This isn't the important post

The one below this one is the meat for the day, but I did want to bring something up.

This picture:


Was supposed to be funny. I was going to post it with the title "In case you were wondering." But I almost didn't post it at all, because I think I look atrocious in it. Like, really, really, fat. Just plain nasty. In all truth, I'm a little ashamed to be posting it here. I just think it's an embarrassing picture.

But my question is why? Is it inner fat? Years of thinking I look horrible in pictures keeping me from seeing a decent one? Is it my recent struggles coming through? Weeks of failure making me feel as though I'm just as fat as ever?

I don't know what it is, but I don't like it.

Awesome looks NOTHING like that.

So, here's a story for you.

First, let me tell you that I sneezed on Saturday. When I did, I felt a twinge in my back. It hurt at first, but it went away. That was that, I guess.

I'm all pumped, been working out, eating right, losing weight, getting back to my pre-disaster weight, etc, right? So, Beck and I head to the park to do my conditioning workout. We get over there, I walk her through the routine, and we start.

I get about 3/4 through the routine, and I'm feeling GREAT. I knew for a fact that I'd be able to get through three circuits. I felt faster and stronger than I did two days before. It was great. Then I start my tuck jumps. On my third jump, something in my back pops. I mean, it POPPED. I landed, and dropped to my back in the same motion.

I spent much of the rest of the day motionless in my bed with hot/cold compresses and ibuprofen. Now, two days later, I'm still hurting, though not as badly as I was.

I still plan on heading to the pool today and doing some light work - just enough to get my heart pumping. And I want very badly to head back to the park and run through my circuits tomorrow. If I was actually feeling improvement between workouts like that, than I need to stick with it. Maybe I'll just skip the tuck jumps for the day.

As for eating, I've been doing OK. Yesterday's schedule was not conducive to solid eating, as we were running all over the place. The worst I had was some all-natural chips from Wild Oats. We had a couple of small banana nut muffins (made with wheat flour), a turkey breast sandwich on wheat bread, a power bar, etc. I think the chips were worse than I allowed myself to believe at the time. They were about 11 calories per chip, which made it easy to have "just one more."

But I realize that this is a constant struggle. There will always be temptations, roadblocks, schedule issues, limited food choices...and even back pain.

I think I'm at a point in this transformation where I need to find creative ways around those things. I've lost 70+ pounds by doing really well for 80% of the time, not great 12% of the time, and really bad the other 8% of the time. But I think I've gone as far as I can with that breakdown of effort.

This is just another hill to climb.

I'm Back

287.6

Not a great weigh-in, but I've fought my way back to where I was before my last screw up. Next stop: 279.8

Boo Yah.

It Dropped

This is the other shoe. We've been waiting for it to drop since Beck found about her work situation. Well, I don't think either of us want to go into too much detail right now, but we'll just say that this shoe dropped a few minutes ago.

We just can't win. We can't catch up, much less get ahead.

This has to stop.

Random Toughts

Don't really feel like investing a lot of time in the blog today, so I'll just type out some quick hits.

> Yesterday might have been my best workout since I started this thing. It was intense. I'm hurting in places I haven't hurt in years.

> I'm proud of myself today. I wanted to quit several times yesterday, but I didn't let it happen. I kept pushing. I finished what I set out to do.

> It's only been three days of being clean and active, but my weight is up .4 from yesterday, and only down .8 since Monday. I expect more than that.

> Pool today, back to my plyo/football workout tomorrow.

> A great thought from Jamie Foxx in the current issue of Men's Health: Get up every morning and challenge yourself.

> My new 'motto': BFS. Bigger, Faster, Stronger.

More later...

But this should sum up how I feel this morning...

Not meant to be?

So, first I got to my crappy bike, and realized the front tire was flat. So, I pumped it up. Then I realized that the tube was out of the rim, so I had to deflate the tire and start from scratch.

Not a good start.

So I finally hit the road, and I ride the 1.2 miles to the football field, where I see that an actual football team is practicing.

Not sure what to do, I think to myself how glad I am that I at least got a 2.5 mile bike ride in.

Then I realize that there's a park another 1/2 mile up the trail, so I head there.

It's empty and open.

The workout begins.

I gotta say, I made it through the first half of my first circuit, and I knew I'd be able to double the original two circuits I had laid out as my goal. I was breathing hard, and I was pushing myself, but it was the "hurt so good" kind of pain that I was feeling.

So I kept going.

About 1/2-way through my second circuit, it hit me. I was wasted. I had no gas left in the tank. All I wanted to do was go hit the picnic table, chug some water, and head home.

So I did my tuck jumps.

And I sprinted 30 yards.

And I did my last set of push ups.

Now, to be honest, my last set of push ups was tough. I got to six, and the voice in my head said "Annnnnnnd we're done." But the voice was wrong. I had four more to go. And they were the ugliest, slowest push ups ever performed. But I did them.

The 1.7 miles home was tough. My legs had nothing left. Finally, I got home, climbed my three flights of stairs, showered, and guzzled water.

Good news/bad news:

Good - I did it.
Bad - My surgery foot is killing me.

No way can I do this again tomorrow as I had planned. Instead, I'll hit the pool, and I'll try this again on Saturday. Maybe Beck can join me.

Here's how the workout actually went, with my original plan in parenthesis:

Sprint - 10 yards
Push ups - 10 reps
Lateral hurdle - 20 reps (10 reps)
Sprint - 20 yards
Body Weight Squats - 20 reps, then 15 (15 reps)
Push ups - 10 reps
Tuck jumps - 10 reps
Sprint - 30 yards
Push ups - 10 reps

This has been a very scattered post, and I apologize for that. But I hope you get the idea.

Quickie

So, on a day that is supposed to be a new beginning, there are a handful of things that would be really bad. One of those things? Being sick all night.

Yes, I was up most of the night with major stomach issues. I have one of those sick headaches, and my gut is still in knots, with a side order of rumbles.

No doubt in my mind, Old Kevin would call in sick for his first workout today.

New Kevin will not.

As long as I can walk, I'll get to that park to do my workout.

On another note, since my oldest was born, both of my kids have been under direct parental leadership at all times. Much of the time, Beck and I both worked from home, so we were both here. But at least one of us has always been here with the kids.

Well, that changed today, as Beck just left with the girls to drop them off at their babysitter. They will be out of the house twice per week, allowing me to work uninterrupted each of those days. I love them to death, but for me to get any real writing done for the paper, they'd have to be asleep or gone. So, we went with gone.

I'm sick about it. I've never liked the idea of day care, though I know how truly necessary it is. I just feel like I'm shipping them off because work is more important than they are, or because I just don't want them around while I get stuff done. I know neither of those things are true, but it's part of the separation anxiety I'm going through this morning.

I know they just think they're going to play with the kids. And Riley could not have been happier this morning. But I feel like I'm letting them down in some way. I'm glad they don't know the difference right now.

Anyway, I just wanted to get that off of my chest. If there's any interest, I'll be back later to blog about my new workout, how much pain I'm in, what I had to add/remove/change, etc.

Tomorrow's Workout

If you haven't read the post below this, please do.

Here's what I'll do 3-4x per week, starting tomorrow:

Sprint - 10 yards
Push ups - 10 reps
Lateral hurdle - 10 reps
Sprint - 20 yards
Body Weight Squats - 15 reps
Push ups - 10 reps
Tuck jumps - 10 reps
Sprint - 30 yards
Push ups - 10 reps

I'll do at least two rounds of that workout, with no more that 60 seconds of rest between moves. I may take five between rounds, however. Cause I'm gonna be pooped.

Turning the Page - This is a LONG Post

I've been in this chapter for too long. It's time to move on to something I haven't read, yet. I'm getting anxious to see how this book ends.

But the only way to get to the end of the book is to take what I've read on the page I've been stuck on, remember it, and turn the page - finally.

To get a full understanding of the story, you have to remember everything about your book. Too often, especially when I was younger, I'd skim through a book, and when I got to the end, I'd already forgotten who some of the important, but non-key-players were. The book would reveal WHO committed the crime, but without remembering the details on previous pages, I didn't always understand WHY they did it.

