Bench Pressing Earth

Lots going on around here, so not a ton of time, but I just wanted to let everybody know that I've gone back to my old school push up program in an effort to get back on track. I started last night, and instantly noticed the loss of strength and muscle endurance I've had over the last two months.

My thought here is to go with what works, and doing the sets of push ups scattered through the day, then adding in walks, runs, etc. worked wonders for me.

For those not aware, I simply do a set of push ups, go about my day, do another set, take care of the kids, do another set - until I end up doing roughly 100 - 150 or so push ups over the course of a day.

This is how I started my whole thing back a year ago, and I lost a lot of weight, and gained noticeable muscle doing it. I feel the need to go back to square one right now, so I am. For better or worse.

Here's to finishing this awful year strong.

Ugh...

And now if I can just lose this sore throat/cold/flu thing, I can actually DO the workout in the post below. Stupid sicknesses.

No major word on the Michigan thing - still hovering about 80% sure we're going to be out there in March sometime. And when we get there, HUGE housewarming party at our place.

Behold...The PLAN

Alright, so, it's Colorado, which means the blizzard could come at any second, and then again a few seconds after that, etc. Point being, working out in the outdoors of Colorado during the winter can sometimes be challenging. Of course, other days will be 50 and sunny.

Still, my options are limited, so I need to find something quick and easy to do to get back on track. So, leave it to Men's Health to give me something I can sink my teeth into.

Click to enlarge, if you'd like more detail. The Pistol Squats are going to be funny. Not "whee, this is fun!" funny. but more "look at that dude trying to do those" funny. 8-10 reps on each leg? Yeah, I'll be lucky to do 4-6 TOTAL for the first several weeks. But you have to start somewhere, I guess.

I'll do this 3 days per week as they suggest, and I'll try to get Becky to lace up the sparring equipment a few other nights per week so we can do something a little different.

I'm going to need some warm pants, some non-bulky gloves, and one of those cool Under Armour hoods to keep me from freezing out there. Maybe Santa can oblige...

Also, I'm back to 1,800 calories today, with 5-8 large glasses of water. No more screwing around. I haven't weighed myself in the last 4-5 days, and I think that's wise. If I see a number I don't like, it's more likely to disable me than it is to push me. So, I'll be perfect for five days, and THEN I'll weigh myself. I just need to focus on my performance for a while, and I don't want that number to get the way.

In other news, mainly for the Michigan branch of the Coalition, things look pretty good right now. The original reason we were trying to get out there is still being worked through, but Becky also has another, somewhat-related opportunity that seems to be presenting itself. We'll know more about that later today. But, if we had to put a number on it, we'd say that the chances of us being out there by early April are in the upper 80% range.

Stay tuned...

Checking In

Well, I have sucked yet again these last several days. Lots of stress that I have NOT been handling well. But we hope that will go away soon.

Met Rob for the first time ever after knowing him for four years, met Kristen for the first time since roughly 1995, when I likely ordered a Big bacon Classic from her at the Rawsonville Rd. Wendy's, and I met Melissa for the first time since ever. Significant others, too.

I just want to say that meeting you all was AMAZING. You've re-motivated me to get my butt moving again. You guys were all an inspiration to me last night, and I want to say thanks for that.

I hope it's not too much of an assumption to call you all my friends. You can always use more, right?

Still some potential big news today, and I'll fill you all in as soon as I know anything.

Talk to you all later!

Greetings from Meeeeechigan

Hope to have some major news and updates for the coalition on Sunday. Until then, aren't we cute?

http://www.antcliff.photoherald.com/

BiggerFatterWider

That's my new blog name.

Dude, I've been sucking like a Hoover the last two weeks. Thank GOD I'm only about a pound up from the last time I blogged, though I DID see two days where I saw 280.8 and 280.4.

It's bee a nasty three weeks. I worked out ONCE since I started my 12-week program, and I've put on a pound.

Food? No discipline. Working out? Too many excuses.

It's been ugly.

I'm leaving for Michigan on Tuesday afternoon, and my goal was to be under 270 by then. Well, that ain't gonna happen, people. My new goal is to just get back to the 272.5 I was at several weeks ago.

I find myself disappointed in who I've been these last couple weeks. I'm pissed at myself. Two days of 280's? Really? I mean, I actually feel fatter. My chest feels flabbier. My arms look scrawnier. The mirror has NOT been kind.

How do I let that happen? I have no idea, but it stops today.

By Tuesday morning, I WILL be AT LEAST 272.6 on my scale. I will have counted every calorie for five days. I will have done as many sets of push ups, curls, shoulder presses - whatever - as I can do by then. I'll get back to taking walks, or tossing a football.

I'll do everything I've been doing to get myself from 363 to 272.

And I'll do better about blogging. I just haven't cared enough to put thoughts down on cyber paper. But I'll blog every day between now and vacation.

There's a lot going on with us right now - some kind of stressful situations, and a lot of uncertainty about our future - but to blame my lack of focus on that would be wrong. My lack of focus is solely responsible for my lack of focus. Nothing else. Nobody else.

And so, here I go again with the reset button. It's helped in the past, so we'll see how it does this time around.

Wish me luck.

Not off to a Great Start

Eating has been great. Haven't topped 1,800 calories so far, which is good. But I haven't worked out at all to this point. It's been a mix of lack of time and lack of energy due to a lack of sleep. I did take the girls for a 2-mile walk yesterday to get them out of Beck's hair, but that's been about it.

Of course, my weight was WAY back up today, which makes perfect sense. Eat great, do something active, put on 1.4 pounds.

Stupid.

So, here's what I'm going to try to do over the next few weeks - until the Colorado Blizzard Season makes itself known:

> Sprint/Strength Circuits 3x Per Week
60 yard sprint, 25 plyo hops, 10 push ups, walk to starting point, repeat until death

> Dumbbell Workout 3x Per Week
Bench, row, curl, shoulder press, shoulder extension, straight dead lifts, squats. Use moderate weights and reps, 3 sets of each.

> Add in basic crunches and sit-ups on Weight Days

I'm hoping my dad doesn't know about this blog, but Beck and I are bringing our girls to him for a surprise early Christmas gift. We'll be taking a day off from Grand Rapids to head to Detroit to meet up with the Michigan branch of the Coalition at a Pistons game. My big goal right now, outside of getting to 260, is to be 10 pounds lighter on 12-9 than I was on 11-12, when I started this thing back up. That would mean that I'd need to weigh in at 267.4 - on a foreign scale - on the 9th.

100% doable.

So, I'm going to make a real effort to do my Cardio stuff this afternoon. We have a meeting at 3:30, and Beck and I both need to go do this today, so timing will be tricky. We'll do what we can, though.

Anyway, just wanted to get some thoughts on "paper," so I now return you to your regularly-scheduled blog-reading...

My 350th Post

Let's play everybody's favorite blog game...

Good News / Bad News!

Good News: Weight went down 2.6 pounds from yesterday, placing me back under 275 at 274.0.
Bad News: I STILL need to lose 3.2 pounds to get back to my lowest weight of the transformation.

Good News: No fire alarms last night.
Bad News: I was still up from 2-4, and I have no clue why.

Good News: I don't have any obligations today, so I'll have time for some sort of workout.
Bad News: I'm still feeling wiped out, so it ain't gonna be easy to push through.

Alright, enough of that.

Took my measurements Monday to start this 12-week stretch. Here are the comparisons to my last set of measurements on July 28th:

Neck:
18/18, no change

Chest:
49.75/49.5, -.25"

Bicep:
15.5/15.32, -.12"

Waist:
47/45.5, -1.5"

Hips:
43/41.5, -1.5"

Thigh:
24/22.5, -1.5"

That's about it, everybody. Another day in the fight we're all fighting. Just do the best you can today, and don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow. It's cliche', but let's all just take this things one day at a time. It's all we can do.

