play basketball tomorrow. I've been luck that my diet has been kept in check during this sickness, or else there's no telling what might have happened.

>> Depression?
I don't think I have it, as I truly believe people can control their reactions to circumstances, even if they can't control said circumstances. That said, I've been very down lately. I had my pay cut in half at my current job, I can't catch a break when interviewing for other jobs, I miss being a publisher, but I don't have the money to do it again, I have no friends outside of this house, I change diapers and make bottles 10 hours a day with no real outlet...It's been a tough stretch. I spent about 5 hours working on some behind-the-scenes things with my fictional magazine, and it helped a ton. Just proof that if I could get back to doing something I love, it could make a major difference in my life.

>> Preception
So, last week, I hadn't eaten anything all day, as I was rushing around to get some things done. I found myself very hungry while driving around, so I did something AWFUL and stopped at McDonald's. Before you panic, I had a couple of those grilled chicken snack wraps - so it was better than I could have done. But I realized something as I was eating - I didn't want people to look in my window and see me eating McD's and think "Yeah, THAT'S why he's so fat!" In reality, I was cheating by eating grilled chicken on a white tortilla. It was not my normal routine, and I didn't want anybody to think that all I ate was fast food, and I deserved to be fat. It's odd how you worry about how people view you when you're trying to make a big change.

That's it for today. Everybody keep trucking.