So as I turn the page today, I don't want to forget the difficulties I've faced, or the weakness I've given in to. Those are pieces of who I am becoming on this journey. Failure defines a man just as much as success does - maybe more. Your character is molded out of trials and tribulations, not easy going. Anybody can succeed when they never have a problem or a fight. You become who you want to be by withstanding the onslaughts, taking the direct hits, falling six times - getting up seven.

So today, I focus on the next chapter. I look ahead to what I will be, not what I've been.

Here's some info I never blogged about, but felt today was a good day for it.

Everybody but me, it seems, as blogged about their great shopping experiences. They talked about all the new clothes they can fit into, how great they look in XL's, instead of XXXL's. I've always felt a little left out, as my body has never been one to allow me to drop sizes like that. Even at my best weight (239), I was wearing XXL, mainly because I'm 6' 8", and I have very broad shoulders.

Still, when all your current shirts are WAY too big, but the next sizes down are always WAY too small, you feel caught in that flux that everybody else has been able to escape.

I decided I'd shop for clothes when I hit the 260's. No point in doing it before then.

But then I got fed up with my XXXL's. They were too hangy, and, to be honest, they made me look fat. So, I decided to start the XXL search.

What you are about to see is me in my first XXL shirt in over four years - probably more like five. I purchased the shirt at Wal Mart(!) to wear to the Joe Sakic Celebrity Bash I'm covering for my paper next week. I had to find something casual yet professional.

I will not be wearing the shorts or the cheesy grin to the party.


What you will see now is me in one of my long-time nemesis', a white undershirt. For those of you who wear them, you know they may as well be spandex, as they show every fold on your torso. I've always hated being seen in them, but I noticed I no longer looked disgusting in them, so I had beck take a pic of me to see if I looked the same way to others. I was pretty OK with the results.


Lastly, you see my oldest daughter flexing. It has nothing to do with my weight-loss, but it was cute, so you get to see it.


The moral of the story is this: I'm moving forward. Yesterday, the train started moving again. I ate clean all day, I'll do the same today, and tomorrow (no kids!), I'll be riding 2 miles to the football field, where I'll be putting myself through a football conditioning workout I found online yesterday. Then I'll ride 2 miles back.

You guys should stick around. This is about to get good.


EDIT:

This is what I'll be doing, starting tomorrow.

For speed, sprint. For strength, we'll do bodyweight exercises. Again, coaches and trainers of advanced athletes would say you have to do things beyond sprinting to help speed, and some would say bodyweight exercises are not sufficiently challenging to develop the kind of strength we need here.

But keep in mind these are beginning athletes. Sprinting itself, if an athlete has not been on any kind of a program for speed, will help bring out the athlete's latent abilities-you might say it will express their speed, same with bodyweight exercises regarding strength. (Advanced athletes, also, can incorporate these, of course, into their more complex programs.)

Some football greats have largely developed and honed their speed and strength via sprinting and bodyweight resistance exercise. Herschel Walker comes to mind, there are others.

The purpose of this article, though, is to get to the weight-training, so we'll cover the bodyweight exercises (calisthenics) and sprinting only briefly. But again, it doesn't mean they're not important.

Bodyweight Exercises

Train the bodyweight exercises, such as push-ups, pullups/chins, bodyweight squats, calf raises, dips, three non-consecutive days per week.

Repetitions and sets are up to you. Start with a half-hour total for each workout, then work up to an hour or even more if you can. You need to develop the repeated ability (stamina/endurance) to do these physical tasks, and it will help you develop the ability to get through football practices as well. Either on three other days or after your bodyweight exercises, do a series of sprints.

Sprints

You can include sprints various distances, such as forty yards, twenty yards, one hundred yards. You need to ease into the program with both the amount of sprints and the rest times between these. As you are new to this, you will be surprised at the fatigue this creates. But as you build up to it, you will handle it better and you'll make progress in your speed.

Do no long distance running on this program, although you may occasionally run up to a mile; occasional quarter-miles or 220's might suit you better. But emphasize the football distances, the shorter sprints.

You will be surprised at how much even a five to fifteen minute workout will help you at this stage of your development. You may make dramatic progress in speed and stamina just from these workouts.

Keep up this program for at least six weeks; twelve might be better.

Enough!

Yes, I am. Very much so, in fact.

I am pissed at my constant failure.
I am pissed that one bad day takes six good days to counter-act it.
I am pissed that I can't control my food cravings.
I am pissed that I don't have a real workout buddy.
I am pissed that I can't afford a gym, or boxing classes.
I am pissed that we can't buy somebody to come play football with us on the weekends.
I am pissed that I have to keep hitting reset on my weight loss.

Yet here I am, hitting reset once again.

I'm sick and tired of trying to find ways to justify bad eating or not working out. It falls to me to make it happen, and I don't. At least not recently. I've been stuck in the upper 280's for three weeks, now. Thanks to my screw up of a weekend, I jumped back over 290 twice - once after a clean eating day.

It annoys me to no end that I find myself back at square one - again. I've been slacking in every area recently. No counting calories. No working out (except Sunday). No food control (until yesterday). No water.

Everything I know I need to be doing, I'm screwing up with. And here I sit with an average two pounds UP from where I started on 8-1. Again, I find it horribly annoying that two bad dinners can affect you leaps and bounds more than 11 good dinners. I've had maybe four bad days in August, which leaves me with 10 good ones. Yet, I've gained two pounds this month.

Man, that just pisses me off.

But I've already mentioned that.

I have nobody but myself to be mad at this morning. And that's exactly who is getting the K-Dog wrath. I am the one who eats the ice cream. I am the one who takes the extra pieces of pizza. I am the one who won't hit the pool.

I am the one who controls my actions.

My kids are going into part time day care starting Thursday. That will leave me with a wide-open schedule two days per week, and a help with the kids from Becky another two days. That means I now have four days per week with no excuse not to workout. I can hit the pool any time of day. I can go on one of my 3-4 mile walks. On weekends, we can take the kids to the park, let them play, and Beck and I can run routes and toss the ball. I'm still sore from Sunday.

I have to do it. It falls to me.

I Want These

Quickly, awful weekend. Stressful, hot, drunken eating binges Friday and Saturday. I don't even know how it happened. I can't look back and find one moment where things just fell apart. It just was not a good weekend food-wise.

We tried to recover yesterday by going to the park and running each other through some tough football drills in the 90-degree temps.

I'm sore today, so we must have done something right.

Anyway, it's Monday, so time for a fresh start.

If anybody knows where I can get some CHEAP Plyometric steps or boxes, let me know. I was doing some research today, looking for some good strength and conditioning workouts for football. I found several sites that gave some outstanding upper and lower body workouts using some plyometric steps like these:

These enable you to do modified push ups, dips, single-leg squats, Romanian deadlifts, and tons of leaping and running moves that help both your leg strength and your cardio health. Several workouts made the claim that you could do entire total-body workouts with these steps. Add in some 10, 25, and 40-yard sprints, and you're good to go.

The problem is, the cheapest set of three (12", 18", 24") I can find is roughly $299. That ain't gonna happen for quite a while.

One other thing that caught my attention is that at least one site I went to said that plyometric workouts should only be done by well-conditioned athletes. I am neither well-conditioned, nor an athlete, so I don't know where that leaves me.

Anyway, moot point right now. No dinero, no plyometric boxes.

Not Much To Say

Weigh In: 287.0
5-Day: 287.4

Went to see Transformers last night, and didn't have time to eat dinner before hand. Considered skipping, but I was hurting for food when I got home at 11:30pm. So, I ate dinner at 11:45pm. I stayed well under my calories for the day, but I think the late dinner skewed my morning weigh in a little. No biggie.

Tomorrow is going to be an active day. We'll be at Bandimere Race Way all day for jet car races (Beck is driving!), and there will be lots of heat and lots of walking. I hope to sweat some fat out.