Day One - Ugh

Calories - 1,790
Workout - Nada

So, yesterday kind of blew. We were all over the place with work-related errands in the morning, then we came home, put the kids down for naps, and we each had some more work we HAD to get done.

Next thing we know, it's 4:30, and we have to walk over to Target, as we promised our oldest we'd so when she woke up. We got back home around 5:30, and I kept the kids busy while Beck made us some 3-bean turkey chili.

We eat at 6:15, finish up around 6:45, and now we're playing with the kids for a little while before work calls again. Now we're both back at work.

Fast-forward to 8:15, and it's sleepy time for the kids. The youngest needs some special attention to get her down (teething), so I keep the oldest busy while Becky deals with the baby.

It's now 9:00 p.m., and I put the oldest in bed. Now Beck and I are available, but we both realize we have some more things to do.

And now it's 11:00 p.m., and I need to unwind. So, I pop a game in the 360. Now, I know that I COULD be lifting right now, but it's been a long day, and I have nothing in the tank. I SHOULD have powered through and done what I needed to do, but I took the easy way out.

So now it's 1:30 a.m., and Beck and I are wiped out. So, we head to bed, and 45 minutes later our fire alarm goes off. It seems one of our downstairs neighbors was trying to knock a door down to beat his wife (all heresay), and she got out and pulled the fire alarm to get the police there.

So, from 2:15 to 2:45 our entire apartment building was filled with a constant, shrieking "BEEEEEEEEP-BEEEEEEEP-BEEEEEEEEP." The fire department finally got things turned off before 3, so we were all back to bed. Well, all except the baby, who decided she was pissed and was not going to go back to sleep anytime soon.

So, Beck tried to rock her out, and I stayed up as moral support. And it was 4:30 a.m. by the time we were finally back to bed.

And I was up at 9. I have NO energy, my eyes are blurry, I feel numb - it's not going to be a good day.

In good news, I did eat 100% clean yesterday, and my calories were right on track at 1,790. I could have had 1/5 of a slice of cheese if I wanted and still been at 1,800! Whee!

Here's to a better day today.

And to the many of us who are still struggling, I hope I can count on you to be here with me. I don't need comments, as I know I've been struggling to find time to comment on your blogs. But I still read, and I'm following along with all of you. I need you to be strong for me, and I'm going to do all I can to be strong for you.

Screw This Noise

It's back on tomorrow, people. Just like Rob, I weighed in before bed last night (Rob, we're MORONS), and I saw 280.0. Now, I dropped four pounds overnight, and I'm 276 this morning, so I've pretty much maintained over these last three weeks. But that 280 sucked the life right out of me, man.

Maintenance is cool, and all, but I can't worry about maintaining until I actually get to my goal weight.

The good news is that I feel the fire creeping back in. I told Beck we need to get the sparring equipment back out. I'm going to be laying out a dumbbell workout for each of us this afternoon. I'm back into my Under Armour addiction phase.

I mean, look at those dudes on the top of the page. The one guy is like, 100 years old. If a dude that's 100 years old can get that lean and strong, I sure don't have any excuses.

The other dude has HIV. One of the deadliest viruses in the universe, and he transforms like that.

Dang.

So, here's the deal. I STILL don't have a gym. I STILL can't afford a trainer or supplements. I STILL can't go to boxing training. It's me, my 100 pounds of dumbbells and my $7 dumbbell bench. Would I prefer to have access to any or all of those things? You bet. But I can't let my lack of extras stop me. I'm down 90 pounds without spending a single day in a gym, and I can drop another 20, if need be.

So, here's how it's going to work-

Dumbbell weight workout 3 days per week
HIIT Cardio (sprints? stairs? hiit sparring?) 3x per week.
Saturdays off

Goals-

Drop my final 16 pounds (more if needed)
Achieve noticeable toning improvements
Increase strength
Increase cardio endurance (mine still blows)
Achieve 90% or higher success over the next 84 days*

*I'm only shooting for 90% because of our schedule. When deadline week comes, things get NUTS. If I can stay at 90% those weeks, I'll kill this thing.

Misc.-

I will be counting calories - not portion sizes
I'll aim for 1,800 calories per day
No Myoplex or EAS supplements
I will be buying Kashi Go Lean Fiber/Protein rolls**
Saturdays off

**I'm choosing these because they're gross, so I won't be tempted to eat the whole box in one sitting, which I have been known to do before.

I started the process last night. I went to Wal Mart at 9pm last night to go get some snacks. Did I get SNICKER'S? Reese's? Ice Cream? Candy Corn?

YEP!

Just kidding. I bought us each a couple of Kashi bars. Lower calories than 2 candy bars, and lots of fiber and protein. The journey of 100 pounds begins with a single good decision. I think that was a pretty good one.

Also, idle note-

We took our kids trick or treating this year, and I saw something truly sad - kids walking, mom - HUGE mom - riding along side them in her car. Now, do I have all the facts? No. Is it possible she CAN'T walk? Sure. But, on the surface, it made me a little sad. Assuming she was driving out of laziness, I wonder if she's made the connection that that may be WHY she's so out of shape? I don't know, but I know I'll never be that way with my kids. Never.

That's it for today, kids. And a quick word of advice? DON'T WEIGH IN AT 11PM!

Later.

Go, Lions.

Weighing my Options

As usual, not a ton of time. But, I wanted to toss this out there and get some feedback.

I yanked out my old copy of Body for Life tonight and read a few pieces of it. While I don't agree with everything Bill Phillips preaches in that book, I do have to admit that a lot what he says rings true with me, and his training and eating focuses sound pretty reasonable.

I've tried BFL in the past, but I always quit after a week or so. Never saw it through. I'm wondering if, now that I've lost 90 pounds over the last year, if I'd be more apt to finish it this time.

Some of the positives:
BFL lays out a pretty good workout, of which, I could do about 80% of the exercises with my dumbbells.

I'm already down to 15 pounds to go to hit my goal weight, and spending 12 weeks focusing less on weight and more on working out and eating right could help get me focused.

The food that BFL suggests are now foods I'll eat. That wasn't the case the last time I tried this.

I'm just not sure. I can't afford the myoplex crap they want you to take, but maybe some Kashi protein and fiber bars for midday and evening snacks to replace them?

I'm not sure what I'm going to do next. I feel stuck in mud right now. No motivation, no energy, no desire or drive - it's bad, man. This is by FAR the worst funk I've been in since I started this thing.

Guess we'll see what happens, huh?

Anybody have any thoughts on the BFL program as it would relate to me at this stage? Or any general comments on it?

Still Plugging Away

It's been a crazy few days - a lot going on in the professional and personal words.

Quickly, I'm down three pounds in two days as my eating has finally leveled off. I'm hoping to get back on the weight bench tonight.

From here on out, it's just business. I have a job to do, and I'm going to do it. 259.9 by Christmas morning.

I gotta admit, it's gonna feel good to go from 6-8, 365 to 6-8, 259. I'm looking forward to it.

Motivation

This helps get me fired back up.

Damn.

To put it simply...

I've sucked.

Not a ton of time, but here's the basics:

Ate too much, didn't work out, put weight on, need to fix it.

I'm back up to 276.4. Two weeks ago I saw a 270.8 on the scale. The truth is, this could be MUCH worse. I tried to do well for about 2/3 of each day, but it was that last 1/3 that killed me.

So, here are my "back on the horse" goals:

By Thanksgiving Morning - See a 268.8 or lower on the scale
By 12-04 - See a 266 on the scale
By Christmas Morning - See a 259.8 on the scale

How will I do it?

