Weigh In: 296.4 (new low ???)
5-Day: 297.0 (back to 50 pounds lost)
The image says it all. It has not been a great few weeks in our home. As Beck mentioned in her post over the weekend, stress is everywhere for us, and it's taking its toll.
For the better part of the last four years, I've handled the stress great (not counting the whole 'eating for comfort' thing). I always managed a smile or a joke to help lighten the mood. I always seemed to have just enough strength to hold those around me as high above the stress as I could. But no amount of push ups can give you the strength to do it for this long.
I feel defeated. Things seem hopeless. Even as I'm working on a project that could make us very comfortable people, I don't have much faith that anything will come of it. For the first time since my mom died in 2004, I want to curl up in my bed and stay there for a day or three.
Life is like a movie trilogy. Think Star Wars. Episode IV was great. They rescue the princess, Luke meets Obi Won, Han becomes a hero, they blow up the Death Star. Episode VI was also a positive movie. Luke is a Jedi, the Emperor is killed, the galaxy is freed, Han hooks up with Leia.
Then there's Episode V. Nothing but bad in this movie. Their ice base gets destroyed, Lando betrays everybody, Luke gets his hand cut off and finds out his arch enemy is his dad, Han gets frozen in carbonite - and at the end, it shows the main characters looking out a window with a "what now?" look on their faces.
I feel like I'm in the second part of my life trilogy. This is where everything goes bad, and the audience is left hanging for three years until the third movie is released.
Shoot, I don't even know if the third movie has been written, yet. Maybe I'm supposed to write it. Maybe I'm supposed to direct it. Or maybe I'm just waiting, like everybody else, to see how the story ends.
Until then, I'm fighting hard in many areas of my life. So hard, that I feel like I'm being stretched too thin. Finances, kids, wife, job hunting, weight loss...all on the tip of the iceberg. I never used to doubt my ability to handle it all, and handle it well. But the doubt has crept in.
I don't have patience for anything, my level of understanding has dropped considerably, and my capacity for caring is pretty much drained.
Hey, at least I weighed 296.4 today, right?
6.19.2007
Beware.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
4 comments:
Control what you can control. The rest is going to happen however it's meant to happen.
You're looking at all the bad, and yet at the end you mentioned almost in passing that you hit a new low?
Hang in there.. and remember, when the 'bad' second movie in the trilogy ends, you've got the third one right behind. Jedi was pretty sweet, right?
Oh - and you can't forget Thunder Lips and Clubber Lang.
Sorry life is throwing you and Beck a curve ball right now. I am sure things will start looking up. Like I said on her blog "Good things happen to good people". On a Plus note it looks like you got blessed with a intelligent, attractive, cool wife and several beautiful children. I know that's a good thing cause I lucked out and got those things too :). I would imagine you are one of the main pillars in your family so keep your chin up man.
I see nothing but positive in this post: You are in the second phase, nothing but good things to look forward to. You have a promising business idea (btw shoot me an email about it, maybe I can help in some way). You lost more weight :) And don't forget the most important thing, you have a great family with a wife who is right there with you.
Post a Comment