We're off today, gonna get some family stuff done. Everybody have a great weekend!

Yin and Yang and PB Cups

Yin: Yesterday's 289 Weigh In.
Yang: Today's 287.2 Weigh In.
5-Day: 287.4
Calories Counted: Not sure. No more than 1,800

We had a business dinner here at our place last night. Beck made some kick-booty stir fry, with our choice of brown or white rice - I chose brown. Needing to flash some sort of dessert skills for my boss, Beck went to her fall back option - homemade peanut butter cups. Those things happen to be one of my greatest weaknesses. She makes a 9x13 pan full of them, and it makes roughly 30 small bars, each worth abut 200 calories. So, that's a pan full of 6,000 delicious calories.

I went into dinner having consumed about 700 calories. Dinner was no more than 500 additional, though I didn't count it up. I then ate two peanut butter cups (spread out over 90 minutes), by far my lowest singe-session intake of PB Cups since I was a kid. And I finished the night off with one Mike's Hard Cranberry.

There were six of us, so it was my assumption that the pan would be just about empty by the time everybody went home. That meant I wouldn't have the need to fight off any more PB Cup cravings for the night. Well, there was still 2/3 of a pan left. So, I had Beck cut out two more cups. One for me, one for my daughter. The rest, she packed up on a plate and took into her coworkers.

I'll allow myself one more, and I'll make sure I give myself the 200-calorie bumper with which to eat it - cut out an afternoon snack, or shorten my dinner portion, etc. I know, it's not as good as having ZERO, but after my post yesterday about having no self-control, I'm kind of proud today that I will have eaten a total of THREE PB Cups, when my average is about 12-15.

When you struggle, I guess you take the victories - big or small - wherever you can find them.

Just for Fun

Sorry, Billy. Looks like I get to be 007.

James Bond, Agent 007		58%
Maximus		54%
Indiana Jones		50%
The Terminator		50%
Lara Croft		46%
Batman, the Dark Knight		42%
William Wallace		42%
Captain Jack Sparrow		42%
El Zorro		38%
The Amazing Spider-Man		33%
Neo, the "One"		29%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

FAT on MySpace

If anybody would like to add to the FAT profile, let me know. I'll give you the sign-in and the password, and you can create your own photo folder, upload before and after images of yourself, etc.

The page will be

http://www.myspace.com/fat_coalition

Self Destruction

Weigh-In: 289.0
5-Day: 287.48

In case you're wondering, the image is of a self destruct button. It's the button that I push every time I get close to making progress out of the 280's. Upon pushing it, I lose all control, eat 3/4 of a large pizza, and put on two pounds overnight.

You'll never get me to believe that there is such a thing as food addiction. I'm sorry if that offends anybody, but I just don't buy it. In fact, as I see any addiction as an inability to take control of your situation. And I say that as somebody who, in his teens, had a few issues with things. Nothing major, don't worry. Just stuff I should have known better about.

But I digress...

I don't have a food addiction. But what I do have, and it's becoming painfully obvious recently, are MAJOR self-control issues. I mean, MAJOR. I get around food, and I eat it because it's there. Even after 10 months of this transformation, I still have not been able to gain 100% control over my desire to eat food that's sitting in front of me. I mean, I've greatly improved my eating, as I don't think you can lose 70+ pounds unless you do. But I have not overcome the food issues, yet.

I'm in the camp that believes there's nothing wrong with an occasional bad meal. Chinese, Pizza, Burgers - in moderation, and if you keep control, are acceptable. But the key word is moderation. Keep the bad food to a minimum. Make it a rarity that you eat those things. Keep yourself on top of your game in other areas, and the few times you go back to the bad food won't knock you down.

I still haven't mastered the moderation thing, and it's starting to hurt me. Beck stopped herself, and didn't go over her calories for the day. I stopped myself, too. For about 30 minutes. Then I was back in the pizza box for another 250 calorie slice. Then I stopped, and we put the pizza away. And 30 minutes later I was in the fridge, grabbing another 250 calorie slice.

This is a lesson I still haven't learned. Keep the foods out of reach, and when they ARE in reach, control yourself. My failure to do so has had incredible impact on my weight loss. When I'm 100% - working out, eating clean, etc - I average about 3 pounds per week of loss. I went back and looked at the most recent 4-5 weeks where I KNOW I was on my game, and I saw a 2.8 pound per week loss those weeks. Not saying I'd always lose that weight if I stayed 100%, but take the weeks where I lost nothing or gained, and say I'd lose an even 2 pounds those weeks. That would put me at roughly 268 today. Instead, here I sit on the verge of 290, again.

Do single bad meals screw you over? Nope. But do they start to add up? You bet.

I need to take control again. This is getting insane.

Quickie

Weigh In bounced back up to 287.4, which makes sense, since I ate 100% clean and stayed below my 2,400 yesterday.

Work and family life has me swamped, so I still haven't gotten in any real workout this week. It's supposed to storm tonight, so the pool doesn't look so good.

Hopefully I can get back into the 286's tomorrow.

Rainy Days and Sundays Always Get Me Down

Weigh In: 286.8
Weight Lost in August: -2.8 pounds
Calories Counted: Nada

So, we had our get together on Saturday.

Neat.

First, of the 20+ people we invited, not a soul showed up. Many already had plans, and it was only a 5-day notice, so I guess I can understand that. Still, for somebody with serious self-esteem issues, it wasn't fun to host a party where NOBODY showed up.

So, Beck and I decided to do a little picnic, toss the ball around, let the girls play, etc. We'd be sure to salvage the day the best we could.

And then the rains came.

Yeah, they came with a fury. Lightning, thunder, winds, cats and dogs - you name it. So, that ended our party day.

Then came Sunday.

We decided we'd go do something fun. Didn't know what, but we started the minds working, trying to figure something out.

With financial concerns, no friends to hang with, and a need to go get groceries, our fun activity was to go to Wal Mart and get groceries. We hate Wal Mart, but they are the cheapest grocery store in the state, so we deal with it.

One of the many reasons we hate the place are the hordes of inconsiderate jerks who cut you off, almost run over your daughters, glare at you if you dare get in their way, etc. If I were a lesser man, I'd beat the tar out of some of these morons.

So, while at WM, we decided to get something nice. Namely some Birthday Cake Ice Cream. If you've never tried it, it rules. It's by far our favorite ice cream in the universe. But we ate it. A lot of it.

Luckily for me, I'm being careful in other areas, so even though I had 1.5 cups of ice cream last night, I don't think I went over my 2,400 calories. If I did, it wasn't by much.

Still, I saw that 286.8 on the scale today, and realized I had gotten lucky. I ate out of emotion again, and it could have screwed me over. So, I consider the low weight a second chance. I need to get my head straight and re-focus on the week in front of me.

I'll get back to my Hundreds today, and I'll return to the pool tomorrow. I'd love to see a 295 on the scale by my Wednesday weigh-in.

We shall see.

SIDE NOTE:

I wasn't going to weigh myself today. Just didn't want to deal with it. But when I got out of bed and headed into the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked, and I just 'felt' thinner. I saw a little definition, I thought I saw some flatness on the sides of my abdominal area...you guys know what I'm talking about, right? I've only had that feeling once or twice before during this journey, and it kind of shocked me that I'd have it today.

But I'm glad I did.

Checking In

Weigh-In: 288.0
Weight Lost in August: -1.6 pounds
Calories Counted: Not a clue

Still here, just didn't have lots of time for blogging in the last 36 hours.

Some quick updates:

> Only had about a 30-minute window to work out yesterday, so I hit the pool for 30 minutes. I was still way sore from the Hundreds, and I had a migraine, but I went as hard as I could and made sure to get my heart rate up.

> I didn't do my second round of Hundreds yesterday, as I was still insanely sore from my first round. I will be sure to get them in today. I hate doing them, but I love how I feel after I have.

> I don't think anybody is showing up to our football get-together tonight, but we'll still go grill some chicken and broccoli, toss the ball around, and let the girls play. Better to be a little active than a lot sedentary.