Count calories again
Drink more water
Hit the weights again
Hit the sprinting again
Take walks with the family again
And keep my calories under 1,800

So, I'm back, I'm mad, and I'm determined. I'm hoping that produces some serious results.

I'm Swapmed

Still here, but wanted to explain my lack of blogging.

The company I work for (Score Publishing) produces Colorado Hockey Insider. Well, we also now publish Colorado Football Insider in print and online. And we're also working on putting together several other Web sites to cover other sports that will eventually turn into publications. And I'm trying to staff all of the papers and sites this week.

And it's deadline week.

So, getting a few minutes to come up for air is rare. Yet, here I am.

Otherwise, things are going alright. Hit a new low with a 270.8 yesterday, then ate pizza last night (moron), and was back up to freaking 273 this morning. Still somewhat sick, though I'm feeling better.

Things should get back to normal next week, and then it's on to 260.

Everybody take care!

Still Alive

Not only did I get Beck's cold, but I think I got the flu on top of it. So, I've been barely mobile the last four or five days. My days have consisted of getting up, changing diapers, making breakfast, and laying on the couch until bed time. It's bee awful.

Here's the awful news: When I'm sick, I CRAVE crap. I mean, I CRAVE it. Pizza, burgers, chinese, wings, cookies - I want it all. And this week, I ate it all. Our dinners were pathetic. We ate whatever we wanted. We didn't care.

The good news is that I'm only hungry once per day when I'm sick, so I pretty much only ate dinner all week. I had an occasional bowl of Wheat Chex or a sandwich, but mainly I just ate at dinner time. I didn't eat well, but that is all I ate.

The miracle is this: I only weighed myself twice in the last five days - Wednesday and today. On Wednesday (when I was hoping for something in the 276's), I saw a 274.0 - only .4 up from my average. I weighed myself again this morning, and I was even more shocked. I was hoping to match my 274 from Wednesday, and instead, I got a new low of 271.0.

Pure luck. It's all I can think of. No matter, I'll take it, thank my lucky stars, and press forward. I'm still feeling pretty nasty today, and it's deadline week with the papers (we have two, now), so I may wait until Monday to get back on the bench. I just feel way too weak right now.

So, thanks for the concern from everybody. I'm still here, and I'm closer than ever to my goal of 260. I can still be there by Thanksgiving, I think. Guess we'll see.

No Shame

Well, this is really my first weight-lifting experience since I started my transformation. It certainly felt like it.

First, I'm too damned tall for that bench. So doing my decline bench presses was almost impossible. My head was on the floor, my butt was 1/2-way down the back, and my calves were on the seat. Thanks God for my huge feet holding me on.

Second, dumbbells are tougher than push ups. It's cliche', but I was using muscles I didn't know existed to stabilize those things. I only had 44 pounds on each, but I did three sets of chest presses til I couldn't go any higher, and I followed up with a set of close grip presses, and a set of decline presses. I've NEVER done anything with the close grip, so I was MUCH weaker there than I'd care to admit. But it's a jumping off point.

I then did my curls, my shoulder presses, and my rows, with some decline sit ups mixed in. I have a long way to go with the sit ups. Again, like with weights, haven't done sit ups in MONTHS.

So, this makes me think about some things. I'm really kind of bummed that I'm this far behind everybody else. I wish I would have thought about going out to look for a bench like this sooner. A lot of what feels like wasted time has gone by.

Still, I'm excited to have done a real, weight-driven workout. I'm hurting right now. My arms are rubber, my core hurts, and my chest feels swollen - and those are all amazing feelings.

So, I have a Looooooooong way to go, and I understand that. But this is going to be fun. To be able to feel myself get stronger. To see true differences in my physique. To grow.

I'm going to enjoy the ride.

Editor's Note:

I flexed in the mirror when I was done, because I'm really still 19 inside, and my arms/chest/shoulders looked GREAT. I can get used to always looking that way.

Read the Post Below This One...

But also answer this question:

Does anybody know of a site that will show what exercises will work what muscles? A diagram with each move would be nice, and a dumbbell-specific chart would be ideal.

Thanks!

Also, here's the routine I'm starting today:

Dumbbell Workout - 3 Days Per Week

Chest Press - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Biceps Curl - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Shoulder Press - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Bent Over Row - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Triceps Kickbacks - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion
Decline Sit Ups - 3 sets of max reps to exhaustion

Sprint Intervals - 3 Days Per Week

Sprint 60 yards, perform 25 plyometric hops, walk back to starting point, repeat until passed out.

EDIT

Here's what I was looking for.

Merry Christmas to Me!

Ok, so some quickies, first.

After my nasty weight jump last week (I deserved it), my weight is steadily coming back down. I was 276 and change four days ago, and I was 273 and change today. Slowly but surely. I hope to eclipse my low of 272.8 very soon.

Anyway, Beck and I were able to do a little early Christmas shopping to get each other a few things we needed. You've all heard about her new shoes, but now it's my turn.

First, I got some jeans - 38's, baby. I think my official size is 39 as these are a little snug, but I'll be fitting into them well soon enough. Also got a 2XL shirt that I hope shrinks a little bit, as it's right on the line of too big. Yes, a 2XL shirt that is slightly too big. Mind-boggling.

Lastly, and most importantly, I got this:


Three positions so I can do just about everything, from benching to rowing to sit-ups. I only have about 120 pounds of weights and two dumbbells, but I'll do what I can with what I have. I'd like to move up to the nice Hex dumbbells, but those things cost more that I realized. For 50-pounders they were $30 per dumbbell.

The best news about this thing? It was at a local thrift store, and it cost a whopping $6.95.

Yes, $7.

Now, I start to build. I've been waiting for this for a long time.

This is gonna be fun.

I'll Be Back...

Eventually.

The 10th sucked, and I didn't feel like blogging. And today was crazy and non-stop. I'm hoping to have some blogging time tomorrow. Though, to be honest, you haven't missed much.

Later, gator.

GREAT News!

Mark Be Back

Words of Thanks

I just wanted to take a second to thank everybody for your comments over the last 48 hours or so. They ranged everywhere from supportive, to congratulatory, to brutally honest. Pretty much everything you'd expect from this group.

No matter what you said, it helped in some way, and I thank you.

This week is tough for me every year, but it seems worse this time around. I'm not sure what it is. My mom has been gone for almost three years, but it hurts almost as much today as it did the first time she wasn't here for her birthday. I've been all over the place emotionally this week. Angry, depressed, hyper, and several times I've just teared up and had to fight off the urge to bawl like a baby. And the whole "not hitting my goal" thing? Didn't help. But that one is on me.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know where I was right now. I hope it gets better next week. Like Stella and her groove, I need to get my focus back.

As for the crash dieting thing from yesterday, let me more fully explain.

In my mind, crash dieting is planning to eat whatever you want to eat one day because you can starve yourself the next, therefore there aren't any consequences. That is by NO MEANS what I'm doing. What I'm doing is more of a 24-hour detox than anything. If I screw up and eat tons of crap one day, I want to make sure I eat nothing but healthy stuff the next. So, if I screw up and have pizza, ice cream, burgers, Chinese, and candy corn on Tuesday, I'll be sure to have apples, oranges, carrots, salads, etc. on Wednesday. It's not a planned thing, and I'm still taking in calories. I'm not actually fasting.

I've done this maybe five times in the 11 months I've been doing this. Most of those times, I've done it in the middle of a clean eating week. I just do it to change things up in my diet. Yesterday, I was going to do it to give my body time to burn off all the other nasty carbs I'd eaten the night before. I'm still eating five times through the day, but instead of having a sandwich, or cereal, or grilled chicken, I'm having a couple of apples, a salad, or a plate of veggies.

