So, I've been somewhat obsessed with my most recent pictures. Not in a bad way, but in a "wow, I'm happy" way.
I mean, even the difference of 12 pounds from June 8 to July 27 is incredible. As Billy showed us all last week, the closer you get to your goal, the more noticeable even the smallest weight change becomes.
A month ago, I was convinced that I had to get down to 245 to look even close to where I wanted to be - and that very well may still be true. But after seeing the difference between 298 and 286, I'm no longer convinced. If I stick to my sprint swimming, add in some curls, and get back to my pushups, 260 might look pretty freaking nice.
So, let's assume that I do only have 26 pounds left to lose until I'm a point where I'm actually fit. What does that mean about my 'classification'? After years of always seeing myself as fat, I have a hard time looking at those pictures and thinking that I still am.
Chubby? Sure.
Overweight? Yeah, I think so.
But obese? Not anymore.
Fat? I could be wrong, but I don't think so.
Yeah, I said it. I'm not fat anymore.
Don't get me wrong. I'm in no way satisfied with where I am. I'm not content with being "not fat." I'm looking forward to seeing my next round of pictures 10 pounds from now, then 20, and finally, 26. I think I'll finally be able to look at myself and feel a little pride with what I see in the mirror.
To be honest, I have pride now. As we all know, this isn't easy. Working out? That's easy. Eating better? Easy. But we've taken it a step further than that. We've changed our entire lifestyle. We're re-creating ourselves. Or maybe we're just finally realizing who we are.
I'm Kevin, and I'm not fat, I'm a little overweight.
7.31.2007
I Might Be Out Of Line
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4 comments:
It's funny, I know exactly what you mean about being obsessed with your new pictures. I'm the exact same way, and I look at them frequently (my pictures, not yours handsome).
It's because I'm trying to hammer a new self-image into my head to replace the old prevailing fat one. And it's OK. You should be proud.
And it's great that you're starting to feel fit, not fat anymore.
I am a little concerned though about your bumping up your original goal of 245 to 260. I see no reason you can't hit 245 and be in awesome shape. Do you want to look like that wrestler guy you put your head on?
I just don't want you to settle for less than what you set out for, man.
260 was my original goal, but I started thinking I was going to have to hit 245 to look fit based on the fact that I still felt WAY fat. But after seeing the change from 298 to 286, I'm just wondering if 286 to 260 will be as drastic - especially now that I'm working out more and harder than I have for a while.
If I'm not happy with 260, I'll keep going. But if I look like I now think I may at 260, I'll be happy with that.
Cool- I misunderstood. It can be hard trying to figure out what your goal weight actually should be.
Billy and I were just talking about our obsessions lately. I'm the same way with pictures lately - which is ironic, because in my first blog I talked about how I avoided being in the pictures because I was ashamed.
For me, I'm still a ways away, but every once in a while when you get that good angle, a picture comes out that I'm actually happy with. Of course, the next one's always a profile pic and then I'm slapped back into reality.
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