Have a great weekend!

Ow.

Weigh-In: 288.8
Weight Lost in August: -.8 pounds
Yesterday's Calories: 1,049 (oops)

I swear I didn't mean to take in so few calories yesterday. I was busy with work, and I really wasn't hungry all day. After a small (and amazing!) dinner of chicken stir fry (chicken breast, broccoli, baby corn, carrots), I counted up my calories and saw that I wasn't even at 700 for the day. So, I had a larger-than-normal bowl of Fiber One Honey Clusters with a cup of 1% milk to get me up over 1,000.

I don't want to go below 1,800, even on days when I'm purposely eating less to make up for a high day. So, today I'll aim for 1,800, then get back into the 2,000's tomorrow.

I should also point out that I am typing this with my nose, as my arms are hanging limply by my side. Those things killed me, man. In the up position of a regular push up, we figured out that I'm supporting roughly 212 pounds. In the down position, that number increases slightly. So, to do the Hundreds the right way, I should be aiming for 55-60 pounds of weight. On a 45-degree angle (using the kitchen counter), we're assuming the amount of weight I'm supporting is around 127 pounds in the up position, and about 140-ish in the down position.

So, as I mentioned while talking to K in my comments yesterday, I'll aim for being able to finish at least 60 reps by the time the August challenge is over. I'm hoping for more, but I think 60 is realistic. Actually, now that I type that, it looks pretty small. Maybe I'll aim for 75.

As for today's cardio, I'm not sure what I'll do. I'll power clean the apartment, as that usually gets my heart rate up - a little jam playing in the background, vacuuming the floor, washing dishes. Manly.

But the pool is out, as it's only going to be in the low 80's here, and into the 70's by the time Beck gets home. Plus, the whole "can't move my arms" thing could be a problem. A walk is a possibility. Maybe I'll go for a quick 3-mile trek. That's 600 calories; more if I come home up hill. We'll see how the day plays out.

If you live in Colorado, you're invited out to a little bar-b-q/football thing this Saturday. Contact me if you're interested. Even if you don't live in CO, you're more than welcome to fly out.

Lastly, we finally watched 300 last night. The word that best describes my feelings on the film?

"Damn."

Maybe Not

Push Up Hundreds
I'll be going back to the kitchen counter for these. As I posted last night, I'll do 1 set of 100 reps, probably broken into 5 sub-sets of 20, though I hope to push myself further than that. No more than 60 seconds between sub-sets, and I'm not done til I count to 100.

Yeah, that may not happen.

For one, I can't lift 25% of what I'd normally lift when doing push ups. My assumption is that I'm lifting roughly 60% of what I'd lift by using a kitchen counter for my push ups. That ends up being more like 110 pounds, where I'm supposed to be lifting around 50. That adds up pretty quickly.

So quickly, in fact, that I got to 53 in four rounds, and I now cannot move my arms. My chest and shoulders are in LOTS of pain right now.

So, I'll have to re-think this. Maybe I aim for 50, and by the time August is done, I work up to 60? I dunno. But 100 just ain't gonna happen. 53 was true exhaustion. I'm gonna be hurting in the morning.

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My Battle Plan

First, thanks to Rob for allowing my wife and I to do this together. I think she and I both needed a boost right about now.

Second, I fully plan on losing my 10 pounds in August. I've been going the wrong way the last couple of days, and that's got to stop. It seems like every time I do something to make myself proud, I eat like crap and skip a workout, and I pop back up 2 pounds. I can't stop all of my crazy fluctuations, but I can sure stop bringing them upon myself.

Third, here's my rough plan for the next month. I still have to work out the cardio kinks, but we'll see what I can do.

Resistance

Performed Monday, Wednesday, Friday

Push Up Hundreds
I'll be going back to the kitchen counter for these. As I posted last night, I'll do 1 set of 100 reps, probably broken into 5 sub-sets of 20, though I hope to push myself further than that. No more than 60 seconds between sub-sets, and I'm not done til I count to 100.

Curls
My bicep measurement went down by .5" in the last 8 weeks. While that may have been fat loss, I don't want to take the chance. So, while it isn't a major muscle group, I'll be tossing in 2 sets of 10 reps using 30-40 pounds with each arm.

Squats
I don't have any weight to add on, so I'll be doing Prisoner Squats - arms extended above my head. I'll aim for 2 sets of 25 to start.

Cardio

Performed Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday

Here's where it might get tricky for me. As I've already mentioned - a lot - my foot isn't going to allow me to put much stress on it, anymore. So running is out, and long walks are likely out, though I may have no choice.

I'd like to keep swimming, but if I'm going to work my chest, shoulders, triceps and upper back to exhaustion on my weight days, I'll need to let them rest on my off days. Swimming isn't going to allow for much rest.

In an ideal world, I'll get to mix things up a little. Maybe take a family walk on a Tuesday night - 3 miles or so, if my arms can handle it, head to the pool for 45 minutes on Thursday, and run some routes with Becky for an hour or two on Saturdays. I'm not sure if the pool will happen, but I'll give it a shot tomorrow and see.

Food

Beck and I are both aiming for 100% clean eating this month. That is NOT going to be easy, especially for me. Here's my definition of 'clean eating':

No sugar in cereal
No breaded anything
No pizza, or fast food of any kind
No candy of any kind
No calorie-filled drinks besides V8, milk, or other 100% juices
No white rice or pasta
Only 100% whole wheat bread

Basic rules we've all been living by, but without giving myself the 10% allowance to screw up. I LOVE that 10%, so this ain't gonna be easy.

And that's about it. I'm looking forward to seeing my September 2nd picture. At that time I'll weigh at least 279.6, and I'll have been killing myself for the entire month. Some definition would be nice, too.

Good luck everybody. I hope that my determination with this means that you're going to need it.

Interesting Workout Tip

Found this while looking for individual Football workouts:

Try 'Hundreds' it is a muscle blaster to the max. The way to do hundreds is to lift 1/4 of what you normally would lift for 100-reps.

For example if you normally lift 200 pounds on the bench press you would cut that amount to 50 pound more or less. Your goal would be to bench press 50-pounds 100-times. Your first few reps will seem easy but before you get to a total of 100-reps your muscles will give out. Rest for only a minute or so and then continue from where you left off.

Lets say that you were only able to do 25-reps before your muscles gave out, then you would need another 75-reps to finish your workout.

You want to have a total of 100-reps. You do not want to count sets you only want to count reps. Do as many sets as it takes to reach a total of 100-reps.

You can only do hundreds on two major body groups at a time and never on the same day. Try this workout.

Do your chest workout on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays only. On Tuesday and Thursday workout you back. Rest on Saturday and Sunday.

Do one exercise of 100-reps a day (only) and you are done with that muscle group for the day. NO MORE! You DO NOT WANT TO OVER DO IT.

This is a major wake up call for your chest, back, or what ever muscles you want to work on. You can do the same type of work out for your other body parts. For example, try working out your biceps and triceps together or quadriceps and calves. Do not do all these work outs in one day because it is too much for the body to recover from. You will need plenty of rest to go along with your workouts.

Remember that your body needs to rest in order to build muscles. Your muscles grow when you give then time to recover.

This is from a high school football coach giving free advice on a website, so I don't know how much credit I give it, but it's interesting. I can see doing push ups like that on my strength days, and adding in some cardio on my off days. But my cardio is swimming, and I'm guessing I'm not supposed to use the same muscles for cardio as I do for my strength training.

It gives me something to think about, though.

I Might Be Out Of Line

So, I've been somewhat obsessed with my most recent pictures. Not in a bad way, but in a "wow, I'm happy" way.

I mean, even the difference of 12 pounds from June 8 to July 27 is incredible. As Billy showed us all last week, the closer you get to your goal, the more noticeable even the smallest weight change becomes.

A month ago, I was convinced that I had to get down to 245 to look even close to where I wanted to be - and that very well may still be true. But after seeing the difference between 298 and 286, I'm no longer convinced. If I stick to my sprint swimming, add in some curls, and get back to my pushups, 260 might look pretty freaking nice.