I don't see how that's unhealthy for as often as I've done it, plus I know Vegans have pretty healthy lifestyles, and they eat that kind of food every day.

Everybody is entitled to their opinions, and that's cool by me. I just happen to disagree with those who feel I'm being unhealthy. Again, this would have been my fifth or sixth time doing this since last Thanksgiving, and I think the pic on the right speaks volumes about how healthy I'm being as I lose this weight. But I appreciate the concern.

By the way, I ended up getting too freaking hungry yesterday, and I ended up having a normal eating day. So the point ends up being somewhat moot, I suppose.

So, Beck and I are off to family free day at the Denver Zoo! Everybody have a great day.

EDIT

One more pic, then I'll stop. Maybe.

Ignore the goofy expression, and focus on the slimness that is the K-Dog. I'm not holding anything in, I'm just using good posture. It makes me think hitting 260 then focusing on building from there (hat tip, Marcol) could be an option.

F-

First, let me say that I'm ashamed of myself this morning. I let myself down, and I let those who have been rooting for me down, and I'm sorry.

On Saturday I went to run the stairs, but they were being worked on, so it wasn't going to happen. Instead, I went to a soccer field, and I ran 60-yard sprints, did 25 plyometric hops, walked back to the starting point, and repeated. I did eight of those, then ran back to my truck about 1/4-mile away, and up a hill. My legs are STILL sore. It was a great workout.

Then came Sunday.

I woke up, needing to have lost about .7 pounds to stay on pace to hit my 269.8 by Wednesday morning. Instead, after a day where I worked my ass off, and ate 110% clean, I put ON .6 pounds. Not a great start to the day.

About an hour later, I was playing with my daughter (she just turned one, and easily weighs 30 pounds), and I felt my back pop and go into spasms. Same thing I fought off last month, but not until after it had sidelined me for a couple of weeks. So, now I've put ON weight, and I can barely move, so working out is not an option.

So, I go through the day eating clean - again. Nothing but healthy foods all day long. So, I weigh myself in the evening to see how things are looking. I can usually tell how the next day's weigh-in will look based on my evening weigh-in, as my body follows pretty predictable trends.

I was 281.6.

And this was HOURS after I had eaten anything. I mildly freaked out, and waited for a little while. I went back in about 2 hours later, expecting to see a MUCH lower number (again, my body trends certain ways, and it's always a great indicator of where I'm heading), and I was still high - 279.0.

I lost it. I mean, I just lost it. My weight was awful, my back went out again, I ate clean and just packed on weight all day - and I'm not handling the whole missing my mom thing too well this week. It was like The Perfect Storm.

So, if my body was going to piss me off and screw with me, I was going to show it what happened when it did. So, I ate like I hadn't eaten in days. Cereal, PB sandwich, candy, chicken - if it was in my reach, I took it out.

I went to bed ashamed and disappointed in myself, and that's how I woke up. Well, ashamed and sick. But that's what I get.

I am so sorry to everybody counting on me to get to 269.8 this week. I never should have let this happen. I knew what I was doing, and I chose to screw myself over by adding to the problems instead of fighting through them. I'm better than that. Seriously, I owe you all an apology.

So, I'm not even weighing myself today. I can't handle what I'm sure to see. Instead, I'm going on a controlled fast. Nothing but fruits, veggies and water all day. My plan is to stay under 700 calories so my body can work all of that crap out of its system.

My back is still killing me, too. I was tossing and turning all night from the pain, and standing straight up is tough. But I lost 11 pounds in September only working out 4-5 times all month because of this exact problem. So, I can do it, again. I'd prefer to go run and do some push ups, but it'll have to wait.

I will hit 269.8, hopefully this week. I'll fight through this, because I have to. I can be nine pounds from my goal if I just focus and do what I need to do.

And for an early Christmas gift, Beck and I will be going out to look for a simple dumbbell bench and some dumbbells. We have room for a small set in our room. Then, I can work like I want to and starting adding some meat to this frame.

But, one step at a time. I need to get this crap out of my system and get my sorry butt to 269.8.

As Rob Suggested

I had to see...

Thanks to everybody for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

Show Off Saturday

Went to Target.
Checked out the clearance.
Found some size 38 shorts.
They were $4.
Haven't worn 38's since Beck and I were dating.
My wedding pants were 40's.
Pictures follow.
Whee!

Holy crap! I'm wearing 38's for the first time since August of 2001!


And here, it looks like I'm showing off my "you-know-what." But I'm just showing off my size 38's. And my calves. I have nice calves.


And this is me - wearing size 38's - looking like I'm content to be 272. But I'm not. Think how much better I'll look at 260!

And this ends today's edition of Show Off Saturday. Feel free to drop by Beck's blog for more showing off!

Not Much Going On

Hit a new low again today, so I'm still moving forward. I weighed 272.8, which means I have to lose exactly three pounds in four days to have a shot at 269.8 Wednesday morning. Feasible, but not absolutely likely at this point. And I'll only be aiming for a weigh in of 269.8, as my 5-day has no shot at getting to 269 by Wednesday. But I just want to see the number on the scale.

I also crossed the 85-pound lost mark on my 5-day. Pressing toward 90.

I took yesterday off from any cardio/strength work, but I'll double up today. I'm going to go run the stairs while Beck and the girls are chilling out, and I'll do several sets of push ups throughout the day.

As always, I'd prefer to go to my boxing class, hit the gym, get the boys together to play some football, etc. - but do the best with what you have, right?

I did fight off a MAJOR craving last night, which I'm happy about. Beck and I were both drooling at the thought of candy corn (one of our autumn weaknesses), so much so that Beck considered picking a bag up when she ran a quick errand to Wal Mart. But we both know we have goals we want to hit this month, and, for me especially, one slip up could screw me up for good right now.

So, we said no, ate 100% clean, and replaced candy corn with a big glass of ice water.

I ended up at 1,596 calories yesterday, which I'm pretty happy with. I'm going to have to hang pretty close to that through Tuesday to get me to that magic number. I'm considering one controlled fast day - maybe Monday. Not sure, though. Some days they work, others, they just make me really hungry. Guess it'll depend on my weigh in that day. If I'm at 271.4 or something Monday morning, I may give it a shot.

I'm getting excited about getting under 270. That will put me less than 10 pounds from my original goal weight. That's good and all, but it's becoming more and more obvious to me that 260 isn't going to get me where I need to be. Not by a long shot. I'm pretty sure I'm looking at another 30 pounds - which is shocking to me. At 239, I looked anorexic. I really did. It was pathetic. I'm sure I have more lean muscle mass on me these days, so maybe it won't be so bad. But I'm a little scared of getting that low. I've been told by my old DR. that my ideal weight is between 250 and 260 based on my body composition, bone density, etc. But there's no way 255 is my fit weight.

But I guess I'll figure all of that out in November. I still have about 12 pounds to go before I start reassessing.

Have a great weekend, all.

Here are my updated stats:

Weigh-In: 272.8 (New Low!)
5-Day: 274.04 (New Low!)
Lost since 9-1-07: 12.36
Lost per Day since 9-1-07: .36 pounds
Pounds to 269.8: 4.24

In Reach - I Think

Weigh-In: 273.2 (New Low!)
5-Day: 275.08 (New Low!)
Lost since 9-1-07: 11.32
Lost per Day since 9-1-07: .37 pounds
Pounds to 269.8: 5.28

I'm starting to think I have a shot at hitting my 269.8 by the 10th.

Beck and I too the football to the big soccer field by our place yesterday, and I made her work me pretty hard.

No, not like that.
Pervs.

I was running crossing routes, and she was leading me a little extra far so I'd have to kick it in to get to the ball. And when we were done playing catch, I ran the hill by the field several times. It's maybe a 40-foot hill on a 45-degree incline. Nothing major, but it made me work, and I'm a little sore today.

