Today Won't Be Easy

Today is the two year mark since my mom passed away - a victim of Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease.

As I mentioned in one of my first posts on this blog, watching my mom suffer from and eventually succumb to that disease was one of the driving forces behind my "inflation." Those three years were the three worst in my life.

I won't go into everything that AD did to my mom, as I honestly just don't have the stomach for it today. As it is, I can't shake the scene of her last few minutes.

And, as is my MO, all I want to do is sleep and eat. It's the closest thing to "depression" that I've known. This eats at me. I try to just focus on my day, but it's next to impossible. If I didn't have these girls here relying on me, I'd be in the fetal position on my bed, accompanied by a box of Little Debbie's and some cheeseburgers. Food is my comfort today. My wife is at work, my brother is at work, and my dad lives 1,100 miles away. It's just me here today.

But as hard as it will be, I'll make it through the food cravings. Partly because we don't have anything in the house to eat besides grains and proteins. But the point is, this whole thing is a life change. Which means I need to change EVERYTHING, especially when it comes to how I handle stress. Today will be a big challenge in that regard.

And, not to get too cheesy, but I know my mom would be pround of the changes I'm making, and I wouldn't want to let her down.