So, let's assume that I do only have 26 pounds left to lose until I'm a point where I'm actually fit. What does that mean about my 'classification'? After years of always seeing myself as fat, I have a hard time looking at those pictures and thinking that I still am.

Chubby? Sure.
Overweight? Yeah, I think so.
But obese? Not anymore.
Fat? I could be wrong, but I don't think so.

Yeah, I said it. I'm not fat anymore.

Don't get me wrong. I'm in no way satisfied with where I am. I'm not content with being "not fat." I'm looking forward to seeing my next round of pictures 10 pounds from now, then 20, and finally, 26. I think I'll finally be able to look at myself and feel a little pride with what I see in the mirror.

To be honest, I have pride now. As we all know, this isn't easy. Working out? That's easy. Eating better? Easy. But we've taken it a step further than that. We've changed our entire lifestyle. We're re-creating ourselves. Or maybe we're just finally realizing who we are.

I'm Kevin, and I'm not fat, I'm a little overweight.

Shameless Plugs

> Mile High Sports has a new site - I write every Friday
> I have a new blog with new stuff Wednesday and Saturday.

> Also, in case you missed them, I posted some fairly impressive new pics over the weekend. These shots make me think 260 is going to look pretty good.

What Would You Be?

Today's Weigh In: 286.4
5-Day: 287.12

So, I know we're pretty much all in this for the betterment of our overall health, and to allow us less embarrassment about our bodies, but I'm curious about something.

If you guys were doing this for a career in athletics, what sports would you want your body ready to handle when you hit your goal? What kind of body do you want to end up with?

Do you want a boxer's body? A swimmer's body? A basketball player's body? A wrestler's body?

I'm honestly not sure what I want.

My first thought was the body of a less-than-buff UFC fighter, like Gan McGee. He's 6' 10", about 265, so I'd have to be about 245 to look similar.

Another thought I had was an NFL Tight End. Something like Tony Scheffler of the Denver Broncos. He's 6' 5", 250, so I'd need to be a muscular 265 to look similar.

What about you guys?

My Wife is Crazy

She thinks because she only lost 3.2 pounds this month that she's failing in some way. She's always preaching to "look at the measurements. The measurements don't lie."

Take thine own medicine, Doctor.

This is a split shot of her in early June and this morning. Weight difference? I dunno, maybe 5-6 pounds. ACTUAL difference? Unreal.

Now, maybe she'll shut up.

:-)

Damn.

A Little Help?

Anybody know where I can find a list of what swimming stokes work which muscle groups? I haven't been very successful, so far.

Anyway, my sad Challenge results are in. I'm not amused.

I HATE fluctuations. I know I don't weigh the 287.6 that showed up on my scale this morning. I can feel the water retention in my stomach and hands. I must have had too much sodium last night, or something.

I lost a total of 5.4 pounds over four weeks. That's not acceptable to me. The first two weeks I was dealing with a nasty plateau, then I flipped the switch back on July 13. I lost 1.6 pounds in three days for my weigh-in last week, and I was on pace for a 5-pound weight loss this week. Then Dr. Fluctuation crept back into my life - on a Sunday morning.

I hate that clown.

I guess it could have been worse. I could still be 293 where I started.

My suggestions for the next challenge:

Monday weigh-ins
Saturdays are the days most of us have outside-the-lines activities - dinners, friends, parties, etc. I think we should be allowed to de-stress from a long week on Saturdays, recover on Sundays, and weigh in on Mondays.

Total % Lost
I think, since many of us have very different goals and targets right now, and since we're all at different points of our transformations, we should go with total % lost next time. If I start at 285, and I lose 10 pounds, then I lost .035% of my total weight that month. Likewise, if Billy starts at 190, and he loses 7 pounds, he will have lost .037% of his body weight. I lost more weight, but he lost more in relation to his starting point. So, he would win. Just a thought.

That's all I got. Hope everybody did well. And if you can find any info on what strokes build which muscles, I'd appreciate the help.

Picture Day! Yes, You Get the Boxer-Brief Treatment.

Today's Weigh-In: 286.4

I will be heading to the pool for an hour this afternoon, so I fully expect a weigh-in in the 285's tomorrow, ensuring a Closer's victory. I think that would give me a 5-ish pound loss this week, and a 6.5-ish pound loss over the last two weeks.

Anyway, off to the pics.

Before (12-2005): 365-ish
Now: 286.4


Before (June 8, 2007): 298.6
Now: 286.4


And this one is for the ladies. Or for my ego. Either way. It's a Billy-inspired pose. Enjoy.

Seriously?

Why? Why would they do this?

About last Night

Swimming:

30 Hard Minutes of Various Strokes (snuck out to see a movie with that title when I was 16.)

Concentrated Mostly on the Breast Stroke, and some other stroke that I don't know the name of, where you lie on your back, kick, and kind of do a snow angel. I tried to do it HIIT-style, but it's tough in a pool. Essentially, I went one lap, then treaded water for 30 seconds or so, then hit the next lap.

15 Minutes of Casual Swimming (a cool down, if you will.)

I was pooped last night, and my shoulders and parts of my back are sore this morning.

No pool tonight as my boss is coming over to work on some things, and to have dinner. And maybe no pool tomorrow, as Beck is likely going to have to work all day. Maybe there will be a spare hour in there somewhere.

Eating:

It's easy to stay under your calories when you have no food in the house. I barely topped 1,500 yesterday, and that was only because I was craving a late-evening bowl of Honey Nut Cheerio's.

Today will be similar, though we're having turkey lasagna for dinner, and that's about 500 calories per slice. I happen to be a 2-slice guy. And don't worry, it's whole wheat pasta, and low fat cheeses.

My Weight:

286.4.

For those of you keeping score at home, that's a 2.4 pound drop from yesterday, which was my lowest weigh-in to date.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I can lose weight like the Lions lose football games - easily - if I have the right tools to do it. Again, in college, I weighed in on January 5th at 297. My weeks consisted of basketball three nights per week, an occasional trip to the weight room, and eating Burger King, Pizza, Little Debbie's, and nasty cafeteria food. By the end of the semester - late May - I tipped the scale at 239. I lost 58 pounds in a little over five months while eating like CRAP.

I know for a fact that if I would have the privilege of a gym, or a more free schedule, I'd be down frighteningly close to my 260 goal right now. Last January (2006), I weighed in at 365 pounds at a Dr's visit. Today, I weighed 286. That's almost 80 pounds in 21 months, only 10 or 11 of those months was I actually trying to do something about it.

This is why I've been so frustrated. I know I can lose weight much faster than I have been. I know how my body works. You can look back and see it in this blog. When I hit the reset button and took control of my eating, and made sure to ride every night, I lost four pounds in five days. I've lost 8 in 14 days. I've done that a few times over the course of these eight months.

Sure some of it was may fault for losing focus. I'm the first to own up to my errors in this journey. You don't have to re-gain control unless you lose it in the first place. That said, I was out of control in college, and I lost 60 pounds because I had the ability to exercise.

It's frustrating as all get out to know I COULD be doing better, but I don't have the means with which to do better. Bad foot, 2 jobs, 2 kids, no spare cash for the gym, broken bike...I have a lot of things working against me.

Yet here I am, sitting at 286.4.

Always moving forward.

EDIT

This also puts me at 61 pounds lost since Thanksgiving of 2006. That's a decent number.

For the Record...

I just want everybody to be on the same page.

Long walks and runs/jogs of any length are out, as my foot does not handle the stress well, anymore. I'm guessing years of carrying around 300+ pounds after two major surgeries has taken its toll. With my bike broken, the pool is my best bet.

And I wasn't exaggerating when I said that my spare time with two kids and two jobs allows me, at best, to make lunch or hit the bathroom.

As for making time, I think you all know me better than that by now. If I felt there were time, I'd take it. If I could get up at 6 and hit the pool while Beck was getting ready, I'd be all over it. But the pool is closed until 10am, and I am obviously busy during that time.