I also ate 100% clean yesterday, and drank a good deal of water.

I was rewarded with a new low on the scale, a 273.2. That's down 1.4 pounds from yesterday, though it only took .12 pounds off of my average.

Still, seeing a 273.2 means I'm within 3.4 pounds (going by weigh in) of getting where I need to be. I don't think the average will make it under 270 by next Wednesday, but it could get close.

Sorry if I come across a little "me-focused" on these last few blogs. It's just that there is nothing more important to me (weight-loss-wise) than hitting this goal. It's something I HAVE to do.

And now, I think I might be able to do it.

And Iran

I just had to share. I love that thing. Samberg is SAVING SNL.

Anyway, I hit the stairs yesterday. It's a flight of 92 steps, with about 4 10-15' breaks in between them on the way up. I ran them down, up, down, and up, then took a break. I ran them down again, then I jogged to the far side of the soccer field, sprinted back, then went up the stairs one more time.

So, a total of 552 steps, 100 yard sprint, and a 1/4-mile jog.

Not TOO bad, I guess. I was hoping to sweat my tail off, but Denver is just too nice. It was 60 with a cool breeze out of the mountains. Perfect.

Though I do wish I would have taken water. I was hurting.

As for my weight, it was down 1.2 pounds from yesterday, so I'll take it. Though I still have a long way to go to hit my 269.8 by next week.

My updated stats:

Weigh-In: 274.6
5-Day: 275.2
Lost since 9-1-07: 11.2
Lost per Day since 9-1-07: .34 pounds
Pounds to 269.8: 5.4

The Importance of 10-10

So, a couple of months ago when I laid out my "Better, Faster, Stronger" motto and goals, I put down that I wanted to be at 269.8 by Oct. 10. It wasn't on purpose that I chose that date, it just happened to be where the numbers landed.

Usually when I set a goal, it's important to me, no matter what. Do I always hit them? Nope. But I always strive to hit them. Well, this one is extra important to me, and if I don't hit it, I'm not sure how I'll react.

Oct. 10 would have been my mom's 60th birthday.

There are a few things that go into this being so important.

For one, most of the weight I gained was put on within a year of my mom passing away. I was roughly 280 when Beck and I got married. When our oldest was born two years later, I was 323. My mom passed away three weeks after Riley was born. By the end of that year, I was 365. So it took me two years to put on my first 40 pounds, and it took me less than 10 months to put on my next 40. Gee, think I may have turned to food after my mom died?

So, hitting a weight loss goal on the day we would have been celebrating her birthday makes it that much more important to me.

Second, and this one sounds odd, it's like I don't want to let that date down. 10-10 has been an important day for me since I was old enough to know what a birthday was. If I fail to hit a goal on a day that means so much to me, it's like I'm insulting the date, or, like I said, letting it down. I don't want to do that. I know. That sounds weird.

And of course, it's my mom's birthday, so I obviously want to do something "in her memory," or "for her." I know she's gone, but I also know she'd want me to be healthy and happy. So I think of it kind of like it would have been a nice gift for her.

I don't know. I feel like I'm rambling, and this blog is actually tough to write. Anytime I'm open about losing my mom, it's tough. She was stolen from us for NO good reason. No good came from watching her suffer for all those years. No good came from her having early onset Alzheimer's. Nothing. When I think about it, I get equal parts sad and angry. What happened to her, and in turn, to our family, wasn't right. It wasn't fair.

But it's over now, and I need to move on the best I can.

Anyway, so I want to hit 269.8 on the scale at least once in the next eight days. I don't feel too good about it, as my weight has leveled off in the lower 276's and upper 275's the last few days. But I'm going to give it all I can. I'll drive over to the steps today. I'll eat 100% clean today - and for the next 8 days.

If I'm not at 269.8 next week, the blame won't be able to fall on my effort.

So, let's see what I can do, shall we?

Purchasing an Accomplishment & It's the Terrorists Fault

No weigh-in, yet. Hoping there's still some bathroom activity to come. You're welcome for the mental image.

So, Beck and I took the kids out to run a few errands yesterday, and we ended up at the local Dick's Sporting Goods. I have a serious Under Armor fascination, so I always make sure to go look at what I hope to someday be able to fit into.

I came across a shirt very similar to the one pictured above, and it was an XXL. I picked it up and looked at it, and I could tell it was still too body-hugging for a fella of my size. Still, I decided to try it on standing there on the sales floor. I kept my undershirt on while I had the UA shirt on, so it felt a little lumpy, but damn if the thing didn't fit! Not only did it fit, but the look on Beck's face told me that it looked pretty good. So, I made my way to the closest mirror and took a look.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't claim to look like Vernon Davis under that shirt, but what I saw DID surprise me. I looked good. I don't think I look good in ANYTHING that tight. But yesterday? I loved what I saw in that mirror. It hugged my chest and shoulders so well that it made me look like I HAD a chest. And while it was a little snug around my midsection, that shirt showed me that my midsection ain't what it used to be.

See, when I started this last year, one of my unspoken goals was to be able to wear some UnderArmor clothing, and have it look like I deserved to wear it. So, in a way, I accomplished a goal yesterday. I can't tell you how good I felt.

I didn't buy the shirt, as I could not justify spending $35 on a shirt I couldn't really wear anyplace besides a workout, but I REALLY wanted to. I don't think I've ever spent that much on a shirt before. It's possible I never will. But that was as close as I'd ever come before. Like the title of the blog says, it would have been like purchasing an accomplishment.

In other news...

I've decided that running stairs is going to be huge for me. It'll be somewhat low-impact on my surgery foot, great cardio work, and it will improve my fast-twitch fibers in my lower body. Plus, it'll give me a nice booty. Well, nice-ER. So, I got up yesterday, got dressed, and headed to our local high school football stadium. I was visualizing myself running the stairs, working up a sweat, stopping between runs to do some push ups - I was getting pumped.

So, I pull in and find the stadium parking lot gated shut. So I parked and walked over to the stadium - which was also freaking locked.

Not to be so easily defeated, I got in the Durango and headed to the other local high school, about 10 miles down the road.

Guess what?

Locked up.

When I was 19, I lived in Ann Arbor - about 10 minutes from Michigan Stadium. Back then, I used to go up there twice a week to run the steps. Michigan Stadium. And now I can't get into Thornton High?

It's very possible that the Big House is no longer open to runners, I suppose. But there used to be 15-20 of us in there running at the same time. Players would be on the field working out, media members were sitting in the stands eating lunch...Michigan Stadium.

But I can't find any stairs to run because everything is locked up.

I blame terrorists.

Happy Birthday!

My youngest turns one today, and I'm worlds healthier then I was a year ago today. That's a nice gift - for me. Now she'll be stuck with me for years and years.

Anyway, happy first, Gracie!

If you haven't already, please post your weight and body % lost on the post below this one. Thanks!

Today's Stats:

Today's Weigh In: 273.8 (NEW LOW!)
Average Weight: 275.6 (NEW LOW!)
Weight lost today: 1.0 pound!
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .37 (+.05 )
Days Left: 53
Weight Remaining: 15.6
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 8.6 pounds
Pounds Per Day to hit 260 by 11/22: .29 Pounds
Total Weight Loss: 84.4 Pounds

Perspective

Today's Weigh In: 275.6
Average Weight: 276.6 (NEW LOW)
Weight lost today: .80 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .34 (+.02 )
Days Left: 54
Weight Remaining: 16.6
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 7.6 pounds
Pounds Per Day to hit 260 by 11/22: .30 Pounds
Total Weight Loss: 83.4 Pounds

I thought today would be a good time for a little perspective.