Could I have left people hanging and gone swimming this week? Yep. But that's not who I am. I had a scheduled phone call with my new boss. I told a person coming to buy a chair I'd wait for him. I wanted to keep the kids out of Beck's hair while she worked so she wouldn't get frustrated, and could get her stuff done. For better or worse, I'm an "others first" guy. If I feel that somebody else needs my help, helping them becomes the priority.

Last night, Becky said that can be a fault for me sometimes, too. Maybe she's right. But if I feel people need me, or are relying on me, I don't want to give them any reason to doubt my ability to meet those needs.

I'm just rambling, I guess. I just wanted everybody to know where I am, and that I'm not looking for excuses. Everybody's advice is appreciated, and I wish it were just as simple as "make time", "go walk", "make it happen", etc.

Right now, it's not.

Anyway, in the midst of all of this, I hit a new low of 288.8 this morning. Something to build on, I guess.

Yep, Billy's Right

I'm out of it, right now. No passion, no drive, no desire. I had a few days of defeat, and they have rolled into a lackadaisical feeling about the whole thing.

Here's the deal:

My bike is dead. It still rolls, but that's about it. I hit a bump, and the handlebars turn to the right. But the tire stays straight. It doesn't shift, anymore. The back tire is bent so badly that keeping speed on a level surface is like trudging up a hill in low gear.

So, I decided to switch things up and hit our pool. Just taking my shirt off to go in the pool was a tough step, but I did it. Beck and I stayed in there for a good hour - swimming laps, doing handstands, lifting the other person as high out of the water as we could - it was a solid workout. I was winded when we were done, and I was sore the next morning.

So, I figured this would be my new free gym. I planned to go back Sunday, but Beck had a project to finish, and I stayed home to help keep the kids out of her hair so she could work unimpeded. No pool Sunday.

Monday we had a guy coming over to buy a recliner we were selling. He was supposed to be here at 7, but he got lost and didn't show up until 7:45. By the time he checked the chair and we loaded it up, it was after 8. I was waiting for a phone call from my boss at 8:30, so no pool on Monday.

Last night we had to go run some errands and get some dinner, and by the time we were back, I had a migraine the size of Tokyo. No pool Tuesday.

Tonight, Becky's sister is coming up to learn how to swim, as she's preparing to go into the Air Force, and she needs to know the basics for a survival course. It'd be a little odd for me to teach her, so Beck will go swim with her, and I'll stay here with the kids. No pool tonight.

And for those of you saying we should take the kids to the pool? The kids are 2-years-old and 10 months. If Beck and I both go, we each get one kid, and neither of us gets a workout.

It feels like EVERYTHING is working against me. I'm now working three jobs from home if you count the kids, so time is even more rare for me. I have about 2-3 hours per night that could be set aside for "me" time, but it seems like we always have something going on that prevents me from taking advantage of those open hours. And if Beck has anything going on - side projects, sister coming up, needing some rest - it's my job to let her get those things done by keeping the kids out of her hair.

I don't even have time for my old school push up routine. I'm stretched pretty thin with job 1, job 2, and kids A and B right now. Spare time during the day allows me to eat a sandwich, or go to the bathroom.

I keep thinking, "Hey, I'm working now. I can go get the boxing membership, or a 24HourFitness membership, and the problem is solved." The problem is, I don't get paid for another three weeks, and August is the month where we're going to be catching with all of our bills from the months where I wasn't working.

Rob blogged yesterday about feeling like he was on four flat tires. I feel like I'm trying to go forward while the car is in reverse. As hard as I try to go forward, something is pulling me backwards.

I wish there were just a switch I could flip to get out of this rut, but the truth is, I just need some time. Time for me to get my workouts in, and time for me to mentally come out of this.

Better

Weigh In: 289.2 (new low)
5-Day: 290.32

Hasn't been a great 24 hours on a personal level, so I'm not going to be very talkative today. But I did just want to document the weight, and show that my fluctuation only lasted a day this time around. I guess I can deal with that.

Why I HATE the 5-Day

Weigh In: 291.8 (What in God's name??)
5-Day: 290.84

I've been the king of body weight fluctuations over the last several months. If you've been following my blog for any length of time, than you know my body likes to freak out on me, and jump up two, three, even four pounds overnight quite often, usually for no good reason. It's as frustrating as "frustrating" can be, but it's just what my messed up body does.

Well, the evil Dr. Fluctuation has struck again.

Up over two pounds from yesterday's weight, with a quick and intense, against-the-wind 3-4 mile bike ride, and perfect eating. Makes sense, huh?

Now, I will admit that I ate poorly on Tuesday night. Beck and I were both under strict deadlines, and we didn't have time to cook dinner. So, we took the easy way out, and got pizza. I ended the day about 500 calories over my target of 2,400. But that was two days ago, and it was 500 calories. I don't think that played that big of a role in a 2-pound fluctuation today.

How long does it take for your body to register what you put it through? If I eat 2400 calories today, but I box, ride my bike, play some basketball, and take a run, and I burn 3500 more than I take in, will I lose a pound tomorrow? Will it show on the scale a few days from now? On the same token, if I don't work out at all today, and I eat 5,900 calories, will I put on a pound tomorrow?

I've done variations of both over the last seven or eight months, and from my experience, it seems much more likely that the latter will happen. I've eaten 500 to 1,000 calories over a few times, and I've put on three pounds the next day. I've eaten 2400 on the nose, and burned 2000 calories off, and my weight stays the same, or barely budges. Sometimes, it's even gone up a few pounds.

Of course, I've also eaten 1,000 calories over, and lost a pound the next day.

I know it's not an exact science every time, but I wish I understood my body a little better than I do. It would help take the edge off of these funky weigh ins.

Let's just hope I can drop back down by Sunday.

Continuing my 2-Blogs-Per-Day Trend...

I'll just post this. No words are necessary. Though I will say I'm a good 11 pounds lighter now than I was in the June picture.

Whee!

Weigh In: 289.6 (Goal Accomplished!)
5 Day: 291.12 (Gotta get this 293.2 off my record!)

Finally, I hit my first goal on time in this transformation.

I was hoping to weigh in under 290 at least once by 7/22, after weighing in at 294.4 on the 13th. That gave me nine days to lose 4.5 pounds. With four days to go, I'm already down 4.8 pounds.

Some important facts about the number 289:

I have now lost over 70 pounds since January of 2006.
I have now lost over 57 pounds since Thanksgiving 2006.
I am now under 30 pounds to my goal weight of 260.

I know, my 5-day still has me over 291, but I have a 293.2 that drops off tomorrow, and a 291.8 that will drop off the next day. So, even if I maintain my weight (which I have ZERO plans to do), I'll drop under 290 in two days.

Whee!

An Addendum to my Last Post

So, I've been swamped today. No time for breakfast, period. I've been sitting at my computer working since I posted my last blog entry.

Just a few seconds ago, I was able to get up and use the restroom.

And there was my scale.

So, I disrobed, got on top of it (the scale), and weighed in.

289.4.

So, my question is this:

If I haven't eaten anything, haven't worked out, just sat at a computer for 3 hours, can I use this as my real weigh in? Had I eaten, gone for a walk, etc, I'd say no. But I've done nothing but type for three hours. Though I did change a diaper.

What say you?

Soooooo Close

Weigh In: 290.0 (new low!)
4-Day: 291.5

Got up, jumped on the scale, got a 291.0, then realized I had to "use the bathroom." I used said bathroom, and jumped back up on the scale. Got a 290.0. I felt excited, yet frustrated. To get that close to a somewhat big goal is painful. Close, but not close enough.

Well, as I was getting dressed, and preparing to start the day, I realized I had a little left in the tank, if you know what I mean. So, back in I went, forcing out what little remained. Thinking I may have gotten rid of another .2, I jumped back up on the scale, only to see the 290.0 again.

So, the goal will have to wait another day, it seems.