In December of 2005, Beck and I decided to try to start losing some weight. We were both lard-o's, and we wanted to be healthy for our (then) only child.

I was in the mid 360's, Beck was in the upper 220's. We needed work.

We were into Biggest Loser at the time, and we saw what was possible with some effort. So, we started eating better, doing on-the-wall push ups, etc. After 10 days of working out, I had "only" lost four pounds, and Beck had "only" lost three.

Crushed by our lack of progress, we quit.

We were uneducated, and TBL was misleading. To this day I still hold a grudge towards the show because of the false hope it gives so many newbies just starting out on their transformation journey. But that's another post.

At one point, Beck and I went for a walk with our daughter. It was a 1.5 mile trip, and I barely made it. I was begging to go home at the half-way point. That night, I woke up with incredible cramping in my legs, and I could barely walk for three days.

It's one of the lowest points in my life.

Fast forward to today. Since then (I'm starting at a weight of 360), I have lost a total of 83.4 pounds, which translates to 23.1% of my body weight. I still have anywhere from 16 to 36 pounds to go, but I am endlessly proud of what Beck and I have accomplished since that period in our lives.

Beck is down 58 pounds, and 25.8% of her starting body weight. She's been amazing.

This entire Coalition has been amazing.

So, today? Sound off. How much weight have you lost on your journey, and what kind of % does that end up being? Post it here or on your blog, but post it for all to see.

Be proud today. We deserve it.

FAT's Running Totals:

Pounds Lost - 505.2
% lost (average) - 23.5

Allow me to explain...

So, several posts ago I wrote about how I decided that 260 was mediocre, and I wanted to look GOOD. Where did that change of opinion come from?

Fight Night 3 on the XBOX 360.

Again not much time, but I wanted to toss these out there.

I "created" myself as a boxer on this game (it looks nothing like me), and my mind started wandering.

"Could I really look like that? I could deal with a chest like that, and abs like those."

And so, here's the cyber version of KA, at roughly 235 muscular pounds.

"Me" after a training session. I'm so tough!


Here "I" am pre-fight. I'm so sexy!


Here, "I'm" dodging some punches. I'm so athletic!

Print Day

Going to print today, so no time to post or comment, but here are my stats for the day.

Today's Weigh In: 274.6 (NEW LOW - WOOHOO!!)
Average Weight: 277.4
Weight lost today: .12 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .32 (+.00 - yikes)
Days Left: 55
Weight Remaining: 17.4
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 6.8 pounds
Pounds Per Day to hit 260 by 11/22: .32 Pounds
Total Weight Loss: 82.6 Pounds

OK, That's Better

The meaty post is below this one, so feel free to check it out. I just weighed myself, and I made out OK compared to what I was expecting. I'm actually still on track to hit 260 by Thanksgiving. Barely. Tomorrow, a 275.2 drops off, so getting close to that tomorrow would be helpful.

Today's Weigh In: 276.0
Average Weight: 277.52
Weight lost today: .12 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .33 (+.01)
Days Left: 56
Weight Remaining: 17.52
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 6.68 pounds
Pounds Per Day to hit 260 by 11/22: .31 Pounds
Total Weight Loss: 82.48 Pounds

Calling Somebody Out...

Until my other site is set to go, I'll post some updates here when I have five minutes or so. If you all don't mind.

Today, I want to call somebody out who truly deserves it!

Becky.

Hey, loser! Why did you buy that Halloween candy?? Why did you bring a big old bag of Reese's PB cups into the house?? And why did they accompany a bag of candy corn?? What have you done to me???

I hate Halloween. Mainly because I love the freaking candy. So, when Becky decided to bring some candy into the house to test the "new" us, I was OK with it. Surely I could have A piece and leave it at that, right? I mean, after 10 months of this journey, I must have learned something.

Well, the good news is that those bags of candy lasted three full days! The old us would have devoured those things in one night.

The bad news is that those bags of candy only made it three days. I did most of the damage, and I have deservingly paid the price, as my weigh-in has shown over the last few days.

Whenever I start thinking I'm indestructible, it seems that's when I screw it all up.

I mean, I had 269 in my sites. I could have hit my goal of 269.8 by October 10. And then I go and eat 2/3 of two bags of candy in three nights. I went from being proud of losing 10 pounds in a month to hoping I can get back to having lost eight. My average went up a full pound in just four days. That's failure right there.

This weight loss thing really is simple. When I count calories, drink my water, and keep my focus, I lose weight. I just don't get why I allow myself to lose said focus so often. I KNOW I could be at 260 by now, but I've done this so many times that it has set me back a good two months. Maybe more.

So, today I will go through a controlled fast, aiming to stay under 1,000 calories. I'll drink my water (Beck's Women's Health said you should drink half your body weight in ounces - so I need to aim for about 138 ounces per day). I'll get the weight loss train moving in the right direction again.

I need to end September strong. It's been a great month for my weight loss, and I need to keep it that way. Can I see a 273.8 or lower on the scale in the next four days? That's my goal. Guess we'll see. If I can do it, that puts me in GREAT position to hit my 269.8 by October 10.

That date is really important to me. I don't want to miss this one.

Guess we'll see.

Stats coming later.

Striving for Mediocrity - Part II

Let's try this again. My edits are in bold.

That's what I've been doing.

When I started this whole thing, I kept saying that I didn't need to look like a Men's Health cover model, I just wanted to be healthy. And every time I said that, I meant it. I just wanted to get to 260, say I lost 100 pounds, look good in pictures, and call it a day.

But when I was 260, I still had a belly. I had to change my shirt in front of Beck while we were just starting out dating, and I was embarrassed and ashamed. Why do I want to look like that?

And it dawned on me that the only difference between me still looking pudgy at 260 and me looking slim and solid at 230 or 240 was my willingness to get there. Striving for 260 is only striving for mediocrity.

I can be more.

And so, I'm now striving to look good. Maybe not Men's Health good, but good. Low body fat. Broad chest. Solid arms. You know...GOOD.

The last few days have not been good. My average is back up about 1.5 pounds, and my eating has been careless and lazy. I've been stressed out with deadlines, kids, and finances, and the whole "comment-gate" thing annoyed me to the point that I took a day or two off from caring.

I'll go to my grave thinking that it's messed up that you stop supporting somebody who is working their ass off because it's been a few weeks since they left a nice comment on your blog. And I still don't get why when person A loses 75 pounds they get a ticker-tape parade (a very well-deserved parade, of course) and 15 comments telling them how amazing they are, and when person B loses 80 pounds after struggling for weeks, he barely hears a thing. But I see where people are coming from, I suppose. But let's not open that door again today. Dear Lord, that ship has way sailed. That's my own crappy self-esteem telling me I'm not as good as anybody else. Something I've been fighting since I was 13.

Just another issue with myself that I need to fix.

Plus, everybody has weighed in on it, and I now know why people stopped posting here.

This is my final post on this blog. I need to switch things up, shift my focus, and hunker down. When Beck gets through this deadline push, she's going to be turning my personal blog (www.kevinantcliff.com) into the home of "Better-Faster-Stronger." I'll be continuing my journey over there. I've let it slip, and I want to start using it again, so this is what I'm doing. I will still be an active member of the Coalition (unless I'm now booted out), and I'll be adding everybody to my sidebar. I'm not quitting, I'm just moving.
If you want to add me and visit, great. I would gladly accept the support. But if you prefer to allow me to slip off into oblivion and never think of me again, I'm fine with that, too. I get the feeling that, even before the mess in Part I, that there are some people who are done with me. That's unfortunate, but I won't fault them for it. I have to stop worrying what others think of me, and just get out there and do what I need to do.

As for my weight, I'm still pushing for 260. I'm still hoping to recover from my recent slump and get there by Thanksgiving. My back is feeling better, so I'm going back to my old-school method of weight-loss: Push ups, sit ups, eat well, go for walks, etc. - do what I can with what I have. It's not ideal, but it took me from 360 to 278, so there's something to it.

Should be interesting, huh?

Striving for Mediocrity

That's what I've been doing.

When I started this whole thing, I kept saying that I didn't need to look like a Men's Health cover model, I just wanted to be healthy. And every time I said that, I meant it. I just wanted to get to 260, say I lost 100 pounds, look good in pictures, and call it a day.

But when I was 260, I still had a belly. I had to change my shirt in front of Beck while we were just starting out dating, and I was embarrassed and ashamed. Why do I want to look like that?

And it dawned on me that the only difference between me still looking pudgy at 260 and me looking slim and solid at 230 or 240 was my willingness to get there. Striving for 260 is only striving for mediocrity.

I can be more.

And so, I'm now striving to look good. Maybe not Men's Health good, but good. Low body fat. Broad chest. Solid arms. You know...GOOD.

The last few days have not been good. My average is back up about 1.5 pounds, and my eating has been careless and lazy. I've been stressed out with deadlines, kids, and finances, and the whole "comment-gate" thing annoyed me to the point that I took a day or two off from caring.

I'll go to my grave thinking that it's messed up that you stop supporting somebody who is working their ass off because it's been a few weeks since they left a nice comment on your blog. And I still don't get why when person A loses 75 pounds they get a ticker-tape parade and 15 comments telling them how amazing they are, and when person B loses 80 pounds after struggling for weeks, he barely hears a thing. But let's not open that door again today. That's my own crappy self-esteem telling me I'm not as good as anybody else. Something I've been fighting since I was 13.

Just another issue with myself that I need to fix.

This is my final post here. I need to switch things up, shift my focus, and hunker down. When Beck gets through this deadline push, she's going to be turning my personal blog (www.kevinantcliff.com) into the home of "Better-Faster-Stronger." If you want to add me and visit, great. I would gladly accept the support. But if you prefer to allow me to slip off into oblivion and never think of me again, I'm fine with that, too. I have to stop worrying what others think of me, and just get out there and do what I need to do.

As for my weight, I'm still pushing for 260. I'm still hoping to recover from my recent slump and get there by Thanksgiving. My back is feeling better, so I'm going back to my old-school method of weight-loss: Push ups, sit ups, eat well, go for walks, etc. - do what I can with what I have. It's not ideal, but it took me from 360 to 278, so there's something to it.

Should be interesting, huh?

Big 10

Today's Weigh In: 275.2 (INCREDIBLE NEW LOW)
Average Weight: 276.88 (new low!)
Weight lost today: .80 pounds!!!!
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .45 (+.13)
Days Left: 60
Weight Remaining: 16.88
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 7.32 pounds
Pounds Per Day to hit 260 by 11/22: .28 Pounds
Total Weight Loss: 83.12 Pounds

> 10.6 pounds down for the month by individual weigh-ins.
> 1,600 calories appears to be my magic number.
> Just think what I'd be doing if I could work out.
> If a man blogs about his accomplishments, but nobody is around to read it, did it really make a sound?

Deadline Week.

Not much time, so here are the highlights:

Today's Weigh In: 276.6
Average Weight: 277.68 (new low!)
Weight lost today: .92 pounds!!!!
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .43 (+.11)
Days Left: 61
Weight Remaining: 17.68
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 6.52 pounds
Pounds Per Day to hit 260 by 11/22: .28 Pounds

Hungry Like a Wolf

Today's Weigh In: 277.8 (yikes)
Average Weight: 278.6 (new low)
Weight lost today: .20 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .40 (+.08)
Days Left: 62
Weight Remaining: 18.6
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 5.6 pounds
Pounds Per Day to hit 260 by 11/22: .3 Pounds

I ate a lot last night. I mean - a lot. Nothing majorly bad, though. The worst thing I had was sugar free, low fat ice cream sandwiches that were 140 calories. Everything else was PB sandwiches, shredded wheat, and a handful of animal crackers.

OK, I guess those weren't great, either.

If I go back and look, I don't think I ate enough to put me too much over 2,400 calories. That's higher than I want to go, but I don't get how it upped my weight by over a pound.

I can deal with that, I guess, but my concern is the hunger I had last night. It wasn't cravings, either. It was genuine hunger. Like, stomach-growling hunger. No matter what I ate, I was still hungry. This is the second time this has happened to me since 9/6, and I'm not a huge fan of it, to be honest.

Here's my theory as to why it happens:

Since 9/6, I've been averaging around 1,750 calories per day. My RMR (last time I checked it) was 2,400 calories. Some days I eat 1,900, others I'll take part in a controlled fast and only take in 700. Only three days out of the last 20 or so have I topped 2,000.

I'm guessing my body was just letting me know I needed more food?

That's all I can think of. But I don't feel hungry when I'm eating 1,750. I don't feel hungry (most days) when I only take in 750. But once every two weeks or so, it's like all the hunger I should have been feeling shows up, and off I go into the kitchen.

So, do I eat more? Skip the controlled fasts? Just keep doing what I'm doing and fight through the hunger?

I Can't Be Stopped

Today's Weigh In: 276.4 (new low)
Average Weight: 278.8 (new low)
Weight lost today: .80 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .42 (-.10)
Days Left: 63
Weight Remaining: 18.8
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 5.4 pounds
Pounds Per Day to hit 260 by 11/22: .29 Pounds

I have now taken exactly seven pounds off of my 5-Day in September. From weigh-in to weigh-in, I've now lost 9.4 pounds this month. I am 6.6 pounds from my goal of hitting 269.8 by October 10th - a goal that I was 11 days off the pace of 7 days ago.

I've become a determined, driven, focused machine. Even without the ability to work out, I'm pressing forward at (what I see as) an impressive pace.

I cannot be stopped. I will not be stopped.

This is my best month of weight loss so far, and I'm doing it with pulled muscles, less time, and more stress.

None of that matters. I'm making myself better, faster and stronger - no matter what.

Another Day

Today's Weigh In: 278.4 (new low)
Average Weight: 279.6 (new low)
Weight lost today: .35 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .38 (-.06)
Days Left: 64
Weight Remaining: 19.6
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 4.6 pounds

For Me

Just a reminder, Kevin.

Yes, you struggled a little over the weekend. It happens. But focus on the positives.

You topped the 80 pound lost mark today. Might not seem like a big deal to some, but you know how proud you felt when you saw that number. Eighty pounds is even more amazing when you remind yourself that you had no gym, no trainer, no in-home weights, two kids to watch, and tons of personal issues you had to fight through.

Your BP is PREFECT. You were a 29-year-old father taking BP meds to keep you from having a heart attack. Now your BP couldn't get any better if you tried. 118/78! You deserve some praise for that. To go through the kind of stress your family is going through, and to be able to change your life to that extent is amazing. Don't let anybody make you think otherwise.

You set out to lose .32 pounds per day for 76 days. That is a lofty goal. You weren't sure you could do it, and I'm sure others had their doubts, too. Yet, after 11 days, and after a weekend in which you weren't perfect, you sit here today still BEATING the .32. You're losing .39 pounds per day, man. That's ANOTHER impressive feat.

And, don't look now, but you are UNDER 20 pounds from your original goal of 260. You lose another 19.95 pounds, and you've achieved what you thought was impossible 9 months ago.

Don't beat yourself up over two bad meals. Don't blame yourself for a pulled back muscle that is limiting you. Don't let a lack of interest from others slow you down.

You're doing this for you.

So do it.