Still, I'm pretty happy. This puts me down 4.4 pounds since Friday. That's not too shabby, especially since I had no time for my bike ride yesterday. I'm working two jobs simultaneously - three if you count the two kids - so anything besides work/responsibility has to wait until after the hours of 7am and 6pm. Last night we had to head right out the door after dinner for a meeting with my boss, and that lasted until 9:15pm. So, it wasn't going to happen.

Still, I was all over my diet - eating 100% clean, and I was able to see another pound come off. I guess I'll stop complaining about the .2, and look at the big picture.

I'm back on track.

We Have Made Contact...

I was bored, and thought I'd weigh myself, just for the heck of it.

290.0

That's with no workout yet today, and regular food intake. I won't count it, as a midday weigh-in could be way off of accurate. But I made contact with the next decade down, and I likes it. If it holds up, that's 4.4 pounds in four days.

Shows what a person can do when he puts his mind and heart into it.

Hidden Fat, My REAL Weight Goal, Visualization

Weigh In: 291.0 (lowest ever!)
3-Day: 292.0

This is my third day in a row with a nice weight loss, and I am very excited about that. Since I reset this whole thing on Friday, I've been all over this 'weight loss' thing. The diet, if anything, has been too good. I had to cheat last night to get my calories up to the 2,400 range. My last three days were 1,600+, 1,800+, and then around 2,450 last night. I need to get the calories up before my body starts conserving my fatness.

We've all talked about the fact that once we hit our original weight goals, there's a great chance we're going to need to re-evaluate and take some more poundage off. Well, I've known that for a while, but I think it's starting to sink in just how far I have to go, still.

I have about 32 pounds to go to get to my original goal of 260, which is what I weighed when I met Becky six years ago. As I look at myself in the mirror, or rub my big, ol belly, I have to think that I probably have most of that 32 pounds hanging above my belt buckle. If I were to totally get rid of my belly 32 pounds from now, I'd be a happy man. A) I don't think I can, B) That leaves a lot of fat that others might not see.

You all know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the little hangy stuff under your arm, up by your pit. I'm talking the little pouch on the pubic bone. I'm talking the upper thighs, just south of Crotch Land. I can't estimate fat weight by looking or jiggling, but I've got to assume that I have another 10 pounds - at least - that is hiding in my crooks and crevices.

So, I'm thinking 245 is more along the lines of where I need to be when this is all over. I was 239 in college, but I was a bean pole. I didn't work out at all, so I honestly looked anorexic. I know I have more lean mass now than I did then, and as I continue working, I'll build more. I'm hoping 245 looks good on me.

But how good? Billy and others were talking about visualizing yourself with the body you want to have, and I've been thinking about it a little since then. The truth is, I have NO idea.

Many of the FAT members have seen this, but I used to want to look like former NFL player and pro wrestler Bill Goldberg. Dude's just a big muscle.

And while that's all good and fine, I think he might be TOO muscular for me. I don't want to look like a pro wrestler, but I wanna look like I could be one if I wanted to.

Really, my only visualization shows me in a form-fitting Under Armour shirt, and having it look good. Pretty simple, I know, but check this commercial out, and you'll see WHY I want to end up where this guys are (-ish).

Week 3 Stats

Weigh In: 291.8

That's only one pound down from last week, but it's 2.6 pounds down from my "reset" on Friday. I worked my tail off the last two days - bike rides, swimming, perfect eating. I'm kind of proud that I made it down over two pounds since I got my head back on straight.

No push ups for me today, at least not this morning. My bad shoulder has been acting up this week, and my last set of push ups on Friday was pretty painful. So, I'll chill out today and see if it feels better by tonight. Hopefully so, as I still want to break 20 in the challenge. Guess we'll see.

For the record, I'm fully expecting to be down in the upper 280's by this time next week. I'm aiming for a weigh-in of at least 288 next Sunday.

Have a good Sunday, all.

Square One

It dawned on Beck and I last night that we were slowly allowing ourselves to slip back into our old habits. Between us and our two-year-old, we took out almost a full carton of ice cream last night because of some new stress we didn't handle well. We had pizza two nights ago to 'celebrate' my new job. Our diets have been poor this week. I don't think either of us have gone over our caloric max by much, if at all, so it could be worse. But it's the direction we're going that worries me.

Back in October, when I decided to start this whole thing, I blogged about how food was my go-to celebratory or mourning partner. Little Debbie's, cheesecake, cookies, pizza, wings, chinese...a little bit of everything. I recognized back then that food was my biggest enemy, and over the last seven months, I've done a pretty good job of forming new habits, and making good choices. I mean, I asked for more broccoli last week. I hated broccoli a few months ago. I snack on carrots, people. Not even with dip - just carrots.

I'm in a better place, now.

But over the last month, I've let myself lose focus. My workouts have become sporadic, even with the bike. And while that's not all my fault, I know I could be trying harder. My food intake is also becoming an issue, again.

I'm back at 294 today. I've been stuck in the 292 - 296 range for over five weeks, now. That can't happen.

I think that part of my problem is that I've become content. I look better, I feel better, I have no pants that fit - all signs that I should be on a weight-loss commercial as an 'after' picture. But I've allowed myself to forget that I'm still taking 'during' pictures. I'm proud of the weight I've lost. But I'm not done.

So, as of right now, I'm erasing everything I've done. Today is Day One of my new weight loss program. This blog will follow on my journey to lose 34 pounds.

Here are my general goals:

> Ride at least one hour per night, five nights per week.
> Count calories daily.
> Stay at or below 2,406 calories per day.
> Keep 'cheats' to 10% of total meals per week.
> Complete 3-4 sets of max push ups per day.
> Work up to 30 elevated push ups.
> Get back to a size 38 waist.

Here are my weight-loss goals:

> Weigh in at 289.8 at least once by 7/22
> Weigh in at 279.8 at least once by 9/1
> Weigh in at 269.8 at least once by 10/10
> Hit my goal of 260.0 at least once by 11/10

I don't like the fact that I feel I need to start from scratch, but drastic times call for drastic measures, I guess.

...

Stress Levels Lowering

I've been failing miserably the last few days. Less working out, more eating out. The stress has been KILLING me, and Becky. It's been tough. Long nights, wet eyes, anxiety attacks...and I'm not making any of that up. It's been rough.

But our stress level will be lowering, soon.

I was just offered a job as the Editor in Chief for Colorado Hockey Insider. It's part time, with good perks, but it'll take care of our financial needs. And adding in the fact that they'd like Becky to do some of the design, that's extra pay to help us take care of our needs, and then some.

I thought to myself last night that one of my biggest personal issues is that my daughters had no real reason to be proud of me. I was a diaper-changer, and part time HTML editor. Not much to look up to. But this gives me the opportunity to make them, and my wife, proud.

It's just what I've been needing to relieve us from our stress, and to take care of things we badly need to have taken care of. Our truck needs tires - BADLY. Our kids are growing out of more clothes every day. My wife is shrinking out of hers every day. And daddy needs some contacts, baby.

And with less stress comes more focus on my weight loss. And better control over my eating.

For the first time in a LONG time, things look good for us.

I'm a happy guy tonight.

Not This Week

I don't like losing. I sure don't like being last place in anything. It won't happen again. Mark it down.

You're All Screwed, Now

As (kind of) spoken by John McClane (who I want to be like when I grow up):

"Now I have a mountain bike. Ho-ho-ho."

My weakness in this whole thing has been a lack of desire to do things I hate - running, elliptical, stationary bike, etc. I've always had to enjoy what I was doing for it to take hold. It's a shortcoming, and I've paid the price. Yes, I've lost a rather impressive 63+ pounds since last January, and an also semi-impressive 51+ pounds since Thanksgiving. And I've done it with NOTHING in the way of tools. It's been family walks and push ups. But I could have done much more had I made myself get on one of those machines before now.

Well, the problem is now solved.