Average Weight: 279.95
Weight lost today: .05 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .39 (-.07)
Days Left: 65
Weight Remaining: 19.95
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 4.25 pounds

Doped up

Average Weight: 280.32
Weight lost today: .68 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .54 (-.22)
Days Left: 69
Weight Remaining: 20.32
Weight off of my 5 Day since 9/6: 3.88 pounds

Quick Hits:

> I'm on a muscle relaxer, so I'm feeling niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
> I've needed to average .32 pounds per day to hit 260.0 by Thanksgiving, and after a week, I'm averaging .54 pounds per day. That's a pound lost every other day.
> Blood pressure at my last DR visit: 144/99 - SCARY.
> Blood pressure today: 118/78 - PERFECT. Said my Dr: "You can't get any better than that."
> Told the DR how much weight Becky and I had lost, and she was more than impressed. So am I.
> Weighed in under 280 for the 2nd day in a row. I like it.

Quickie

Not much time today, so here's the basics:

Weight: 281.04
Weight lost today: .72 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .53 (-.21)
Days Left: 70
Weight Remaining: 21.04

Finally saw my first number under 280 today, logging in a 279.4. Pretty happy about that, as the fat loss train has resumed it's voyage.

The back is AGONIZING now. So much so that I'm seriously considering going to an urgent care center, insurance or not. It's just painful to be up and around, or to GET up and around. Something's gotta give.

Also, tried to do my 100 push ups for the first time in a month yesterday. Last time i got to 54 and died, this time I got to 70 (with back pain). So, a step in the right direction. I don't think I'll be trying it again until my back is better, though.

Pleateau: The Story of the Least Effective Fast Ever

From Monday:

Weight: 282.2
Weight lost today: .48 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .54 (-.22)
Days Left: 72
Weight Remaining: 22.2

For Today:

Weight: 281.76
Weight lost today: .44 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .52 (-.20)
Days Left: 71
Weight Remaining: 21.76

I took in 575 calories yesterday. I walked about a mile. My reward?

I weighed in at 280.8 for the 3rd day in a row.

Water weight? My good numbers coming back to get me? No idea. But I saw a 279.8 on the scale yesterday afternoon, and I was expecting to see one again this morning. Guess that proves you should never expect to see anything, and you should always hope for the best.

I would hate to get stuck here for any length of time. I knew the .5 pounds per day wouldn't last forever, but I was hoping to go longer than five days.

Still, my average still came down .44 pounds, taking me into the 281's. Small victories, I guess.

What's really bothering me is the inability to work out. I am CRAVING football. I DESIRE to go do my plyometric workout. I'd LOVE to hit the pool. I haven't felt like this in weeks, and now I'm sidelined because of my stupid back pain. It's annoying as heck.

Something has to give, eventually. I think I need to go see a Doc about this. It isn't going away, and some days I can barely stand.

But really, I just want to work out.

I'm Wasting Away, People!

Weight: 282.68
Weight lost today: .76 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .51 (-.19)
Days Left: 73
Weight Remaining: 22.68

So, my theory is that the sodium from Friday night has left my body, and my continued clean eating and our 2+ mile walk and football yesterday combined with that sodium flushing to give me an INCREDIBLE weigh in.

My weigh in today?

280.8

I would have been thrilled with a 282.4, but this is amazing.

Today we're going back to Jillian's for a birthday party, so I'll be eating a salad. I need to keep this going, no matter what.

I have now lost an average of .51 pounds per day since I set out to lose .32 pounds per day. That's good, because as we all know, this pace isn't likely to keep up, and I'll need this .19 pound cushion to take the edge off.

Just for fun, had I been involved in the September Challenge:

Weight Lost (single weigh-in): 5.0 pounds
Body % lost: 1.7%

Not too shabby.

ALSO:



This 37" LCD TV weighs 75 pounds. So, as of today, I have lost a 37" LCD TV.

The Final Countdown - Day Three

Weight: 283.44
Weight lost today: .34 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .37 (-.05)
Days Left: 74
Weight Remaining: 23.44

Well, I'm exceeding my .32 per day goal so far, though it's only been two days.

And while Beck did GREAT at Jillian's last night, I didn't do as well. I knew I'd have nothing to choose from for dinner, so I only took in 360 calories up to that point in the day. I ended up eating a grilled chicken BBQ sandwich, with some fries. And I had five BBQ chicken wings.

Somehow, I ended up with roughly 2,200 calories for the day. Not awful, though still about 201 calories over where I'd prefer I end up.

I still have a lot to learn, too. I look back on it now, and I likely could have asked for corn or broccoli in place of the fries, and I could have lived without BBQ sauce on the sandwich. Still, I think the meal was pretty real-world.

Did I get an A+? No. But did my preparation for the bad dinner keep me from failing? I think so, yes. I'd give myself a B- for the day.

I weighed in at 283.4, up .4 pounds from yesterday, but I'm pretty sure sodium played a part. And my average still dropped. So I'm pretty happy, actually.

Today seems like a good day for a controlled fast, though I woke up hungry. So, it's going to be a challenge. Maybe I'll snack on some carrots during football, then have a light dinner tonight.

If Beck's soreness from her trek yesterday is better, we'll be going on a 3-4 mile family walk today (Denver falls are amazing - 77, sunny, no humidity!), so that'll be 600 calories gone. And we may even go to the park and toss the football around after dinner. We'll see.

I want to see a 282 on the scale in the morning.

More later...

Weight: 283.8
Weight lost today: .4 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .4
Days Left: 75
Weight Remaining: 23.8

The Final Countdown

Weigh In: 283.0 (3rd straight new low)
5 Day: 284.2 (6th straight new low)
Calories Consumed Yesterday: 2,159 - Too many. I lost count.

First, went to the pool yesterday to test my back. It did OK, though I didn't have a lot of gas. Worked hard for about 30 minutes, then did some light stuff for another 10 or so.

As for my calories, I made the mistake of adding up my calories at the end of the day, as opposed to doing it as I went along. I had no clue where I was going in to dinner, so I assumed I had room to eat a big one. I ended up 159 over where I wanted to be.

Lesson learned.

OK, here's the deal. November 23rd will mark one year since I really buckled down and went after this life transformation. Had I not slowed down and slipped up so many times over the last few months, I think I'd be at 260 by now. But I can't focus on that. I have to keep my eyes forward.

So, here's my new goal:
I will hit 260 by November 21, 2007 - the day before Thanksgiving.

That gives me 76 days to lose 24.2 pounds. That boils down to .32 pounds per day of weight loss. It's kind of a lofty goal as I sit here and think about it. I have had stretches of 5-6 days where I've lost as much as .4 pounds each day, but I usually follow those up with stretches of days where I PUT ON .3 pounds per day.

This will test me in a way I haven't tested myself, yet. No room for 10% bad eating. No room for days off. No room for excuses. I have to be there by 11-21. HAVE to be.

I need my back to cooperate, and it would help if the stress level would drop a little bit, too. Maybe Beck finds a great job? Maybe my role expands - along with my pay? Maybe I go on The Power of 10 and win a cool million? I'm open to any and all possibilities.

Some of you may be wondering who the real Kevin is. Is he the fired up guy who loses five pounds in a week? Is he the "life sucks" guy who lets stress bog him down, and who sits at the same weight for three weeks? I honestly don't know right now. I think we'll see who I am over the next 76 days.

This is how all of my blogs will start from now until Thanksgiving:

Weight: 284.2
Weight lost today: .68 pounds
Loss Per Day Average Since 9/6: .68
Days Left: 76
Weight Remaining: 24.2

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

Please Read the Post Below This One

After you get done reading this one, of course.

FAT is on MySpace. The link to our page is over on the right. Add us as a friend, and I'll ask everybody the question I want to ask via a bulletin. I think it'll be easier. If you don't want to join MySpace, I'll figure something else out.

Now, go read the meat below.