I just got back from a 10-mile-ish bike ride, during which I never stopped peddling. Slight inclines, slight declines, didn't matter. I kept pumping the legs. I'm hurting right now, to be honest. About a mile in, my biking muscles were all, "Dude, what the hell??" Coming up my three flights of stairs, my legs all but gave out twice, and as I sit here, they are shaking just a little. I'm not sure I can do this every day right now. I may have to build up. It hurts.

But I love it.

I've always been able to bike. Even when I hit the wall, I'm able to push through and keep going. When I was a kid, I used to pretend I was on CHiP's, and it motivated me to go fast like Ponch and John. That doesn't work as much these days. Still, I made it. I loved it. And now, the weight will melt off this frame of mine.

There were some issues. I'm gonna need a new seat. I've never been to prison, but I have to assume the whole "violation" thing feels similar to that narrow seat getting lodged places upon hitting a bump. And the shifters are screwed up. It only has three gears: "Way easy", "kind of easy", and "Dear Lord, make it stop." But a bad bike is better than a good TV show any day.

I hate to say it, but the GOYADS are screwed. You had a shot before I was mobile, but now it's all over. Ten pounds in July? Pssshhhht. I've got your ten right here, and here's three more. You heard me. Thirteen pounds. Bring it.*

*The following was written while Mr. Antcliff was still in a euphoric state. It's possible he won't remember any of this when he gets out of the shower. He cannot be held accountable for these words. Please don't be mad at him. He knows not what he does.

Guess What I Got??

It looks NOTHING like this, and it needs some serious work, but I needed a pic of a red Mountain bike.

It needs some new handlebars, some brakes, probably a bigger seat, and a good cleaning - but what do you expect for a $20 thrift store bike? I don't think it's quite big enough, either. But I'd rather be a little snug on a bike and getting some exercise than comfy on a couch watching TV.

In bad news, I'm getting frustrated with my weight. Several days ago, Beck and I gave into the stress - again - and we ate too much. We paid for it the next day. My weight was back up to 298.6. That's 5.6 pounds overnight from BBQ wings, ice cream, some drinks, and some candy. I worked my way back down to 297-ish on Monday, 296.8 on Tuesday, 296.2 on Wednesday, 296.2 again yesterday, and I'm back up to 296.4 today.

I ate pretty clean on the 4th - a few chips, one scoop of potato salad, a piece of steak, a deviled egg, and two cookies spread out over three hours. If I went over my calories, it wasn't by much, as I ate accordingly for breakfast and lunch. Plus, we went running Wednesday morning, played "go get it" catch for another 30 minutes, and then we played catch for a while again that evening before the fireworks. Yesterday I ate very clean, but I was probably about 200 calories over my 2,406.

The bike is going to help. It has to. The plan is to ride at least 10 miles every day, seven days a week. I did that when I was in high school, and I stayed in pretty good shape - and that was with a crappy diet. I'd like to think that solid eating, 70+ miles a week on the bike, and other activities with the family (football, walks, etc) will get this weight off pretty quickly.

Let's hope.

Foot Update

Well, after sleeping on it, I have realized that my foot freaking hurts. I am taking this to mean that my foot would greatly appreciate me not using it for activities such as jogging, running football routes, taking long walks, or standing on it for an extended period of time.

That kind of limits my activities, huh?

Now I'm not sure what to do. Running is out. Walks are leaning towards out. No money for a gym (pool!) membership. Same with boxing.

Finding that bike sure would be a good thing right now.

We're going to go to a local pawn shop that sells bikes tonight. Hopefully we'll get lucky and find a big boy bike.

Sometimes it sucks being 6' 8".

Running Wild

Kind of.

This is a picture of a 400m running track, similar to the one at our local high school.


I ran it today, just to see if I could do it. There was about a 15 second period of time where I walked at a very quick pace, but the rest of the time, I jogged.

When I reached the 1/2-way point, the voice of rationalization started spouting off in my head.

"Dude. You went 1/2 way around the track. That's pretty good! Go ahead and walk the rest of the way. You never used to be able to go this far, so be happy. No need to push yourself."

I had no part of that.

It wasn't easy, but I made myself keep moving. I slowed down, sure. But I didn't stop. I don't stop, anymore. I always move forward.

I was actually kind of bummed that I walked those 100 or so feet. I am proud that I was able to go that far, but I wanted to go all the way. Still, I'll take what victories I can get. And I DO see this has a victory for me.

For the sake of numbers, 400m is 1,312.33 feet, just under 1/4 of a mile. My time, including the walking was 2:33. That put me on pace for just over a 10-minute mile. I'm sure I would have slowed more as I fatigued, but I'll take the 2:33 and be proud.

In other news, my foot seems to be holding up, even after running routes for Becky. If we had time, I would have stayed out there catching passes for hours. It's how I am. I sometimes struggle to get going with exercise, but once I get moving, it's hard to make myself stop.

Also, no go on the bike. Which sucks.

Everybody have a good one!

I'm Out

Everybody have a fun, fantastic Fourth! Be healthy, but have a good time.

A Little Less Painful

Weigh In: 294.0 (up .4 pounds)
5-Day: 293.56 (up .12 pounds)

294 is better than 295.4, but it's still painful.

I emailed a guy with two large-framed bikes for sale for $10 each yesterday, but I haven't heard back. That would be a huge difference-maker for me right now. Having a bike would allow me to get away from things for an hour or so a day, it would allow me to work off about 600 calories extra, and it would allow me to feel free once in a while.

It's strange how something as simple as a bike - when attaining one is out of your reach - becomes so important. Right now, a bike is the Holy Grail to my Monty Python. It's the Lost Ark to my Indiana Jones. It's the Red October to my Jack Ryan.

It would be nice.

Pending

I'm not weighing myself again for another hour. I refuse.

Here's the deal: My calories were perfect yesterday. I ate clean, and I came in roughly 200 calories under my target of 2,406. Now, I DID have too many carbs. I had a piece of whole wheat lasagna for lunch, and we had whole wheat spaghetti (with turkey meatballs! Mmm!) for dinner. There's a lot of carbs in Italian food, even if they are good carbs.

But would the carbs make me gain almost TWO FREAKING POUNDS from yesterday? I have a hard time believing that. Yet, my scale read 295.4 this morning.

I'll weigh again in an hour. Maybe I'll lose some weight in the restroom.

Or maybe my body has just decided that 2,400 calories just isn't going to cut it, anymore.

I don't know, but STILL being in the 290's is starting to get frustrating.

I Found It!

It was hidden on the hard drive we moved over to the new computer.

So, allow me to do it right:

Weigh In: 293.6 (wrong way!)
5-Day: 293.44 (new low)

I Hate Days Like This

I have nothing to say. Not a thing. No words of wisdom. No complaints. No issues that need to be dealt with. Nothing. Just....nothing.

Weigh In: 293.6 (wrong way!!!)
5-Day: I have no idea. My computer died, and we lost the spreadsheet. Which sucks.

That's about it, guys. Sorry to bore you today.

Buh-Bye.

The Challenge - Week 1 Numbers

Starting Points

Weigh In: 293.0 (tied for my lowest)
Elevated Feet Push Ups: 10

4-Week Goals

Weight: 282.8
Push Ups: 25

**EDIT**

Feel free to chat about the Challenge at the Shift Forums. You may have to register, and wait for me to approve your account. Please let me know what name you'll be using so I know you aren't a porn spammer. Rob, this means no spamming porn, man.

I'm Too Sexy For This Blog - Blog's Going To Leave Me...

2 Much Drama

OK, I'm not a big fan of drama, especially when it surrounds, of all things, weight loss blogs. I have enough drama to deal with, so I'm gonna go ahead and put my feet up and relax for a couple days until this all calms down.

There just seems to be a lot going on, and the fact that it's resorted to name-calling, accusations, etc, it's just not my style right now. I'm sure everybody has their reasons for acting the way they are, and saying the things they feel they need to say. I ain't mad at ya. I'm just gonna mind my bidness, and worry about my fatness.

I still have a lot of fatness to worry about.

All is well. I'm not quitting. I'm just not going to blog for a few days. No biggie.